NOVEMBER

Saturday 1st November 2025

Lots of physio and general strengthening exercises this morning. Tuna and pickled onions for breakfast. Listened to the radio and watched part of a Lin-Manuel Miranda and Lady Gaga interview on YouTube. Three episodes of Little House on the Prairie and TV game shows. OK. 10.10pm.

Sunday 2nd November 2025

Read some of The Nation’s Favourite Poems. Out of a hundred, I'd go along with little more than a dozen. Me and Jenni watched some short dramas based on stories by Anton Chekov, starring Mackenzie Crook, Johnny Vegas, Lydia Davis, Steve Coogan and others. Overeaten this weekend. Best cut back for a few days. OK. 10.10pm.

Monday 3rd November 2025

Out on the old Rockhopper bike for an hour. Did some pedal wheelies off kerbs. Got 'The Woman in the Case and Other Stories' by Anton Chekhov from Consett Library. Tweaked the margins on Joan Johnston's pamphlet. Uploaded last month's Poetry Jam pictures to Facebook. Reserved a ticket for Rachel Dunlop's flash fiction workshop, taking place in Stanhope later this month. Ate a load of protein. 10.57pm.


Tuesday 4th November 2025

Told the Waddy Writers I can't do a book with them if they don't submit typed material. Had another go at Joan's pamphlet. Only a couple of little glitches remaining. It would be good to go in a day if I could print at home, but I don't trust my machine in cold weather. Tonight, I put together my setlists for the Tynemouth 27th November Salon gig. Me, Scott Tyrrell and musician Carmen Curran. Should be a good one. I'm running a bit late because I've been selecting poems for my next official collection from the pamphlets I made in 2023 and this year's Letting the Minimalism Slip. I want the book to be a really solid collection that can hold its own against Hypomaniac and Laughter to Split Glass. Chuffed to be making progress. 11.59pm.


Wednesday 5th November 2025

Harry Gallagher was in touch with the running order for The Salon gig: Scott / Carmen / me in the first half. Then me / Carmen / Scott in the second half. No microphone, so that's great for me. I bought some tiny kitchen scales to weigh salad stuff and sultana peanut mix bags. This evening me and Jenni went to Desert Island Flicks at Tyneside Cinema. Dave Johns chatted to Stewart Lee about his favourite films with a load of clips on the big screen. The actor Kevin Eldon was there. Afterwards me and Jenni went to The Centurion pub till bus time. I bought beef medallions at Consett Tesco. Did my Over Fifties strengthening exercises back home and weighed portions of fruit and veg to calculate my calorific intake. Not much. 11.37pm.


Thursday 6th November 2025

Did more pamphlet tweaks then went out on the Sonder Frontier bike. Not great. The only off-road place that isn't gloopy is the waste ground at Castleside, but I couldn't get into my riding at all. I left and tried to do some pedal wheelies off pallets in the quarry - but greasy tyres and wet wood isn't a great combination... The setup at Poetry Jam went okay. The gig was superb. Great guest sets from Christopher Short, Dianne Cockburn and Donald Jenkins. Amazing open floor readings as well. We didn't finish till almost ten o'clock. I tidied up, then had a drink in The Bridge with James Oates and Tony Gadd. James gave me a ride through the fog back to Moorside. My tinnitus is super loud. My house smells of grilled beef. I probably shouldn't eat much more before bed. Anyway, a good day. I'm taking it easy tomorrow. OK. 11.52pm.


Friday 7th November 2025

All I did was bend down to get a Tupperware box out of a cupboard and felt a sharp pain in the tendon at the back of my right knee. My stupid body is determined to have me laid low this month, I'm sure... I had a good phone conversation with brother Mark about bikes today. He's eight years younger than me – but like me, he still likes to watch biketrial videos online... I went back to bed this afternoon because reading put me to sleep. This evening, I rehearsed my second set for The Salon gig. I'm having an early night, in hopes that my stupid body lets me ride a bike tomorrow. I can't shake off the desire to achieve a back wheel dismount from a ledge. It's a 2025 goal, but all woodland trails are muddy now. I should probably wait till next spring. 10.27pm.


Saturday 8th November 2025

At Watergate Forest Park by ten o'clock. Warmed up on some little bits of rock near the lake, then moved around to the bigger boulders. Unfortunately, wet tyres and sloped rock proved to be a lethal combination. But I managed to get one good clip, which I posted on Facebook this evening. I wanted a three-rock progression with a back wheel dismount but settled for rolling over two awkward big boulders. Hilarious documentary at Jen's about Norwich steam train this evening. 10.25pm.


Sunday 9th November 2025

Bit of a lie in then physio exercises. Radio 2 for Paddy McGuinness and a bit of Elaine Paige. Got a copy of Mountain Biking UK magazine whilst out for supplies because it contained a feature on trials legend Chris Akrigg. Ate a box of chicken drumsticks and lots of peanuts with sultanas. OK. 11.07pm.


Monday 10th November 2025

Big lie in. Took about an hour and ten minutes till almost eleven o'clock just to do morning pages and physio for my left arm. The ache is worse, but that's part of the healing process as the muscle repairs and builds, or so I'm led to believe by reading up online. I stayed at Jen's till almost two. Checked out some workshop material on the X70 to Consett. I bought two sets of thermals for a tenner at Barry's Bargain Superstore. Tonight, I shaved then sorted monthly finances. Did some Over Fifties strength training exercises. And prepped a workshop for Waddington Street Centre. Mainly memoir and flash fiction again. OK. 11.15pm.


Tuesday 11th November 2025

Think I've got the final version of Joan Johnston's pamphlet sorted. I'll be sending a copy out to her tomorrow. Tonight, I did bits of admin. Then had another run through the second set of my Salon gig pieces. Which came in at around seventeen minutes. I'll be doing about thirty-five minutes over two sets. I was just about to log off when I spotted an advert for Singletrack magazine. The new issue has a trials feature in it. So I ordered a copy. I am terrible. 11.17pm.


Wednesday 12th November 2025

Haven't done much today besides address my physical ailments. Did some shoulder exercises. Ate steak and tuna. Rested. Tonight, I read a few Phil Bowen poems and checked out his website. I hope my arm heals well enough to keep rock rolling on my Sonder Frontier. Tired and ready for bed. 11.07pm.


Thursday 13th November 2025

Big day at the computer. Got all the submissions up to date for the Washington anthology – formatted, then page mock-ups printed out for tomorrow's workshop. There are still three or four people to add to the mix. Enjoyed keying in and editing some of my own stuff from a summer half-marathon writing session. The laser printer doesn't like Autumn and Winter. Unheated rooms this late in the year aren't great for paper stock. The machine kept jamming. No shoulder exercises except the three prescribed for physio. Listened to Depeche Mode, Bunnymen and Bauhaus tracks. Bastette and Motorhead. 10.45pm.


Friday 14th November 2025

Washington workshop was mainly a reading session with some thoughts on sequencing poems and putting a gig set together. Thanks to Alwyn for the chat and lift to Gateshead. Joan got her pamphlet. I hope it's okay. I'd like to have the full run printed and assembled by the end of the month. 10.50pm.


Saturday 15th November 2025

Big lie in coz me and Jen stayed awake watching music vids on telly till two this morning. Haven't been out today. Watch some great 'Inside Number 9' episodes this evening. Big tuna and chicken intake. Lots of sleep. OK. 10.50pm.


Sunday 16th November 2025

Paddy McGuinness's phone-in was all about sandwich acronyms. He played Since You've Been Gone by Rainbow... Nice autumn blue sky this afternoon. Jenni spotted a five-quid wheelie case in a charity shop. Home early for the final tweak on Joan's pamphlet. Up at five tomorrow. 9.56pm.

Monday 17th November 2025

Out for the 5.45am bus to Durham. I knew no one would be at Waddy till 7.45am, but if I got the later bus, I might have got stuck in traffic. I walked up past the cathedral, picked up tuna and bananas in Tesco on the way back. Peter at Waddy opened my PDF and hit print. Joan Johnston's 'The Lay-By' is printed in a first edition of fifty copies on 120gsm paper with a green cover and Canson olive endpaper. Back home by 10.30am. Sex Pistols 1975-2025 annual arrived from Vive le Rock. I did shoulder exercises, then voiced in some Waddy Writers' work. Listened to one of the best Henry Rollins interviews ever. All about his writing process, publishing house, and love of literature. Almost two hours of insights. I aim to be in bed soon. It’s –1 degrees. 9.22pm.


Tuesday 18th November 2025

Reread a writing half-marathon booklet from earlier this year and liked all the pieces I wrote at that workshop and hope to find a home for all of them. This afternoon's Waddy session was in the computer suite. Five of us, reworking and typing up poems for the next anthology. The ten past four bus didn't turn up – got home at quarter to six. Lush chicken, curried beans, baked potato and mushrooms for tea. This evening, I did physical exercises, decluttered the living room carpet, then watched Twisted Sister live at Wacken heavy metal festival from 2003 on DVD. I've liked the band since I was fifteen, but had to wait until I was thirty-five to see them play live, supporting Alice Cooper at Newcastle Arena. Sick-Mutha-Fuckers just wanna rock. 11.41pm.


Wednesday 19th November 2025

Hovering around zero most of the day. Preliminary folds on Joan's pamphlet worked perfectly, the margins even better than her approved sample. 'The Lay-By' is a good-looking little publication. But 120gsm paper requires folding one sheet at a time to retain margin accuracy. Time-consuming, but worth it... I chatted to Ernie on the phone about my recent injuries and asked about Christmas. I don't really care too much about it these days. I don't really want anything in particular. I've eaten well today. I’ve made a healthy transition to hot meals by adding all my summer salad ingredients to curried baked beans – with steak and baked potato tonight. Made the Poetry Jam poster and event page for December. Listened to Venom on Spotify. Rarrghhh! 10.44pm.


Thursday 20th November 2025

The pamphlets are slow work in a near-zero temperature. I don't want to make any mistakes. All the pages are folded, the covers done. I need to trim some Canson to size from large sheets for endpapers, then the whole run needs stapling, flattening overnight, then trimming. I reckon it will take me into Saturday morning... I reread ‘This Isn't a Story About an Octopus’ tonight. And part of 'PENultimate'. I want to reread some of the pamphlets I've made for other people as well. OK. 11.41pm.


Friday 21st November 2025

Over sixteen hours on the go from morning pages at ten to eight. More folding, stapling and trimming of Joan's pamphlets today. Then an evening shopping trip. I got in touch with the local surgery again about the damaged arm. They emailed medical notes, but I could only open the first page, which says strained bicep. No mention of tearing. I've been keeping up with the physio and extra shoulder exercises. I feel a lot better, just an occasional twitch and shooting pain. Really cold inside and out today. 11.56pm.


Saturday 22nd November 2025

Slow day. Left arm hurt while holding metal ruler in place to trim pamphlets. I switched from the purple magnetic cutting mat to the non-slip green standard mat that Jenni bought me. The job became instantly much easier. Still twenty copies to finish... This evening, I read a few pages of THE TWISTED WHEEL by Dave Swann. Then sorted papers for the next two writing workshops. I did Over Fifties exercises and had lush hot fruit and veg with chicken. 10.33pm.


Sunday 23rd November 2025

Chuffed to finish the 50-copy print run of John Johnston's The Lay-By. I made a start-to-finish production video of the final copy. Then wrapped everything up. This evening, I pasted up a setlist book for The Salon gig taking place later this week. Worked seven days in a row on books and workshop prep. I'm taking tomorrow off and seeing Jenni for the day. OK. 10.59pm.


Monday 24th November 2025

Took way too long packing up for the week. Supposed to be at Jen's place late morning or early afternoon. I didn't get there till after five o'clock. Most of my stuff is ready. I ran through the sets for Thursday's Salon gig. Wrote to Joan about her pamphlet delivery. Saw the Glen Matlock documentary 'I Was a Teenage Sex Pistol' at Jen's. Good to see a key songwriter get the focus instead of just Rotten for a change... I haven't been on a bike for over a fortnight. I'm really tired. This is my last big week, then I'm winding down till January. 11.05pm.


Tuesday 25th November 2025

Absolutely mint evening at Cafe Under the Spire in Gateshead opposite Jen's place with a great gathering of poets. Lush to see Ann Porro, Viv Wiggins, Scott Tyrrell, James Wilkinson, Marie Lightman, Donald Jenkins, Kate Fox, Annie Moir, Steve May, Aaron Wright, Jessica Johnson, Hillary Green, Olya Bowers, and Yvonne Young. Jess brought a friend, and Scott's wife, Melissa, was there too. It wasn't an advertised gig. More of a meetup with a bit of open mic. Jenni hosted, on top form as ever. I read ‘Little Miss Sleepyhead’, ‘I Am the Face...’, ‘No, But How Are You Really?’ and ‘Gel Pen’. Good to be up close. No microphone required. Top stuff. OK 10.45pm.


Wednesday 26th November 2025

Up just after five o'clock in Gateshead this morning, out just before seven, in Crook, County Durham by half eight. The bus from there to Stanhope was at quarter past nine. I was in the venue by ten. Over a dozen people at Rachel Dunlop's 'Editing Flash Fiction' workshop. Eve Gray was there. Never seen her for about eight years. A lot of Rachael's approach leans towards literary poetry techniques. It was good, but not the way I would write a fictional vignette. I'm hopeless at following guidelines. Ian Martin from Washington Writers gave me a lift home. It took about twenty minutes. I packed up Joan's pamphlets and was back out after half an hour. At Jen's by four. We had planned to go out tonight but were way too tired. 9.50pm.


Thursday 27th November 2025

I met up with Joan Johnston this morning and gave her the box of pamphlets. We chatted about ailments, ageing, rampant nationalism, and small-press publishing. I had a great time at The Salon in Tynemouth tonight. Ace to see sets by Carmen Curran and Scott Tyrrell. I was well chuffed to have the middle section of the evening, either side of the interval. Got lots of laughs. Sold a couple of books. Scott read new stuff in the first half and performed his greatest hits in the second. I did it the other way round. It was a nice balance. Carmen really engaged the room and seemed to shift a lot of CDs. I was pleased with the way things went. Big thanks to Harry and Bridget Gallagher for inviting us. OK. 11.38pm.


Friday 28th November 2025

Canny autofiction and mini-memoir workshop at Washington, but maybe I should lay off the personal trauma pieces. Alwyn Bathan gave me a lift to Gateshead. I made my first Christmas purchase of the season in Tesco. Due to Black Friday, six buses in a row refused to let on more passengers, so it was a long wait and two and a half hours before me and Jenni reached Blackhill, Consett, for her gig at For Better Or Verse tonight. There was a great turnout, and she really enjoyed it. Megan Adams read poems about bats and nature. James Oates and Tony Gadd were amongst others with open floor readings. Jenni closed the night with a cracking greatest-hits set which went down a storm. I sold a couple more books. Got Jenni back on the bus, homeward bound, then went to Tesco on Genesis Way and wrote this down. 11.35pm.


Saturday 29th November 2025

I'm behind on admin after being away all week for workshops and gigs. Things might calm down for me now. I'm feeling a bit exhausted. I rode the Rockhopper bike for about a hundred minutes today. Briefly down by the River Derwent but too muddy really. This evening, I watched a superb live set from Rollins Band on YouTube, then did Over Fifties exercises. Think I'll be in bed early tonight. 9.15pm.


Sunday 30th November 2025

Shoulder exercises. Bus to Consett. Freedom Breakfast in The Company Row. Book notes on the X45 to Newcastle. Bought Saint Maud and Kill List on DVD. Saw a superb show called Scathed by the hilarious Nicola Mantalios at The Stand comedy club this afternoon. Then bus home. Kill List was very jumpy on my crappy player. Realised I'd seen it before but only remembered the hammer scene – which, on this occasion, my machine jarred then skipped. Probably for the best. 11.03pm.

OCTOBER

Wednesday 1st October 2025

Haven't been across the doorstep today. The fence builder worked in the rain and single-handedly erected half the garden’s width of the six-foot fence between my property and my neighbour's. Sounds odd: my property. I don't feel like I own my place. And many would say I haven't earned my place. My most treasured possessions are my hard drive, book collections, bicycles and some music CDs. The house saves me a fortune in rent. Which is just as well, coz things could be about to get real lean. Less than half an hour left of the day. October is Halloween month. Goth music and black metal music. Horror films. Spooky stories. The weather forecast is shit for the rest of the week. I am out at Waddington Street Centre for Poetry Jam tomorrow. OK. 11.33pm.

Thursday 2nd October 2025

Felt rushed to come up with something for tomorrow. Morning pages were a slog, and only when I switched to a blank foolscap did I get the full flow of exercise ideas for tomorrow. I was at Waddy by three. Had a meeting with Sheila from the college. She didn't know how I came to be employed by them and at Waddy in the first place. She totally got where I was coming from and said that under the circumstances, she'd feel the same way as me about paperwork and online training obligations... Jam setup took longer today. But worth it. Ace turnout. Brilliant turns on open floor: Tolu and friend, Steve May. Jenni Pascoe, Gaeran Southern, Aaron Wright, amongst others. Great feature sets as well from Sharon Milley, Thom Robson and headliner Ann Porro. I read Thank You Kindly Mr Patten and Boy of Bohemia. It took me about an hour to tidy up and lock up. I'm currently riding the last bus from Durham to Moorside. Another half hour before I get home. I just got a list of dates for Washington workshops that takes me right up to next July. Awesome. OK. 11.23pm.


Friday 3rd October 2025

Caught the 8:23am bus to Consett. Bought a box of pasta, then caught the bus to Chester-le-Street. Bought some fruit, then got the bus to Arts Centre Washington. Setup in the community room was good. Canny turnout. Eight people. Great warm-up using story titles as prompts for new writing. Drafts read back then the original stories from a flash fiction anthology. And an opportunity to submit material for publication. We ended on the theme of Play. Then five people kindly bought copies of Letting the Minimalism Slip. Then Barrie West showed me around WiTCH - an art exhibition about the treatment of women through the ages. Startling stuff. Buses out of Washington's Biddick Lane are problematic. I forgot my mobile device and had to go back for it. Horrid wet weather. I rolled my ankle this evening. Think it's sprained. Watched Ozzy Osbourne documentary. Very sad. Then some editing. Late entry. 12.30am.


Saturday 4th October 2025

Ankle wasn't so bad this morning, no bad bruising. Still a bit sore to walk on. Prepped a gig set for WaterAid. Then worked on formatting of Rave poetry book for Donald Jenkins. Wrote my official resignation letter to New College Durham this afternoon, citing mental health, and planned two workshops on the bus to Gateshead this evening. OK. 11.20pm.


Sunday 5th October 2025

Me and Jenni went to the Soundroom for WaterAid gig. Jenni hosted. Me, Tolu, and Aaron Wright did 20-minute sets. There was open mic from Jen's mam, Ian Hart, Vinci, Ross Punton and Mark Speeding. This evening, Speedy did a set of One Dollar Zombies songs and was then joined by Gary Franks to perform as The Pathos. Great stuff. Watched a Billy Joel concert on telly later. OK. 10.59pm.


Monday 6th October 2025

STUPID FUCKING CUNTING COMPUTER. I DIDN'T EVEN WANT WINDOWS CUNTING ELEVEN! I DIDN'T WANT WINDOWS CUNTING TEN. BUT OH NO, YOU HAVE TO UPGRADE COZ WE ARE DISCONTINUING BACK-UP FOR WINDOWS XP. AND WINDOWS EIGHT. AND WINDOWS NINE AND THREE FUCKING QUARTERS. SO NOW I'VE GOT ELEVEN AND IT'S NO DIFFERENT TO TEN EXCEPT THAT MY LASER PRINTER WON'T PRINT BOOKLETS. EVEN THOUGH THE OPTION IS ON THE FUCKING SCREEN! I FUCKING HATE COMPUTERS. AND THESE FAKE CUNTS THAT WANT US TO HAVE A DIGITAL I.D. CENTRAL BANK DIGITAL CURRENCY BARCODED FUCKING SHEEPLE SYSTEM. CUNT OFF!! GIVE ME A PHOTOCOPIER AND AN ELECTRIC TYPEWRITER. A VHS MACHINE AND A SNAIL MAIL POSTAL SERVICE. FUCK PROGRESS. FUCK LIFE! 11.50PM.


Tuesday 7th October 2025

Better day. First workshop with Waddy since parting with NCD. I waited till the end to tell the members. To say they were pleased at no longer having to do paperwork was an understatement. Jenni came over to my place today. The laser printer needed to be reinstalled. All the drivers needed to be manually downloaded. The duplex booklet function is now working. Some Google updates were very slow. Jen is going to check it all again in the morning. I've not done much this evening. Tried to find a clean Charles Bukowski story at the request of Waddy readers, but I failed. Just about every story in Tales of Ordinary Madness has expletives and is near the knuckle sexually. Not ideal. I hope to be okay to ride a bike on Thursday. I'm out for a bookmaking meeting with Joan Johnston tomorrow. 11.45pm.

Wednesday 8th October 2025

Jenni took Crap Cleaner off the desktop computer today and contacted TalkTalk about the ultra-shit-slow broadband. There is a fault on the landline, and an engineer is coming out to fix it. It's external, so I don't need to be home when he calls. Me and Jenni had spice bags for lunch at Wetherspoons. Hot chicken pieces in chilli-peppered rice with chips. Gorgeous. I met up with Joan Johnston this afternoon in Details Art Store to look at colour combinations for her pamphlet. Within an hour, Joan had chosen her cover card and endpaper, page paper and preferred printing method. Tonight, me and Jen went to the Earth Requiem exhibition at Arts Centre Washington. Some fabulous stuff on the walls. Barrie West showed Jen his dark installation in the WiTCH exhibition. I told him I sprained my ankle after viewing it last Friday. This freaked him out… Rowan McCabe is in the Radio Times this week. Double page spread. Get in! Well chuffed for him. OK. 11.55pm.


Thursday 9th October 2025

I prepped some ideas for the forthcoming Weardale WordFest workshop today. Much more than the required two hours of material. I wrote to Chris Powell and said I don't mind doing a bit longer if necessary. She said okay, and I can get a taxi both ways and be reimbursed in addition to my fee. This afternoon, I made some trail modifications in the woods near where I live. Typical, it's almost season's end, and now I've got some new bits and pieces to play on. A neighbour let me have some old fence wood to make a ramp against a fallen tree blocking a trail. I'm going to take it there either tomorrow or Saturday. This evening, I watched a grotesque film called Hillside Cannibals. I didn't like it. I tried to watch a Sex Pistols documentary but fell asleep. That's the second time. Third time lucky? OK. 11.52pm.


Friday 10th October 2025

Up quite early and out on the 8.23am bus to Consett. Then one to Shotley Bridge, with part of next door's garden fence. I got off near The Crown and Crossed Swords, then walked along the road, over the bridge, up into the woods, and onto the trail that has a tree blocking it. I used the bit of fence as a ramp. I don't know if it will work yet. I'm going back tomorrow on the Sonder bike... I wanted samples of Joan’s pamphlet printed this afternoon at Waddington Street Centre, but a staff meeting scuppered my plans. I spent a fortune on food supplies instead. This evening, I did work-log and gratitude journal copy-ups. About a month's worth. And sketched out more ideas for my Writing for Performance workshop taking place in a fortnight at Weardale WordFest. Hope to be biking again tomorrow. OK. 11.10pm.


Saturday 11th October 2025

Up early and out on the Sonder bike. I rode the little ramp over the tree trunk. It worked perfectly. I also did a rear-wheel dismount from a four-pallet stack in Castleside quarry. Had a nice chicken salad for dinner, then went to Watergate Forest Park to check out rock-riding possibilities. A woman accused me of being a weirdo peeping tom, so I told her in no uncertain terms to get her facts straight before accusing someone just reading trail lines of doing anything untoward. A kid on a bike said she does it quite often. Jenni and I watched telly and ate snacks. OK. 10.35pm.


Sunday 12th October 2025

Big lazy day at Jen's. Mainly listening to the radio, then watched two episodes of the new Sally Wainwright drama Riot Women. Ate lots of peanuts and hot dogs, tuna and beans. OK. 11.15pm.


Monday 13th October 2025

STUPID CUNTING BASTARD WINDOWS FUCKPIG ELEVEN. WHY THE CUNTING FUCK DOESN'T ADOBE LET ME SAVE A PDF FILE FROM MY HARD DRIVE TO A USB STICK ANYMORE? WHY HAS A 10-MINUTE JOB TO INSERT A THUMBNAIL IMAGE INTO A BOOKLET DOCUMENT TAKEN THREE AND A HALF FUCKING HOURS? AND NOW THAT IT'S DONE, I CAN'T TRANSPORT IT VIA USB. AND THE EMAIL SENT TO THE OFFICE WHERE THE FILE IS TO BE PRINTED – WHICH I CC'D MYSELF IN – HASN'T SHOWN UP IN MY INBOX. FUCKING SICK TO CUNTING DEATH OF COMPUTERS. FUCK OFF!! 11.46pm.


Tuesday 14th October 2025

Poor start. Not enough sleep. Got to Waddy only to discover that I'd forgotten my USB stick with pamphlet files on it. Foul mood for most of the morning, but the writing session cheered me up this afternoon. Bus home was packed. I didn't do any rehearsals. In the last few days, I've been trying to memorise "Tuppenny Chinwag" but it’s slow work. I can dawdle through the first few stanzas, but it will probably take months before I can recite it well at home. And much longer before it's okay to attempt hands-free in front of an audience. Tonight, I tweaked the cover of Joan Johnston's pamphlet. It looks good and she's pleased with it. I watched Mark Speeding's One Dollar Zombies set from WaterAid at The Soundroom on YouTube. Great stuff. And a bit of retro biketrial action. Wish I could still ride like twenty years ago. OK. 11.15pm.


Wednesday 15th October 2025

Went down to Waddy to print a sample copy of Joan Johnston's new pamphlet. It looks really good, but the PDF prints slightly bigger on the Waddy machine than mine. And I need to use the Waddy printer for heavier paper stock. I will sort it in due course. This evening, I gave my Sonder Frontier bike a good clean. I'm toying with the idea of a bus journey to Watergate Forest Park tomorrow with the bike, the pocket camcorder, and a packed lunch. Ideally, I'd like to bus home afterwards. I’ve replenished handouts for Friday's Washington workshop and keyed in notes for Stanhope's Writing for Performance. I've been out to buy supplies. Including paper and pens. The nights are chillier now. My left ankle aches in the cold, but it's fine to walk on. Been sharing "Tuppenny Chinwag" on social media a lot lately. Fuck the Digital ID and cashless society. OK. 10.30pm.


Thursday 16th October 2025

Up early to do a scathing opening to morning pages. Then eased off a bit. Went to Watergate Forest Park on the X70 bus with my Sonder bike on board. I had an ace time doing rock rides, but unfortunately strained my left arm doing one of the big step-ups that I used to do on my Zoo Pitbull bike twenty years ago. I hope it doesn't take too long to heal. I reckon I could ride in Watergate Forest Park until mid-November if I get my arm working again. On the way through Consett, I decided to buy meat. Had a rump steak with curried beans and mushrooms for tea. Then uploaded a few of today’s pics to my Trail Trundler Facebook album. Did some formatting for the next Washington Writers anthology. I've taken three lots of painkillers today. My arm was in a total uproar this afternoon. But I aim to have a good workshop in Washington tomorrow. OK. 11.09pm.


Friday 17th October 2025

The 8.23am bus didn't turn up this morning. I got to Washington at about five past eleven. Set up was easy. A repeat of Tuesday's session from Waddington Street. Thank you, Alwyn Bathan, for the lift to the Metro Centre. Home by half four. Chicken salad, a bit of work on the Writing for Performance workshop. I think it might be the wrong thing for me to be doing. I have no mental retention ability and don't write many performance poems. I hope I can pull it off okay. Tonight, I went to Consett Empire to see Emma Kenny's ‘Killer Couples’ true crime show and wish I hadn't. She knows her stuff and talked fluently, seemingly without notes, for two hours. But I fell asleep. I thought it odd for there to be merch on sale. A book, yes. But not clothing. I got supplies at Tesco and was home by eleven. Big prep day tomorrow. OK. 11.50pm.


Saturday 18th October 2025

Been to Shotley Bridge Hospital today. I have a Popeye bicep tear in my left arm. Luckily, it's not too severe and should heal without surgery. I'm expecting more info on Monday. Getting old is shit. My main hobby is biking. Off-road in particular. I've been told I can ride on tarmac, but no heroics. Tonight, I replenished the handouts for a creative writing taster session. I have four workshops next week. OK. 10.22pm.

Sunday 19th October 2025

Possibly not wise to go out on the old hybrid bike, but the doctor said it should be okay. My left shoulder ached at the computer this evening. I keyed in more Writing for Performance workshop notes. They are still a bit iffy. I listened to USELESS – THE VERY BEST OF TV SMITH this evening. Ate a beef steak with beans and mushrooms. OK. 11.37pm.


Monday 20th October 2025

Went out for the 8.23am bus. It didn't show up. Back home, I got the call from University Hospital of North Durham. I have an appointment for next week to get another assessment of the damage to my left bicep. I've been assured it's not a full tear, and that with physio I'll be biking off-road again next spring. The workshop in Horden Library today was canny. Eight participants. It ran for over two hours. With a two-and-a-half-hour journey each way. I'm pleased I did it. I re-edited notes tonight for the workshop I'm doing for Weardale Wordfest on Friday. I hope my left arm gets better over the next couple of months. The right one went wrong five years ago. But is okay now. 11.23pm.


Tuesday 21st October 2025

I rediscovered a load of good workshop content that I can reuse in Washington, Waddy and elsewhere. The session at Waddy went well. I road-tested the new content that I'll be using in Weardale on Friday. Instead of doing one half-hour-long lecture-style section, I'm going to break it up a bit and intersperse it with writing exercises. I'm feeling confident about creativity. Not so confident about my left arm. I hope the bulbous lump of loose muscle goes somewhat back to normal. Tonight, I tweaked my essay again for the workshop. And did a bit of an edit on a Waddy writer's story. I responded to work emails. I forgot to buy bread, so supper was peanuts, sultanas and a small orange. My joints hurt as the temperature drops. OK. 11.25pm.


Wednesday 22nd October 2025

Buses to Durham and Bishop Auckland were fine. But the Durham station toilets are still out of order. Anyone who needs two or three buses in a row is likely to need a comfort break. As the weather gets colder, those with weak bladders, trying to make it to appointments, might leave a puddle or two. I've had toilet accidents in the past… Today's workshop was good, but there was some confusion about the time. Half one it started, not one o'clock. I was there before midday to set up, much to the concern of the venue manager. Eight participants. We played Finish the Sentence, did I remember…, Hero poems, 26 Characters, Consequences, Triolets, and ‘I Am’ poems. After the session, I got a selfie with Nosferatu on Newgate Street. Was home by half six. Chicken and chips for tea. Tonight, I listened to the first disc from the ‘Crimes Against Nature’ Lydia Lunch spoken-word box set. Awesome storytelling and brilliant delivery. OK.10.34pm.


Thursday 23rd October 2025

Eleven-hour workday. Got all the workshop exercises sequenced with various handouts for tomorrow. Made a handful of copies of Letting the Minimalism Slip – really enjoyed inking up the covers. Tweaked my essay to include a bit on microphones. I don't like using them. I've probably got far too much material, but we can exceed the original two-hour slot. It should be okay. I watched the video for the new Michael Monroe single. The whole band were in spoof bland clothing and dodgy wigs. It's very odd to see glam/trash rockers in ordinary middle-aged clothes. My ears are ringing, and my knees are grinding. The right arm aches more than the torn left. I don't need to be up too early tomorrow. I'm all packed. And looking forward to a day away. OK. 11.10pm.


Friday 24th October 2025

Great day out at Stanhope St Thomas Church Hall for WordFest Writing for Performance workshop. I got there about twenty past eleven. I rehearsed in the empty hall. Then spent ninety minutes setting up my stuff. We started a bit late because people wanted tea and coffee. I did an extra forty-five minutes and got through almost all of what I prepared, but not in the intended order. It was good to meet new people. There were some very good ‘I Remember…’ and ‘I Am…’ pieces in the workshop. Chris Powell very kindly provided red pepper and lentil soup with buns, and some awesome cake for tea. Then I put a short set together for this evening. There were ten open floor readers and me. Most read two rounds. Steve Wood and Dave Rutherford were there. I did about fourteen minutes at the end. Taxi home was swift. Less than twenty minutes. Hope to get back to WordFest again sometime. Big thanks to all involved. OK.11.35pm.

Saturday 25th October 2025

Big lie in and a lazy morning. Took me a while to get out of the house because every item I removed from yesterday’s bags prompted me to do something. Ended up trying to select poems for next month's gig in North Shields. I got a bus to Newcastle and bought the endpapers for Joan Johnston's pamphlet. Nipped into HMV and WHSmith. Bit of food shopping at Tesco then Saturday TV at Jen's place. OK.11.33pm.


Sunday 26th October 2025

Awake around eight o'clock. Jenni went out for a train event. I wrote an essay, edited it for three hours, then posted it in a Facebook group. Later, we watched four episodes of Riot Women. Great series. Enjoyed the humour and dark psychology. The band was great as well. OK.11.20pm.


Monday 27th October 2025

The bus was late from Gateshead this morning. I wanted a cooked breakfast at Consett Wetherspoons but didn't get there till midday – and that's when they stop serving. I made do with a banana from Tesco. Then walked in the sunshine to Moorside. The house was as I left it: crumbs on the kitchen carpet and purple stains on the countertop. I had baked beans with cheap curry powder and a tin of tuna. I wrote three emails and sent three invoices. I adjusted the margins on Joan's pamphlet. I had more tuna and curried beans with a baked potato. Tonight, I pulled together a Halloween workshop for tomorrow’s Waddy session and checked early bus times to Durham. I need to be in bed soon if I'm to make my 10.20am appointment at the rehabilitation clinic. OK. 9.55pm.


Tuesday 28th October 2025

Up about half five to do morning pages, then off to Waddy to get another tweaked version of Joan's pamphlet printed. The margins are being a pain. I'll try again next week. We did a Halloween Special for the writing workshop, and everyone rose to the occasion. Enjoyed it. I've been to see the physiotherapist at the hospital; three strengthening exercises to do: bicep curl, hammer curl, and upturned palm arm extension. I did 30 reps of each and reckon I'll be able to lift more or do more reps in a couple of weeks. I've had a night off, save submitting a piece of flash fiction on a Waddy Writer's behalf. Hope they get an acceptance. It's cold tonight. My ears are ringing. I've had a beef medallion steak with curried beans, mushrooms and a baked potato. Hope I don't put on too much weight. I'm biking tomorrow. OK. 10.40pm.

Wednesday 29th October 2025

Over three hours on the Sonder bike down by the riverside. Despite being in the early stages of recovery from a torn bicep, I found that I was able to do all the routes ridden throughout the year, managing to get cleans (no feet down) on lots of obstacles and even managed a grassy ledge step up. My arms were a bit tired, but no major pain. Wanted to read "A Dull Roar" by Henry Rollins, but I fell asleep at teatime. Ate a big salad with beef medallion steak. Had concentrated cherry juice, peanuts and sultanas, and a cheese and cucumber ‘thin’ sandwich. Did physio again tonight. I've now got a little bit of a migraine, and I'm struggling to stay on the lines of the page. Big rippled vision in my right eye, but no headache. I will be in bed soon. Typing and workshop prep tomorrow. OK. 9.10pm.

Thursday 30th October 2025

House is freezing today. Two pairs of joggers, two fleeces. Hot water bottle for hands at the keyboard. And nowhere near proper winter yet. The price paid for shedding two stone of fat. I need a ton of protein in the next ten weeks. I want to come back in 2026 fully revived and with good upper body strength... Today I replenished the handouts for the Halloween creative writing session. Listened to I LOVED YOU AT YOUR DARKEST by Behemoth. Watched some Jeff Lenosky bike vids as well. I did fifteen ‘Over 50s’ strength training exercises today. I aim to get out to Watergate Forest Park on foot with the camera after tomorrow’s Washington workshop; I'd like some shots of big rocks and trail lines. OK. 10.35pm.


Friday 31st October 2025

Up around 6.30am for morning pages. New clothes on and out to Consett. ATM withdrawal, then bus to Chester-le-Street. Bought peanuts, checked protein content in various cuts of meat. But seems like tuna is the best source financially. The workshop today was in the lower barn. I was a little shaky in places, but the exercises went well. Wrote two new pieces. Group members wrote more. After the session, Alwyn Bathan kindly gave me a lift to Watergate Forest Park. I took pics of rock clusters and the big boulder that buggered my left bicep. I don't know if I'll be there on the bike this side of Christmas. Maybe. I went into Gateshead afterwards for food supplies. Lots of protein. Watched Psycho II with Jenni but fell asleep before the end. Ate four pork pies. I will have to live on tuna and fruit for a couple of days. I’m going to be busy next week. Having a lazy weekend. OK. 10.37pm.

 

SEPTEMBER

Monday 1st September 2025

Only about five hours sleep. Full Cumbrian breakfast around seven. I made some sandwiches and grabbed a muffin as well. I was on the bike and leaving Penrith by half past eight. Dry morning. Hartside Pass was okay. But I got soaked on the descent into Garrigill. Chilly for around three hours. I thought it best to do the full mileage in two days, rather than three. Nenthead was a bit flooded. Glasses blurred, sweat in my eyes. Weather faired up a bit later for the final stretch from Consett to Sunderland. Pleased to complete the C2C from Whitehaven to Roker. Had a smashburger for supper. Got a metro to Gateshead. Too tired to write. Fell asleep with the pen in my hand. 11.47pm.

Tuesday 2nd September 2025

Me and Jen had a lazy morning then I went out for supplies. Tuna and chilli beans for dinner. Lots of comments on my post about the bike ride. We went to South Shields for Rowan McCabe's ‘Hard Knocks’ show tonight. He did about eight or nine poems with long intros and stories. His book The Door to Door Poet was there but we are waiting till the official launch next week to buy ours. Rowan did stuff from recent gigs plus bits from his door-to-door poetry exploits. The metro rides were good. I am still tired after the C2C. I thought I'd be wrecked for a week, but hopefully okay by Friday. I need to prep my Washington workshop and submit three short pieces for the Bristol Flash Fiction Festival anthology. I need to book two more guests for next Poetry Jam. It's almost bedtime. 10.46pm.


Wednesday 3rd September 2025

Content is good to go for first four Washington workshops. Got my little C2C album on Facebook. A couple of flukey good shots but mostly just pics of my 19-year-old Rockhopper bike leaning against fences. Deadline for flash anthology has been extended to 14th September. I had a beef steak with chilli beans and mushrooms this evening. I'm low on Cherry Active juice. More on order but won't arrive till Sunday. 11.24pm.

Thursday 4th September 2025

Keyed in notes, did some edits. Set up Waddy for Poetry Jam. Small in numbers, big on enthusiasm. Great to see Andy Willoughby read. Great to see Jenni. She read a poem about me doing C2C and one about photographs. Ian Hart read some serious and funny stuff and ended with Parrot Noise. Christine Fowler's poems were mostly short: some light, some really dark ones about graveyards, blackheads and other stuff. Tom Kelly was on form. I loved the ‘Chuck Berry and Me’ poems. He did a William Jopling poem, then Geordie, and two shipbuilding monologues. It's good to hear work for second or third time. I ate more chicken tonight and prepped my sandwiches for Washington. 11.42pm.

Friday 5th September 2025

Up early to do morning pages then get ready for Washington. Finish the sentence, Tricube poems, Exquisite Corpse… Thanks to Alwyn for chat and lift to Metro Centre. Worked on August blog then out around 9 o'clock to catch the bus to Gateshead. Jenni is away, but I'm staying at her place because I need to be up early to take part in two fiction workshops at the Word WRITE Festival in South Shields. I've had three tins of tuna with a tin of barbecue beans and now struggling to stay awake.11.49pm.

Saturday 6th September 2025

Chatted online with Jenni at breakfast time. Public transport to South Shields okay. CG Hatton’s ‘standout fiction’ workshop was very impressive. This afternoon’s flash fiction session was an overview of the genre then an opportunity to write a short story for an anthology to be published within a week. I've done my first draft. Ate lots of chicken, did a bit of decluttering tonight and washing up for Jenni. OK. 10.32pm.


Sunday 7th September 2025

Wrote another draft of my little flash fiction from WRITE Festival. Went out to buy food. Me and Jenni watched the new Sheridan Smith drama ‘I Fought the Law’. Very powerful. Ate lots of chicken sandwiches today. OK.10.39pm.

Monday 8th September 2025

Front wheel hub of the Rockhopper started rattling like pebbles in a tin can near Beamish this morning; probably all the rain has flushed out the grease. I'll take it to Shaun at Bits4Bikes in due course. This afternoon I made a preliminary selection of poems for my 19th September gig at For Better Or Verse. I'm including quite a few from September Scrapbook. I'll use a slam sequence and some greatest hits, plus one or two new poems. 10.28pm.


Tuesday 9th September 2025

Got through a lot of work prep but still behind on my personal copy-ups. This evening, I went out on the Sonder Frontier bike for the first offroad ride since before the C2C. Took me a while to get used to the more laid-back head angle, but the bigger wheels and wider tyres were very welcome after hitting potholes on the Rockhopper last week. No new ground covered, no new manoeuvres, but an enjoyable hour. Later, I did a couple of read throughs of my For Better or Verse feature set which comes in around 26 minutes. I can shorten if necessary, without ruining the flow. I submitted three flash fiction stories to the Bristol anthology today. Planned the first session for a new term at Waddy. 11.35pm.

Wednesday 10th September 2025

In town quite early this morning for supplies. I seem to spend a lot of time in supermarkets and I'm eating chicken most days of the week. I made a print-out for next week’s gig set at For Better or Verse in Blackhill hosted by Steve and Melanie Wood. Delighted that Mr Wood says it’s okay to do about half an hour of material. I listened to the new Suede album Antidepressants tonight. Title track plus Disintegrate and June Rain my current favourites. I'll need to listen to their recent albums a lot between now and February before I attempt to see them in York. 10.42pm.


Thursday 11th September 2025

Packed up too much stuff for Morecambe then bus to Consett was late so it took over two hours to reach Jen’s place. It only took two and a half hours from Newcastle to Morecambe; all the train connections were perfect. Me and Jen bought food in Poundland and unpacked at The Shipping Lanes hotel. Tony Gadd is staying in the room below ours. Good to see him. We all got soaked on our way to the first part of the Poetry Festival. I can't remember any performers names and very little of what I heard but they were good. The second half of the first night at The King's Arms didn’t resonate so much with me. I kept nodding off. I'm loaded with cold. Meds wearing off by 10 o'clock, I just wanted to be back in the hotel. Jenni is still out. I think this might be my last year at the festival. I’m keen to get to bed. OK.11.45pm.


Friday 12th September 2025

Still have the snotty beak this morning. Breakfast was good: cornflakes, egg and bacon muffin, strawberry yogurt with added strawberries and blueberries, apple juice, orange juice and a banana. Jen took me to Carnforth train station where the film Brief Encounter was filmed 80 years ago; the museum has it playing on a loop in a mini cinema. We went to a local bookshop that had an early copy of The Wide Skirt poetry magazine. We caught a train back to Morecambe. I bought two quick-dry t-shirts in a charity shop and a Kevin Brooks novel. Chicken based bargains in Poundland. Unfortunately, I had a bit of a panic/blowout/hissy fit in a restaurant then a grumpy night at the festival. Only Luke Wright had enough impact to keep me awake. It fucking pissed down again. At least the sniffles seemed to be on the wane. OK. 11.55pm.

Saturday 13th September 2025

Enjoyed seeing and hearing Robin Ince do a lunchtime hour-long set at Morecambe Poetry Festival today. Other highlights were Claire Pollard’s poems about neglected female poets, and a gothic set from Jessica Traynor who signed a copy of her ‘New Arcana’ collection. Tonight, in The Winter Gardens we saw an hour from Henry Normal followed by Nigel Planer. We were a bit tired afterwards so came back to the hotel early. OK. 11.25pm.

Sunday 14th September 2025

The Morecambe Poetry Festival was ace today. I really enjoyed John Osborne, Louise Fazackerly, The Hovis Presley Tribute, Andy Bennett, Steph Dogfoot, Beth Hartley, Roland Crowland, Claire Ferguson Walker and Michael Rosen. Me and Jenni had burger and chips from a street vendor, and sandwiches from Poundland. We're currently at The Kings Arms where Jackie Hagan’s Manky Mates are about to take to the stage. OK. 10.55pm.


Monday 15th September 2025

We got back to the hotel around half one this morning. The finale of the festival at The Kings Arms was great, particularly Thick Richard and Matt Pannesh. We had our final big breakfast around nine o'clock this morning. The weather was bad for most of the weekend. The Pier Bookshop was closed today because it was too windy. Train connections weren't as good as Thursday, so the journey was about fifty minutes longer. Jenni booked us a mega dinner delivery for our return to Bensham. We watched Corrie and some episodes of Mitchell and Web Are Not Helping. OK. 10.14pm.


Tuesday 16th September 2025

First day back at Waddy. I did nothing new at all: absurd words, journal well-being, assessment questionnaire, then beginning sentences of stories. A bit of photocopying then bus to Jen’s. I’ve read most of Supermarket Love Story by John Osborne. Particularly enjoyed the Tannoy voice of closing time monologue and the cleanup in aisle six stuff. Ate chicken thins for tea and a little chocolate cake. Then out to Byker for Rowan McCabe’s book launch at The Cluny 2. Enjoyed Cooper Robson and Jess Johnson and of course Rowan. About eighty people there. Pleased he sold a canny whack of books. He was on top form. It was much the same as I saw him in South Shields but with a stock car racing section. Me, Jenni and Marie walked into town. This entry is a bit late. OK. 12.43am.


Wednesday 17th September 2025

Had another run through the gig set. It comes in around 25 minutes. I hope it's okay. The newest piece was written last year and the oldest 33 years ago. I hope it works. This evening, I rode the Frontier bike on slightly messy trails but still had a good time. I read the rest of Supermarket Love Story by John Osborne. I like his everyday observations and anything-can-be-poetry approach. I still have a runny nose and now a cold sore. OK.10.55pm.


Thursday 18th September 2025

Did the publicity for next month's Poetry Jam and posts for two workshops. Printed five copies of September Scrapbook and ten copies of Letting the Minimalism Slip. I only intended to do a few of each, but the laser printer was behaving itself and the paper didn’t scuff up. I only assembled a couple. Jenni ordered copies of Flash Mob, the WRITE Festival anthology of tiny stories edited by CG Hatton. I like the black and burgundy cover. I even like my story. Me and Jenni went to see a play called Yen at Alphabetti Theatre. Really strong acting from two lads. Molly from old Coronation Street played their mother. We had a drink in Station East and a Ginsters Moroccan vegetable pasty from Tesco. I'm up late on a school night. OK. 11.42pm.


Friday 19th September 2025

Sick to fucking bits of this bastard snotty nose. Over a week now. Bus to Washington was a furnace. Then I got on the Heworth bus instead of Houghton-le-Spring by mistake. The workshop was canny. Eight writers joined me for absurd words, journal wellbeing prompts and capturing the ephemeral plus responses to published poems. Big thanks to Alwyn for the chat and lift to Metro Centre. I had beans and tuna for tea. Jenni went to Sunderland for Stage Fright, and I went to Consett for the spoken word night For Better or Verse. Pleased to see Jonjo and his wife Kate there. Steve Wood put me on in the first half so they could catch my full set before they had to leave. I did about half an hour. Enjoyed it. After the break, Lorraine Weightman did her overheard conversation poems and a few favourites. I left as soon as she finished to get a 45 bus to Newcastle. It pissed down. Got a metro to Gateshead and bought supplies in Tesco. Then hopped on the 49A Winlaton bus that dropped me off just behind the Cafe under the Spire opposite Jen’s place. My nose has started running badly again. 11.38pm.


Saturday 20th September 2025

Grand day out at the Word WRITE festival in South Shields today for The Word is Murder presented by Vic Watson. The authors were Steph McGovern, Fiona Cummins, CM Ewan, John Sutherland, Vaseem Khan, Emma Flint and MJ Arlidge. It was good to listen to all seven talk about the crime novel. Tonight, I read a bit of Steph's debut ‘Dead Line’ and ordered CM Ewan's ‘Strangers in the Car’ online from Consett Library. OK. 10.17pm.


Sunday 21st September 2025

Visited Heaton Rail Centre with Jenni, Hillary and John. Saw some vintage trains. Jenni bought lots of badges and other souvenirs. Back in the attic, I ate lots of chicken. On the bus home, I started reading the first short story in Stephen King’s new collection You Like it Darker. It's not dark and it's not short – over two hours and still unfinished. Left a notebook at Jen’s. 10.21pm.


Monday 22nd September 2025

Pretty shitty day. I'm struggling to move forward with college paperwork. I think I've reached the end of the line. I’m fine with giving people some basic workshop exercises. I'm not good at prescribed schemes of work and assessments. I don't know how to assess anyone's anything. I think I'm done with college stuff. I'll see how I feel in a couple of days, but I just can't get my head around the new paperwork. I can't switch off my agitation. Even went out on the bike up on the waste ground but couldn’t ride properly. I don't know how I'm going to replace the money I'll lose if I can't do the college work, but I don't want to make myself ill, getting stressed every week. It took me years to get comfortable with the old format. I'm not a fucking teacher. I'm done. 9:23pm.


Tuesday 23rd September 2025

Told staff at Waddy how I feel about college paperwork. Unfortunately, I didn't get to speak with the manager and was advised by Steve Wakefield to wait a couple of days, to get a meeting with the college before making a final decision. The workshop this afternoon went well: warm up was a five-minute freewrite from anthology poem titles, then noun diary entries, drawing on childhood for inspiration, a revisit of story opening lines followed by a full reading of The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World by Gabriela Garcia Marquez. A bit of magic realism with discussion then unexpected starts to stories, ‘in media res’ to finish. I read Thank You Kindly Mr Patten and explained how it came about. This evening, I bought food then started sifting through material for my next poetry collection. Trying to top ‘Letting the Minimalism Slip’ will be difficult. And I've knacked my left shoulder. 11.32pm.


Wednesday 24th September 2025

I took the Rockhopper to Shaun at Bits4Bikes this morning. Surprisingly the hub stopped rattling on the way there. I still reckon it’s fucked. Got some DVDs and an eighties edition fine condition paperback Cujo by Stephen King in a charity shop and a ticket for Emma Kenny’s ‘Killer Couples’ show at Consett Empire. This afternoon was mostly copy-ups for logbooks and a letter to the Waddy manager about college paperwork. More copy-ups tonight and my right hand is now aching. 9.55pm.


Thursday 25th September 2025

Spent a fair bit of time copying up worklog and gratitude journal. I've read some flash fiction, some poems, and a Stephen King story. Also, some early Henry Rollins work from his 1990 book BANG! His pieces were more powerful and engaging than anything else I've read today, but he's never written much like that since about 1998. Tonight, I listened to a load of Adam and the Ants songs. I prefer the early stuff: pre ‘Kings…’ and B-sides. Spotify played Gary Numan, Echo and the Bunnymen, Soft Cell, Sparks, amongst others. Jenni messaged from London: “Is Steve having a good time?” I've got cold sores and a runny scabby nose and a dodgy work situation. I made more book samples for Joan Johnston. Bed soon. 9.55pm.


Friday 26th September 2025

Good time down by the river on my Sonder Frontier bike. Trails were dry and I managed to repair the step-up behind a fallen tree with rocks and more soil dug from a bankside using my little garden fork and trowel. I can now ride that section, no feet down. Took the bike under the bridge at Shotley and rode a couple of rocky sections as well. This evening, I watched bits and pieces of trial riding and music videos.11.58pm.


Saturday 27th September 2025

Fruity porridge breakfast and a bus ride up to Consett. The Panasonic CD double cassette deck going for 20 quid in a charity shop has gone. The final cans of Heinz chilli beans in Barry's Bargain Superstore have gone. Lesson learnt: sometimes it’s wise to impulse buy before someone else does… Fell asleep on the X70 to Gateshead. Bought some food then went to Jen’s. Ate chicken sandwiches then out to see Jenny Eclair at Northern Stage. She was really funny. Jenni enjoyed her lots. OK.11.45pm.


Sunday 28th September 2025

Long lie-in.
Jenni went to Darlington
for a train convention.
I went to Newcastle
for a cheap dinner:
two chicken breasts for
57p plus a 35p orange.
Then a bus to Consett.
I've read a Stephen
King short story, listened
to some Henry Rollins
spoken word, and voiced
notes into messenger.
The tinnitus is loud
and mouth ulcers hurt.
Shoulder still aches.
Autumn encroaches.
OK. 11.47pm.

Monday 29th September 2025

Copied up notes from first two Waddy writing sessions. Hope the third one goes well tomorrow. Made a new morning pages book for Wednesday. Me and Jenni were supposed to be going out this evening, but my computer migration from Windows 10 to 11 is taking far longer than anticipated. Jenni is lying down now but might be back up in an hour or so to finish off installation. I'm no good with anything technical. I have been under the weather for over three weeks now. Don't know if I'll be quitting New College Durham or if I'll be able to come to some bureaucratic arrangement. This isn’t the autumn I anticipated. 11.53pm.


Tuesday 30th September 2025

Last day of the month, last day of running a workshop as a college employee. The Waddy writers don't know yet. Nor does the college. But the Waddy manager does. No more gruelling paperwork for this poet. No more jumping through hoops. No more online training. No more pretending to be something I'm not. The writing session was good this afternoon. And things will get better. I'm going to just go in with looser plans each week and see where the energy takes us. I drafted six vignettes today. I'm going to use the time I’d usually spend agonizing over unnecessary college paperwork just typing and submitting poems to magazines and anthologies. Tonight, I went out to get the porridge that I forgot to buy at teatime. I nearly bought sultanas by mistake. The nights are really cutting in now: dark just after seven. I won't be out on the bike very much. Hope I can still reach my goals. OK. 11.59pm.

 

AUGUST

Friday 1st August 2025

Good day. I got through a lot of editing. I did my Washington Writing Workshops invoice. I checked out the best Jack Ketchum books - but I didn't buy any; I have too much to read already. I was chuffed to get a pretty solid abdominal workout done this morning. Only exercise I stalled on was Seated Russian Twists, but I managed many more reps in 20 minutes than on previous days. I listened to Your Casket or Mine, Toyah, The Cure, bits of The Damned, REM and lots of Behemoth. I am taking tomorrow off to go to another unplugged acoustic music show. I still haven't ordered bike bags yet. Time is ticking. OK. 11.52pm.

Saturday 2nd August 2025

Great day out. A good look at the t-shirts in HMV and Damaged Society. Then invited to take part in a 'Quite Quiet' gig in the Tiny Toad pub in Heaton - maximum capacity: 15 people, including nine performers; eight of them shared one guitar and I used my books. The songs were great. Many thanks to Jonjo and Pabs. I saw new horror film Bring Her Back at Vue cinema in Gateshead tonight - a really messed-up scenario. Enjoyed it. OK. 11.50pm.


Sunday 3rd August 2025

11 stone 1 pound. I got up late and did some abdominal exercises. Fell asleep with a book in my hand. Had porridge with fruit for dinner. Adjusted my handlebars, brake levers and grips on the Rockhopper, then rode to Stanhope and back. New gears are slipping. First proper ride too. Shaun said they might. Just need adjusting again. I've checked out directions from Penrith to Garrigill. And then on to Consett. Bed early because I'm done in. 9.44pm.


Monday 4th August 2025

Tonight was my first opportunity to take a look at the Flash Fiction Festival footage. The first Kathy Fish workshop is top quality. Some of the readings from later that weekend have audio out of sync. Some of the clips are distorted, but lots will be useful. I will get a load of pics and clips but will need a couple of weeks to go through everything. I uploaded Poetry Jam stills this evening. And the book 'Clive Barker’s Dark Worlds' arrived: it is a super lavish coffee table tome with loads of full colour images - photos and paintings from Clive’s personal archive, with a career-spanning text from the authors and compilers Phil and Sarah Stokes. I'm chuffed with the way tomorrow’s writing workshop came together this afternoon. It's been a good day. 11.29pm.


Tuesday 5th August 2025

Indoor physical exercise naturally takes longer as I put in more reps. I didn't leave for Waddington Street Centre until eleven this morning. Distractions on the bus to Durham annoyed me. Even though I'm going to get off before the bus station, people doing likewise at various points along the route aggravated me and made concentrating on reading very difficult. I know that I'm a very insular person, and connection is often a struggle. I'm not socially inclined. I have goals and an agenda. Anything that doesn't assist in my goals is just an annoyance. Totally selfish. I will never be more than a sub-standard participant in the world… Today's workshop went well. I only used about a third of the prepared material. So now I won't have to prepare anything for next week. The wind is annoying. I hope to ride a bike tomorrow. 10.39pm.


Wednesday 6th August 2025

The lawnmower overheated long before I finished the job today. I just stopped for dinner till it recovered. The creeping blackberry vines needed pruning around the back door and window. The new Writing Magazine arrived. Great articles on horror flash fiction and autofiction. I took the Rockhopper into Bits4Bikes. Shaun informed me that it has ‘chain suck’ and needs a spacer between the crank arm and bottom bracket axle. I rode along the trail by the River Derwent to Shotley Bridge, then on the road to Chipchase, then followed some singletrack to Blackhall Mill. I rode up the bank on the road, turned left and went to Hamsterley Mill garage, turned right again up the road, and joined the Derwent Walk to ride home. I currently weigh 11 stone. I am quite chuffed. OK. 10.26pm.


Thursday 7th August 2025

Great night at Poetry Jam. All the guests were mint. I got a DIY one-off booklet from David Rutherford and a copy of Kirsten Luckins’s sci-fi pamphlet Off World as well. I was really tired before the gig but cakes from James Oates perked me up. It was good to see Hester Dowling deliver a full set. She says no one asks her. Well, hopefully they will now. Kirsten was on top form: lots of voices, lots of theatricality. The open floor readings were varied and strong. Ian Hart had Jenni creased, laughing at one of his parody songs. Chris Short read a mint poem about mental health. He's a top-notch rhymer. Aaron Wright did a poem. Jenni did a couple. Annie Moir was there too. It was really good night. Took me ages to get tidied up afterwards, but James Oates kindly gave me a lift home. 11.55pm.


Friday 8th August 2025

Clive Barker’s Books of Blood Omnibus Volume Two arrived. Different publisher from Volume One, but the same interior layout and the same format of cover with companion artwork. I handwrote a letter to Dave Rutherford about his poems. I spent a lot of time at the computer trying to complete college paperwork, but it's fucking excruciating. I'll be on until the 28th of August, I reckon, because I hate doing it so much and have to walk away every ten minutes. I've been listening to Venom and quite a lot of Darkthrone. I ordered bike bags for the Rockhopper and hope they’re okay to carry half my gear for the big ride. I got another prezzie for Jenni. My bottle of Cherry Active juice should arrive on Wednesday. The bike stuff should be here tomorrow afternoon. 11.02pm.


Saturday 9th August 2025

Tweaked a little poem this morning but I don't think people will like it. Tinkering on paper with stanzas like I did in my twenties rather than chopping prose narrative into neat lines. I got the Rockhopper back today and it is riding well. My bike bags and mudguards arrived for the C2C. Jenni and I watched the 1994 production of Cabaret starring Alan Cumming and Jane Horrocks. Brilliant. OK. 11.02pm.


Sunday 10th August 2025

Jenni and I had a big Sunday dinner ordered from a local eatery. Then we walked into town so I could get train tickets for Penrith. The weather will be good on Wednesday, so that's when I'm going to do a reccy. Big thanks to Jenni for help because I couldn't hear the staff at the station due to background noise. Likely Lads and Rising Damp on TV tonight. OK. 10.08pm.


Monday 11th August 2025

Got the equipment and clothes ready for Wednesday’s bike ride from Penrith to Consett. Only took an hour, but fitting a pair of mud guards was an absolute bastard. The front one fell off because it doesn't fit the fork properly. It fits on the Sonder fork but not the Rockhopper. I have zero tolerance for shit not doing what it was supposed to do. I didn't get the bike outside till half six, knowing that rain was forecast for seven. I burnt my right knee on a hot disc brake rotor whilst adjusting my front wheel. Then it pissed down. I didn't drop the bike off at Jen’s till half eight. I didn't get back home to Moorside on the bus till five past eleven. I initially left Jen’s at quarter to ten this morning. I hope Wednesday goes a lot better than today. 11.50pm.


Tuesday 12th August 2025

A noisy Metro carriage on a loop around the coast and back to Gateshead. The carriage has stopped next to a really fucking intense bright light. Lots of things interfere with me. More noise these days but I had a good workshop this afternoon, even if it was just me and Chris. SHUT YOUR CUNTING SHRIEKING MOUTHS ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT, YOU MORONS! IF SOMEONE WAS MURDERING YOU, NO-ONE WOULD PAY ATTENTION COZ YOU FUCKING SHRIEK AND BOIL PEOPLE'S PISS ALL THE CUNTING TIME! Anyway, as I was saying, Chris and I each wrote  6 or 7 pieces. I'm pretty chuffed with mine. Mostly fiction or about other people. I write enough about myself in the diary. I was a bit anxious today. I'm actually bricking it for the bike ride tomorrow. I hope it all goes okay. The buses were really fucking slow today. Road closures. An incident in Lanchester, which may or may not be drug-related. Tick Talk at Whitley Bay was ace tonight. Lots of great speakers, stories, poems, songs, and lectures. Jenni did a piece about trains. Rachel Lydon talked about living in the moment. Aaron did his Bubbles poem. Gaeran did a moon poem and played Knocking on Heaven's Door. I had to get away sharpish, though, for the ride back to Gateshead. Hope I sleep better tonight. OK. 9.44pm.

Wednesday 13th August 2025

Didn't sleep well last night. Or the night before. So I wasn't in the best of states to be pedalling a bicycle from Penrith to Castleside. I've been super anxious about it for months. People in Penrith were helpful, got me out to Beacon Edge. The C2C route is much better signposted around Penrith than over my way. I had a couple of wobbles. I think those were due to the heat. Jenni says the temperature was five degrees higher than forecast. She was worried about me. A couple of times, I had to just lie down on a patch of grass till the queasy feeling passed. I rode the proper route and didn't do any uphill pushing. Although I did stop twice mid-climb because I felt a bit dizzy, but I pedalled up all. I had a celebratory ice cream at Hartside Summit. Chuffed. If I do the whole C2C, I'll need to arrive in Whitehaven the day before I intend to ride. 11.45pm.


Thursday 14th of August 2025

Awake early. Wrote some messages to Tony Gadd about C2C. And to Brother Mark about trials biking. Had a long lie-in. No physical exercise before breakfast. Yesterday was more than enough to last me a week, but I'll be doing some tomorrow. I've done little but sleep and look at C2C possibilities for a week or two from now. This afternoon, I caught a bus to Consett, bought food, and some bits-and-bobs to attach a front mudguard to the Rockhopper more securely. I booked another guest for Poetry Jam. I ate a beef steak with salad. My backside is a bit sore, but it was that way even before the ride. I slept a bit more this evening. I’ve done little else. Drank some Cherry Active juice and will soon be in bed. Hope I can keep my momentum and achieve my goals this year. 10.07pm.


Friday 15th August 2025

Not fucking happy. All set to book hotels and travel to do C2C next weekend, but it would appear that I may have a hernia just above the groin. And the trouble with reading up on the internet about any ailment is that you think you’re dying. It could be nothing. I feel sick when I look at it. Am I feeling nauseous cause of the hernia, or because I might have to cancel plans? I don't like the idea of being cut and prodded. I don't like the idea of losing the rest of the riding season on the Sonder and Rockhopper. I'm really fucking annoyed. And I can't see a local GP till next week. The weather in Cumbria is forecast to be good for riding from 22nd August. My personal outlook isn’t so sunny. 11.05pm.

Saturday 16th August 2025

The local pharmacy put me in touch with the hospital. They can't say until they’ve seen me, but I've likely got a hernia. And will need an operation at some point. I spoke to my stepdad, Ernie, and he also seems to think what I described is a hernia. No more bikes, possibly. I'm not happy about this, obviously. Not after such intense focus and devoting a month to it. Really disappointing. 10.30pm.


Sunday 17th August 2025

Examined by two doctors this morning. First wasn't sure that inflammation is a hernia, second said it is. Both said I could keep biking in moderation. I wanted to go out on the Sonder bike, but I'm too tired. I'm okay for a few hours, then I'm zonked. I wrapped up Jenni’s birthday presents this evening. Had a beef steak salad, then nodded off again. Maybe the heat. 9.23pm.


Monday 18th August 2025

At Moorside surgery this morning. I felt really stressed and thought I was going to meltdown in the waiting room. The doctor is referring me for a hernia operation. It could be about 18 weeks. I asked about safe exercises but was told to ask the surgeon. So basically, life on hold until I get the hole sewn up? I don't think so. I had a ride on the Sonder bike down by the Derwent this afternoon. Cleaning pretty much all favourite terrain as well as, and in some cases better than, last month. I felt much better after the ride. I've ordered an inguinal hernia belt in hopes of stopping my gut from falling out and becoming strangulated. I'm going to try easy gears again on the Rockhopper next weekend. Tonight, I got the Poetry Jam event page sorted and a bit more of the college paperwork done. I watched a route cam video of Whitehaven to Keswick. Mostly on cycle paths and country lanes. But we'll see how things go. 11.34pm.


Tuesday 19th August 2025

Out at ten this morning. Read a lot of fiction writing exercises on the bus to Durham. The session didn't take much prepping. I spent more time making a map of the C2C from Whitehaven to Keswick. I  chatted with Ali and Dave this lunchtime about hernias. Ali has one. Dave says it's a risk to ride in the middle of nowhere on a bike with a bad abdomen. I'm really pissed off about it, but I had a good workshop with the Waddy people, mostly fiction. Afterwards, I got the bus to Bensham, slept some of the way to Jen's. I gave her a bag of presents, then we watched TV because Jen didn't want to go outside again after a big weekend. Queen Freddie Mercury auction, two episodes of The IT crowd, some Dave Gorman, and Horrible Histories. Really tired. Some queasy wobbles today. Lots of tremors, shakes, pins and needles. Bit of a stress headache. Not much more to add. Hope for better days ahead. 10.31pm.


Wednesday 20th August 2025

Bit of a lie-in at Jen's this morning. My pages were a run-through of the dilemma of hernia and riding. I sent pages to Tony Gadd, who very kindly outlined similar restrictions to his own activities from back in the day. Jenni and I went into Gateshead for supplies. I ate two tins of tuna with cucumber, mushrooms, and red pepper. If I’d been at home, there’d be grapes as well. This afternoon we watched a load of Classic Coronation Street. I left after a pasta tea. Stopped off in Tesco to get more supplies. Been trying out a hernia belt. Weighed the two bags I carried (21Ibs) and had supper. Worked out miles to ride if possible tomorrow. My right hand is being a bastard. Carpal tunnel crap. At present, I don't really want to do much of anything. But I'll have to make the effort. It's forecast to rain for three days. 0K. 11.44pm.


Thursday 21st August 2025

Great to get out on the Rockhopper bike. I rode to Bishop Auckland and back, then up to Parkhead Station and back home. The right leg is holding up okay. I stopped every hour for 15 minutes. I got back home around twenty to eight, having left the house at five minutes to midday. I took five short breaks. So, six and a half hours in the saddle for 66 miles. And an hour and a quarter of not riding. I think that's pretty good. I managed to stick to the Get Directions average time for much of it. I had a bath with Epsom salts. Had tuna and chilli beans. Then pineapple. A cheese and tomato sandwich. A glass of Cherry Active. Hopefully, I'll get over to Allenheads and back tomorrow. Which is about 40 miles. Maybe I can add another fifteen somehow. Then Saturday should be less busy. OK. 10.25pm.


Friday 22nd August 2025

Today was a good day. I rode to Parkhead, dropped into Stanhope, then along to Eastgate. And over to Rookhope. Then a long climb to the top of the five-mile hill before dropping into Allenheads. I stayed there thirty-five minutes. Ate a Moroccan Vegetable pasty. Showed a hiker some leg stretches. Then did a seventeen-minute moderate climb on granny-ring gearing back out of Allenheads and free-wheeled for fifteen minutes back down to Rookhope. Continued out to Eastgate. Back to Stanhope. Twenty-eight-minute climb up Crawleyside bank to Parkhead. Then a fast ride off the moor to Consett, then down to Annfield Plain and back to add more miles. Sixty-one in total, on top of yesterday's sixty-odd miles. I stopped every hour for fifteen minutes to do hand and leg stretches, except near the end of the day. I'm getting the fear now about how roadworthy the bike is, despite a superb service from Bits4Bikes. So many ‘what ifs’. Bath and chicken salad. Cherry Active juice. Mile calculations. In bed now. 10.27pm.


Saturday 23rd August 2025

Up early, morning pages, then started in on breakfast. Got a bit of RSI in the left hand, which is trying to scupper my biking plans. But I said Fuck That! My final of three training days, and so I rode to Washington and back one-handed on a fully loaded Rockhopper. Shaun at Bits4Bikes helped me out with the front brake adjustment. I ate a big chicken salad, then got ready to go to Jen’s place. Chats, cake, Cherry Active juice. Good. 10.14pm.


Sunday 24th August 2025

Big help today from Jenni booking my accommodation for next weekend’s bike ride. And encouragement from Tony Gadd. I’ve covered about 160 miles over three days. I’m as good as I’m gonna be this year. Jenni and I went to see ‘Six’ in the cinema, but I fell asleep for most of it. The bit I saw was great. Tonight we watched the film Calvary and 'That’s Rock' music videos. OK. 10.45pm.


Monday 25th August 2025

I was really aggravated on the bus to Consett today. Someone's kid screamed from Newcastle to Chopwell. I felt like going downstairs to ask why the mother didn't try to do something about it. I am liable to get punched one of these days. I did more college paperwork this evening. I think it's pretty much done except for photocopying, which I'll do on Thursday morning. My left palm started tingling again after wringing out a shirt that I washed in the sink. I've tried to rest my hand since last Friday. Besides a little ride to Jen’s on Wednesday, I won't be riding the Rockhopper till Sunday. I'm taking it to Whitehaven on Saturday. I reckon 10 miles an hour should get me back to Penrith in about seven and a half hours, including rest stops. 11.17pm.


Tuesday 26th August 2025

Good day at Waddy. I made a map for day-one of the C2C bike ride. Whitehaven to Penrith. Then started photocopying final College papers. Still a bit to do on Thursday before the pre-term meeting with the Outreach manager. This afternoon, I had a great final summer session with a couple of the Waddy writers. We warmed up with A2Z stories, then a version of word bank stepping stones, and pass-the-prompt exercises. Everybody wrote good stuff. Some pieces were rhymes, some were free verse. All of mine were flash fiction. A few of them went down really well. I bought my train ticket for Whitehaven. Much easier to do in Durham than the traumatic transaction in the bedlam of Newcastle Central station earlier this month. Ate another chicken salad. Uploaded the Poetry Jam pics tonight. Watched a Brett Anderson (Suede) interview. And some C2C route footage on YouTube. 11.10pm.


Wednesday 27th August 2025

Got the bike down to Jen's with no problems this morning. Weather forecast for Cumbria this weekend looks utter shit. It's the wind strength that's the real bastard. 42kmh. I anticipate a strong soaking on Sunday and Monday. I stayed at Jen’s for a couple of hours, then we walked into Gateshead. I got an X70 bus that took a fucking hour to get to Consett. Add time from Newcastle, and ‘Express’ is a fantasy. This evening, I had a beef steak with my salad. Very nice. I worked out how long it's likely to take me to ride from Whitehaven to Sunderland. It's a lot of time, energy, and money – just to get pissed on for three days. But hopefully the 'showers' will be brief. I'm at Waddy tomorrow for a college meeting. Then off to Baltic Art Gallery for the ‘Words on a NE Street’ homelessness anthology launch. OK.10.44pm.


Thursday 28th August 2025

Got the rest of my college paperwork photocopied this morning. Attended a meeting about new paperwork this afternoon. You’re quiet, Steve, one of the Waddy tutors said. Yeah, I’m frightened to speak in case I lose my temper. And to a certain extent, I did. Saying “If I get any hassle next term, I’m leaving!” probably wasn’t the best way to break my silence. I’m done with hoop jumping… On a more positive note, the ‘Words on a NE Street’ event at Baltic Art Gallery this evening was superb. A great range of voices expressing various perspectives on homelessness. There was live music too. It was great to be involved. Thanks to Steve Wood for the lift home, and to Melanie for the musical reminiscences. I had a little cheese and tomato sandwich for supper. Soon to bed. OK. 10.37pm.


Friday 29th August 2025

I didn't get much done today. But I did manage to buy a ticket to see Suede at York Barbican next February. The Newcastle date clashes with another event, and I've never been to a gig at the Barbican. I said last year I'd love to see Suede. They might be the last rock band I get to see. York is now sold out. As are three other dates. I've spent most of the day prepping maps and other info for the weekend ride from Whitehaven. I am absolutely bricking it. I hope the bike is okay. I hope I'm okay. I doubt the weather will stay nice. I came over to Jen's place mid-evening. I still have to repack my bag. And hopefully whittle down its weight a bit. I’ll be in bed in Whitehaven by this time tomorrow. OK. 10.17pm.


Saturday 30th August 2025

Good sleep. Only woke once before half six. Trains to Carlisle and Whitehaven were great. No problem getting the bike on. I found the harbour quite easily but managed to miss the slipway. I asked for directions to Inkerman Terrace for the Chase hotel. Bike storage is indoors. Went out twice on foot for a reccy. It rained both times. Wind speed is 42 kmh. I hope things ease a bit tomorrow. Eaten a lot of chicken. Going to bed soon. OK. 9.27pm.

Sunday 31st August 2025

Can't sleep. Went to bed around ten. Woke at quarter to twelve. Went to the toilet. Back to bed. Slept till quarter past two. Think I've been awake on and off since then. About five o’clock, I got a niggling pain above the left side of my groin. I'm hoping it isn't another hernia. I've had no problems with this side at all. I've had no problems with my stomach all week. Yesterday I forgot all about the hernia. The weather is shit and forecast to be rainy on and off all day. The bike is sorted. I've been well fed and should be rested. If I'm going to get through this, I need to go slowly. I checked out the start of the route again last night. I saw blue sky for a little while, but by the time I reached the harbour, it was pissing down again with a 42kmh wind just to annoy me. Maybe I'm an irresponsible arsehole for attempting this bike ride. I did 160 miles last weekend, no problem. My bag is too heavy. Carrying water is a pain. I will try to get by food-wise on Nutri-Grain bars and bananas. And hopefully the cooked breakfast will do me good before I set off. I didn't hear any wind or rain until about an hour ago. I've heard cars coming and going. Around five o'clock this morning, I started to hear movement in neighbouring rooms. I should jot down the names and numbers of some taxi firms before I leave, in case I need them. I really hope that I can do this ride. The fear is kicking in. I was alright till I felt that glitch in my left side. It might be okay. My left wrist has been okay all week, but carrying a small cardboard tray of items in a supermarket yesterday set it off tingling again. I've been chatting with Jenni online. Today I'll be on my own. I had to copy out the instructions on how to use the mobile phone because I couldn't remember them. I aim to be dipping my back wheel in the slipway at Whitehaven harbour around nine, but it will probably be a bit later. I don't feel like packing up until after breakfast. All I can do is go slow and hope to survive the ordeal of wind and rain. Why is the weather being such a cunt after weeks of decent days? Maybe it's like this near the coast all the time. I'm struggling. I wish I'd slept better. I hear noises that could be wind or passing traffic. I think it's the wind. If it were just light rain, that would be okay. If it were just wind, that would be okay. But high wind with rain is like pedalling into the wide spray of a garden hose. I was going to say water cannon, but that's probably a little extreme. Part of me just wants to get breakfast and go back to the train station or get a taxi to Penrith, stay the night, and get a train home tomorrow morning. I am an idiot, am I not? Maybe I need to start feeling positive about this in the next couple of hours. The curtains are still closed. But it's light outside. I will peer out in about ten minutes when I finish the next page. Maybe these body twitches are just more of my fears. I didn't think I'd feel like this today. I hope I'm okay. I hope I don't have to call for help. I hope I don't have to stop. I hope I don't collapse. All negatives. I hope I stay happy. I hope the sun comes out. I hope I find energy and serendipity at every turn. I hope someone gets a shot of me with my back wheel in the water. I hope I can sit and just pedal or freewheel, hour after hour. I aim to try. I aim to succeed. I need to do this. I always wake up with doubts and fears. Work, money, capability. Every day of the last training sessions, I felt unable to commit and thought it was all a really stupid idea. I aim to match the times that Google says are respectable for the route. I have all the breakdown sections strapped to my bars on a bit of card, waterproofed with clear tape. I secured the front mudguard with more black electrical tape last night. I want to be able to do the ride. I've done 160 miles. More than enough. I will try to stay on course. Breakfast isn't for another two hours. I might go back to bed for an hour after this page. I might go round to the front door and see how things seem outside. If I can make it to Penrith without any major incident, I should be okay. I aim to just ride as slowly as I can without aggravating my arms or stomach. I have bananas, an orange, and five Nutri-Grain bars. More than 1000 calories. I will see how I am when I reach a food outlet. Surely, I've got more than enough to get me to Keswick. Wind, rain, hernia, carpal tunnel, neurosis. And a desire to see this thing through so that I never have to attempt anything like it again. Survival and triumph. Enjoyment would be a bonus. 6.18am.

LATER: Awake a few times in the night. Anxious. Breakfast was served at half eight. It was nearly ten before I dipped my back wheel in the Irish Sea. The forecast was for high wind. At times, I was blown uphill. Kirkland to Keswick was my favourite part. Keswick to Penrith has lots of long roads. I got to the George Hotel at quarter to six. Had a chip-shop supper and a hot bath. OK. 10.05pm.

...............................

Postscript: The second day, Monday 1st September, started fine. I only referred to my map once. I made it up all the hills but got thoroughly drenched between Garrigill and Allenheads. I decided at that point I was going to push on with fewer rest stops and just try to ride all the way to Roker before dusk. The sun came out before I reached Consett, and I dried out long before I reached Sunderland.

It could be seen as an act of recklessness to ride with a hernia and no support team, but the alternative was to cancel the ride altogether. I figured any physical discomfort I might experience due to attempting the C2C would be far outweighed by the blow to my mental health if I let a hernia keep me off bikes for the rest of the season and possibly the next six months.

I dipped my front wheel in the sea at Roker and asked a passing stranger to take a photo of the Rockhopper next to the 'C' portal sculpture with me wearing a black t-shirt hastily pulled over my Pack-a-Mac. The words on the front: NEVER GIVE UP.

Thanks for reading.

JULY

Tuesday 1st July 2025

It's International Zine Month, but there's little chance of Steve making and publishing anything this month. It took me 12 hours to transfer notes from Facebook to my hard drive. I haven't been across the doorstep. I feel like I've got a bit of a cold coming on, but it might be pollen allergy. I didn't try anything too strenuous today. I've listened to Venom, Marissa and the Moths, Behemoth, and Suede. Eclectic, if nothing else. I still weigh 11 stone 6 pounds, which is great. But want to get down to 11 stone 3 pounds. That will be a loss of two stones since 7th April. It would be great to do it by next Monday. But without some strenuous physical exercise and skipping a meal or three, I don't see how it will be possible. 10.55pm.

Wednesday 2nd July 2025

Torrential rain prevented me from visiting Bits 4 Bikes this afternoon to start getting the Rockhopper roadworthy for the C2C. My left wrist hasn't been so much trouble today. Soon Will Come Thunder, my July 2023 pamphlet, tells me I had RSI that month, too. Possibly due to making runs of three different pamphlets in a month… Today I read some of ‘Notes from Underground: Zines and the Politics of Alternative Culture’ by Stephen Duncombe, did abdominal exercises, had a tuna salad for tea, cheese sandwich for supper. 10.51pm.

Thursday 3rd July 2025

Took my big list of repairs and modifications for the Rockhopper to Bits 4 Bikes. Didn't get back home till twelve. The buses were shit this morning and again this afternoon, so I didn't get to Waddington Street Centre until twenty to five. Setting up for Poetry Jam wasn't too difficult. We had a canny crowd in tonight. The open-floor poets were great as usual. All the guests were on form. Paul Sta was funny and did great intros to everything. Liz Haynes' book contains hardcore poems about farming life; her delivery really hit home. James Oates did a generous set of mostly new material, but a couple of poems from open-floor visits. A new book is surely long overdue. My pocket camcorder needs a new memory card. I bought one this morning, but it doesn't work. Jenni and I got a train back to Newcastle, then walked to Bensham. Thanks to James Oates for a magnificent steak pie. Thanks to Tony Gadd for the ‘Inquire Within’ poetry book. Thanks to all who come to Poetry Jam. Thanks to Waddy for the ace venue. 12.23am.

Friday 4th July 2025

Good to see a couple of Black Sabbath documentaries tonight. One was an overview of the band, including various post-Ozzy line-ups and changes in musical direction. One was an episode of Classic Albums featuring Paranoid. I had a big steak pie about one o’clock this morning, so I tried to cut back on the food for the rest of the day. Mainly just tuna, fruit salad, bit of Christmas cake. I've had a pain-free day as far as the wrist is concerned. I ordered a copy of Anthony Bray’s ‘View From The Metal Throne’ book about Venom. 9.37pm.

Saturday 5th July 2025

Canny day in Newcastle. Bought a pair of trousers and a long-sleeved top for a fiver. Saw some good books, including Defying Gravity: The Jordan Story and a Clive Barker coffee table book of art and insights. Also saw lots of music albums I'd like, but I've got enough. Packed up all my work stuff at Jen’s and got home around six. Tried to watch a 50p horror DVD with dolls in it, but fell asleep. Mixed online reactions to the Ozzy/Sabbath gig. 10.40pm.

Sunday 6th July 2025

If I lose another two pounds, I'll be two stone lighter than three months ago. Did some back-stretching exercises, read some poems and prose, and listened to a two-hour Jeff Mantas (Venom) interview. I've had a chicken salad and other smaller meals. Checked out Joan Johnson's poetry manuscript. OK. 10.43pm.

Monday 7th July 2025

Too many gaps in the diary. I've written more in rough books than directly to hardback, and it's all to copy up before the end of the year. Good ride on the Sonder trail bike this morning. Cleaned some little sections: exit climb off the bridge at Shotley, over rocky steps out onto the road. Front wheel ledge-drop into a stream, and out again. Up off a wooden bridge, over a log, tight right turn, then up a dusty slope onto the trail near Moorside… I've started taking poems and prose for the next Washington anthology. I've formatted a preliminary poetry-pamphlet layout for Joan Johnston. I’ve exercised with some light free weights. My left wrist seems to be holding up okay. I'm loving Lou Reed’s ‘The Blue Mask’ album. 11.00pm.

 

Tuesday 8th July 2025

Posted Joan a mock-up of her pamphlet plus examples of mine. Borrowed ‘Invisible Girl’ by Lisa Jewell from the library. One of the characters is having a rough time, and I've warmed to the book this evening. I went over to the quarry where I used to train for trials in the noughties. Sad to see all the lines and slabs of rock I used to ride now obstructed by big bushes and tall trees. So much erosion and mud, it's not worth taking a bike there now. Just as well I’ve got access to some mint trails down by the riverside. 11.20pm.

 

Wednesday 9th July 2025

Prepared for Friday's Washington Writers session. Mowed grass. Read more of ‘Invisible Girl’ by Lisa Jewell and sorted some logistics for the Bristol trip and C2C. The latter might not happen if I can't get enough back-to-back days for training before the end of August. I listened to a Jeff Mantis reworking of the Venom classic ‘Witching Hour’ tonight, some Judas Priest songs and a couple of Behemoth tracks, followed by a bit of Lou Reed. I'm still eating salads, still a couple of pounds shy of losing two stone. 10.21pm.

 

Thursday 10th July 2025

Disappointing day. Three hours trying to level out the dirt behind a fallen tree so I could step the bike up and onto the trail – but when I returned tonight with the bike, I got stuck because of two upright branches. I was too tired after about 10 attempts to hop my Sonder Frontier through a tiny gap, so I just returned home defeated. I double-checked my workshop handouts for Washington. Today has been a bit too hot. Tinnitus raging tonight. 11.26pm.

 

Friday 11th July 2025

Too hot to do much tonight. I tried to get an hour of sleep after tea so I could wake refreshed and read, but I still nodded off mid-sentence and ended up dreaming things completely unrelated to the narrative in my hands. Wilting at 23 degrees. The workshop seemed to go okay today. Eight people in. I quite candidly said at the start that I'm self-indulgently picking exercises from my own poems and favourite sessions. We each did six pieces of writing. Big Thanks to Alwyn Bathan for the ride to Gateshead. Later, in Consett, I stocked up on veg and tuna. I popped into Bits 4 Bikes. Got a quote for the work required. I’ll take the Rockhopper in as soon as possible, but I'm toying with another Sunderland ride tomorrow. 9.57pm.

Saturday 12th July 2025

The weather held, and so did my puny wrists. Since starting more intensive abdominal exercises, I've got a wee bit more core strength. I've started riding cycle paths with my back straight, head up, looking forward, rather than at my front tire. There's very little weight on my hands. 54 miles to Roker beach and back to Moorside. Some of the C2C signage is sadly lacking. But no matter, I had a good ride. 8.32pm.

Sunday 13th July 2025

Out with Jenni to buy things for her mam’s birthday. We had a meal in an Indian restaurant with Hillary and John, then drinks at the Station East pub. Tonight I ate chicken sandwiches. It's sweltering again today. I'm still tired after biking yesterday. 11.17pm.

 

Monday 14th July 2025

Jenni helped me out with bits and pieces for my Bristol trip. We watched the first of three ‘Live Aid at 40’ programmes, then the Psychoville Halloween special to lighten the mood a bit, then another from Live Aid. I read a bit of a New York Times interview in which Bob Geldof said it would never happen now because everyone has their very own little internet bubble, and no one gets real news. I read from a 2015 copy of Poor Lass zine (that Jenni picked up recently in London) on the bus back to Consett. The zine contained articles about health, and those unable to afford good dental care or psychotherapy. Back home, I discovered I've gained four pounds in weight since Saturday afternoon. I read some student poems by a writer concerned about performing them in public. Am I allowed supper? OK. 10.13pm.

 

Tuesday 15th July 2025

Morning pages. Email checks. Stationary purchases. Prep for Bristol Flash Fiction Festival. Thanks to Jude Higgins for travel advice. Thanks to Shaun at Bits 4 Bikes for help with the Rockhopper. 10.59pm.

Wednesday 16th July 2025

I printed out five little selection pamphlets of the readings taking place at the Flash Fiction Festival this weekend. About 70 to 80 pages of stories were sent to attendees. I'll get a lot more out of the evenings having all the work to hand. I spent most of the afternoon packing and checking my lists. It's only two-and-a-half days, but I seem to be taking a hell of a lot of clothes. I voiced in my notes tonight and watched one of the bonus features on the Hellraiser DVD. Unfortunately, it cut out before the end, but I think it's on YouTube… This time tomorrow night, I'll be off to Newcastle to start my big journey. 11.07pm.

 

Thursday 17th July 2025

The one time I take a genuine interest in a football match, it's two-all at extra time, going into a penalty shootout – and I need to leave after the first goal to get a bus across the water to Newcastle for the overnight coach to London. I am looking forward to the Flash Fiction Festival in Bristol this weekend, but I'm wondering, who won the footy, Sweden or England? The Manchester coach is late. I hope the London one is okay. I hope to get a good seven hours of sleep overnight. 11.15pm

 

Friday 18th July 2025

After a thirty-minute delay in London this morning, I made it to Trinity College in Bristol with help from a fellow Flash Fiction Festival participant and a Royal Mail postwoman. I enjoyed Kathy Fish’s three-hour workshop. I read one of my drafts and got a good response. Kathy said I write really dark. I filmed a lot of stuff coz my memory is so poor. I enjoyed the anthology readings tonight, but after a 12-hour journey, I needed to get back to the halls of residence for sleep. I think I may have overeaten a bit: I had fruit for breakfast, an all-day breakfast in a Bristol café at twelve, and a chicken curry at Trinity after the workshop, but I'll be okay… I've done some abdominal exercises, I've been in touch with Jenni, I've got the windows open, and I'll be sleeping on top of the duvet, but I want another drink of water first. 10.34pm.

 

Saturday 19th July 2025

Absolutely smashed tonight. Twelve hours of flash fiction today. Great to meet Nancy Stohlman and hubby Jamil. Also, David Swann and Tim Craig, along with lots of other nice people. I ate lots of good food and will pay dearly for being a glutton, for sure. I got a lot more video footage and wrote another couple of pieces today. Thanks to Jude Higgins for feedback on Teenage Bangles written in her session at nine o’clock this morning. Good to meet KM Elkes as well. And to sit in on a novella-in-flash discussion hosted by Michael Loveday this afternoon. Also to participate in a Damian Dressick workshop. Chuffed to get his book signed. Also, David’s and Tim’s. 10.34pm.

 

Sunday 20th July 2025

I came away from Bristol Flash Fiction Festival a little bit early. I was whacked before the final day even started. The three workshops today felt more like lessons on a university course; a completely different vibe to yesterday, and for that reason, I struggled with them. Even Kathy Fish, whose Friday session had the element of performance with prompts, seemed more academic. Michael Loveday is deeply committed to his subject matter and is probably the leading figure on the concept of novella-in-flash, but I just wasn't functioning by three o’clock this afternoon. I left before the raffle draw in the dining room. I had a three-hour wait in Bristol for the coach to Birmingham. The waiting lounge here in Birmingham is spacious, and the coach departures are clearly stated. Mine is due in 35 minutes at half ten. I've had some great highlights: this morning, Tim Craig asked me to sign one of my books; this afternoon, I spoke to Vanessa Gebbie; and Damian Dressick stopped me in the corridor and said he liked my stuff. I wrote a couple more pieces today. I heard some great ideas. I just didn't get enough sleep last night, which is my own fault for eating way too much food. My diet is probably fucked, but I have loads of flash fiction books to read and a bunch of workshops on video. I aim to submit all the pieces I wrote this weekend to the Flash Fiction Festival anthology. Thanks to all the great people who spoke to me this weekend, especially Tim Craig and David Swann, who both bought Laughter to Split Glass – selling two poetry books at a flash fiction event is an achievement, I reckon. Well chuffed. OK. 10.03pm.

 

Monday 21st July 2025

I got into Newcastle at 25 past five this morning. I did morning pages at Jen’s around six, then got into bed. We chatted, mostly about the festival. I got up for a couple of hours but went back to bed after breakfast till eleven. We watched classic Emmerdale and Corrie this afternoon. Jenni transferred all the festival files to a new USB stick for me, all 58GB of them, about 10 or 12 hours, probably more. The last of three buses broke down tonight, so I dragged the wheelie case from The Grove to Moorside. I’m chuffed with all the new flash fiction books. 11.45pm.

 

Tuesday 22nd July 2025

Had a good chat with Ali today about the Waddy Writers and challenges faced regarding hard-to-motivate people. I did a canny two-hour session, but it wasn’t very well attended. Mainly just recap exercises as a warm-up for the summer. Afterwards, I got some half-marathon booklet covers printed, then a very slow bus ride to Consett. I read a few Tim Craig short stories today, but found it hard to concentrate on the bus. I will reread several times in the coming days. In Tesco, I saw a Facebook friend whom I haven’t spoken to face-to-face for 37 years. We chatted a good while in the bread aisle. It was good to see her. I came home and ate a chicken salad. Pleased I've only put on a pound or two. Very sad to hear that Ozzy Osbourne died today. I was thinking about him on Sunday evening as the coach pulled into Birmingham. I've listened to Ozzy and Sabbath sporadically since I was eleven or twelve years old. Such a shame to go so soon after his final gig. 10.32pm.

 

Wednesday 23rd July 2025

I've been on a bit of a go-slow since I got back from Bristol. Lethargic till midday. Then all afternoon into evening to make a dozen booklets and get prompts ready for Friday’s writing half-marathon. I've been reading more bits about Ozzy online. And some bits of flash fiction, particularly Tim Craig's stories from his ‘Now You See Him’ collection. He posted an ace photo on Facebook from the Flash Fiction Festival that he took onstage… I weighed 11 stone 4 pounds this morning. I've not been on a bike for over a week. 10.52pm.

 

Thursday 24th July 2025

So many gaps. The most concerning is the 15mm-wide hole in the brickwork by the front door. The wall is crawling with ants, coming and going, halfway up the side of the house. A moment’s pause. Then back indoors for a big can of bug spray. It seems to do little. But hours later – maybe just the drop in temperature – and the legion of ants is no more. And this particular gap, for the moment, is no longer a problem…

Today I was informed that I won a raffle prize at the Flash Fiction Festival and could I send a postal address. I wrote back with a thank-you and feedback. I did Poetry Jam publicity. I had a couple of hours out on the Sonder bike tonight. I watched a clip of Tony Iommi talking about the loss of Ozzy Osbourne, and I read some Kathy Fish stories online. OK. 9.50pm.

 

Friday 25th July 2025

Canny little writing half-marathon at Arts Centre Washington today. We did six rounds of writing and readbacks. Some great pieces produced. Big thanks to the writers. Big thanks to those who give me end-of-term chocolates and cards. Also, big thanks to Alwyn Bathan for the lift to Metro Centre. Back home, I ate a chicken salad, answered an e-mail, then out for This Be The Verse spoken word event. The bus was cancelled, but I had a good walk instead. Top turns on the open floor and two cracking guests: Gary the Hat and Sikander Jai. I entered the ‘definition’ competition, wrote three words and won five books. Many thanks to Mel and Steve Wood. I also got to see the Life on a NE Street anthology, which I shall be purchasing copies of at the Gateshead Baltic launch event on Thursday 28th August. Nice walk home. Chicken sandwich. Hope to bike tomorrow. OK. 11.05pm.

 

Saturday 26th July 2025

This morning, I felt very lethargic, but a phone call from Shaun at Bits 4 Bikes informing me that the Rockhopper is ready for collection got me out of the house. New bars, stem, grips, chain, chainrings, front derailleur, cassette, gear cables, and rear disc brake rotor. This afternoon I saw Amelia Coburn play a free short set on the BBC Proms ‘Introducing’ stage at The Glasshouse in Gateshead. She signed a copy of her debut album Between the Moon and the Milkman for me. This evening, I saw Renata Connors and Your Casket or Mine play unplugged sets at Lovaine Community Garden in North Shields. Mint gig. Found a pound on the pavement in Gateshead. OK. 10.48pm.

 

Sunday 27th July 2025

Mostly just listening to music on the radio and reading a few pages of ‘Stage Invasion: The Spoken Word Renaissance’ by Pete Bearder. Later, Jenni made a lush veggie curry, and we watched the England vs Spain Euro Women's football final. Listened to a Radio 2 Rock Show Ozzy tribute. OK. 10.45pm.

 

Monday 28th July 2025

Listened to the radio and watched reruns of Emmerdale and Coronation Street. I enjoyed an episode of Midsomer Murders, the first one I've ever seen. Got the 715pm bus back to Consett. I nipped into Tesco for tinned tuna, bananas, Warburton Thins, peanuts and red peppers. Consett Tesco never has Moroccan Vegetable or Bombay Potato and Spinach pasties. I read a bit of Apartment 16 by Adam Neville tonight. I am impressed by the ability to create atmosphere and setting capable of drawing you in, but can I commit to reading a 40O-page novel in summer? I want to read ‘View from The Metal Throne’ by former Venom drummer Tony Bray. And ‘Defying Gravity: The Jordan Story’ by Cathi Unsworth. OK. 11.05pm.

 

Tuesday 29th July 2025

I started reading a little book called ‘The Possession’ by French Nobel Prize-winning author Annie Ernaux on the bus to Durham. A short memoir of jealousy and obsession. Only 44 pages of first-person paragraphs. Almost a novella-in-flash but with untitled sections throughout… Waddy session was good today: Absurd Words, First Times, Objects and Lies, Emotional Resonance of days, Creative Wish Lists, Blessings… I finished ‘The Possession’ tonight in Consett library because the book was due back with a waiting list. Can’t remember details, but was taken by the candid voice, page layout, and brevity. I didn't get home till after eight. I spent a long while in Tesco. Got the 7.57pm bus home with all my clobber. I ate a meal consisting of two tins of tuna with half a tin of barbecued beans, followed by a slice of pineapple, then peanuts and sultanas. I checked out videos from American trials/trails bike legend Jeff Lenosky. Still pedalling through rock gardens and getting up big boulders in his fifties. I'm in bed early so I can put in a good day of admin tomorrow. Might read for a while, though. 10.08pm.

 

Wednesday 30th July 2025

Didn’t finish abdominal exercises till half ten this morning. 11 stone 2 pounds on the scales. Only a few nuts, sultanas, and a slice of pineapple for breakfast; tuna and more peanuts for dinner. This afternoon, I watched Ozzy’s final journey through the city of Birmingham online ahead of his private Buckinghamshire funeral tomorrow. Then I worked on some pamphlet edits for Joan Johnston. I ordered some tickets for WRITE Festival workshops taking place from the end of August through to mid-September at THE WORD in South Shields. And I ordered Clive Barker’s Dark Worlds, an illustrated retrospective hardback coffee table book. I wanted to bike tonight but stayed in to make vocal entries from my diary for this blog. Knocked off when the mobile’s battery ran low. I listened to Amelia Coburn’s debut album, ‘Between The Moon and the Milkman’. I’m tired and hope the weather holds in the morning so I can ride. 10.50pm.

 

Thursday 31st July 2025

Transferred files and Messenger text, but otherwise just a couple of hours on the Sonder bike down by the Derwent. I watched a couple of Clive Barker interviews and a Jack Ketchum interview. But otherwise, really slow. Forgot to do an invoice, forgot to sort a saddle bag and bar bag. Feel wrecked. If I don’t get to bed soon, I’m going to be sick. I want a big lie-in tomorrow. I’m going nowhere. I want to read some flash fiction and work on my own stuff. I have lots to get through. I hope I can still ride the bike long-distance the week after next. I won’t get a distance ride till Sunday. I don’t want to do a lot. Sometimes I want to jack in writing altogether, but the mood will pass. 9.51pm.