Festive Stress

Monday 11th December 2017

Tidied myself up for a ride into Consett with Mam and Ernie. The big Barry’s Bargains mission resulted in much of the store ending up in the boot of the car. Took some presents to my sister’s house… Got back a little after two. Bit of a headache for remainder of the day. Tried to work, tried to read. Not much success. Long Facebook chat with Jenni; she has interviews for five new jobs. I’m taking things easy till next year. Cracking review of Queen and Adam Lambert at Manchester Arena online today. So chuffed me and Jenni saw the show in Newcastle. Going to bed early and staying there until mid morning. Feel petty hammered. 10.22 pm.

Tuesday 12th December 2017

Much of today spent tidying downstairs. Cleaned out a hidden corner of the kitchen where the stash of carrier bags live; fixed the vegetable rack. Cleared away papers in the living room. Did additional prep for tomorrow’s sessions… The Cure are marking their 40th anniversary with one gig – one European gig – in Hyde Park. Scalping bastard ticket sites re-selling presale fan club tickets at nearly fifteen times the face value – over twelve hundred quid. I had a bit of back and forth about it online with Jenni. Queen are playing fourteen UK arena dates before Xmas. Brian May is seventy. The Cure: one fucking gig – fuck off!... Got through the day without too much hassle. Need to be up sharp tomorrow to start shopping for work. Aimed to be in bed by ten but best laid plans and all that… Oh well. Soon be Christmas. 

10.55 pm.

Wednesday 13th December 2017

Three minutes to grill cheese on a baguette. I’ve made possibly two dozen toasties since 6th September. So don’t tell me, when that’s my only gas usage this autumn, that I’ve used over twice the amount of summer. Just fuck off with your estimates and send me the correct bill… Great to finally get cards, sweets and biscuits off to Waddy and Appletree. Sessions were good but low on numbers; evening class is running close to Christmas and people are busy. Still one week to go. Mainly discussion after last week’s writing half-marathon. Missed the 9.05 pm bus so didn’t get home till eleven. Read twenty pages of Black Coffee Blues – some of Henry Rollins’ mini fictions are so extreme as to be hilarious. Just creased up laughing. Another grilled cheese baguette and I’m all wrapped up for another raw night. 11.49 pm.

Thursday 14th December 2017

Only used half the gas my estimated bill charged me for. Pleased to get that sorted on the phone this morning and look forward to the readjusted bill in due course. Haven’t done much work today. Ordered a pile of perzines from Antiquated Future zine distro after Joshua got in touch to say he could half the postage by sending mags flat open rather than folded - as letter post rates go by thickness, not just length and width. Read some of Anna Poletti’s ‘Intimate Ephemera: Reading Young Lives in Australian Zine Culture’ online tonight. PhD thesis put into print methinks. Would like a physical copy but it’s still a bit dry in places and costs thirty-five quid from a university website. Some good online chats with Ms Pascoe this afternoon. Listened to ‘The Minutes’ by Alison Moyet. Made up a paperback journal to complete first draft of my In Transit 2017 project and keyed in some Hometown Slog from 2014. Expecting to wake to the sound and warmth of central heating tomorrow. Too much to do in the next week to be working in a freezer. OK. 10.47 pm.

Friday 15th December 2017

Central heating on for the first time in months. Five hours to take the chill off the place. Busy with housework most of the time. Meant to be at Waddy service users Xmas party, but just too much to get my head around today. Pleased bedroom is done and dusted. And the living room. Been wading through all the stuff that piles up during term time. My bookcases are double stacked and some of the shelves are beginning to bow a little. I’ll never read half of what I’ve got. Keep re-reading old faves whilst new titles pile up.  Wanted to be finished and off to bed by half-ten, but so much to do. I’ll be pleased to see the back of 2017. Hope next year is better. I’ve done alright for paid employment, but personal creativity taken a back seat really. Gonna be a struggle to keep going next year, I reckon. But my evening course advertised at the college looks pretty good. Much lower price than originally advertised. Hope it goes ahead. 11.00 pm.

Saturday 16th December 2017

Forgot morning pages today and was really annoyed about it so just scrawled three pages about why Christmas can fuck right off. Sick of all the running round trying to make things right for one sodding day. Overheated, overweight, overspent and not wanting to bother with much! At least I have some new bedding and got the freezer defrosted. Meeting Jenni and maybe going into town for an hour. Kind of hoping we just go back to her place. Hope tomorrow is better. 6.00 pm.

Sunday 17th December 2017

Me and Jen stayed in the double duvet bed till lunchtime. Saw a bit of Columbo then had veg and pie dinner. Out to Newcastle for a few hours to do some Xmas shopping. Pleased to get a few things for Jen and ideas for others. Back to watch The Chase bloopers and James May riding round the Isle of Man on a motorbike made out of Meccano. Pissed myself laughing at idiots on The Apprentice. 10.33 pm.

Monday 18th December 2017

Up early and out to Newcastle before main shopping mayhem kicks in. Bought a few presents, had a festive bake, then back to Jenni’s place for a while. Read some short story theory on the bus to Consett. Then a further couple of hours shopping. Be pleased when it’s all done. Some Amazon items haven’t arrived yet. Things due days ago. Bugger! My nose is all crusty inside; sometimes I can scrape it clean but other times it just starts to bleed. Happens every year. Soundtrack for gift wrapping: Best of Crowded House, Best of Billy Joel, and ‘21’ by Adele. Still lots to do. Back room to finish and more cleaning. Tomorrow a hike over to Leadgate post depot for parcel pick-up. Bastard would come when I was out today. Haven’t heard from Mam and Ernie so don’t know when they are next visiting. 11.04 pm.

Tuesday 19th December 2017

Out on the bike today. Well wrapped up for a ride over to the post depot. Trust me to wear four tops and a coat and two pairs of joggers. Soaked in sweat by the time I got home. But hey, at least I have Mam’s birthday present. Chatted with her and Ernie on the phone this afternoon. They are coming up on Thursday. I got loads done in the back room. All the clothes are out. All the junk out. All the paperstock boxed and zipped away in the suitcase. Mattresses and carpet vacuumed. Finished around nine – then spilt a cup of blackcurrant over three notebooks. Luckily my zines box didn’t get splashed. Found the copy of Iota poetry magazine with ‘Your Blue Shirt’ by Polly Clark in it. Got sessions pretty much sorted for tomorrow. Can’t believe it’s ten degrees outside today. Even warmer tomorrow, apparently. Good to hear from Jenni this afternoon. 11.28 pm.

Wednesday 20th December 2017

Nice final day of sessions. Played Kate Bush’s 50 Words for Snow in Appletree workshop, showed lyrics, gave images to write about. No problems. We did solo stuff then a Tritina poem. Staff gave me a lovely polar bear shaped biscuit tin filled with shortbread. Went into Durham for a few evening class supplies. Enjoyed my chicken tikka masala. Session was good. Feel a bit bad for overrunning coz one of the participants isn’t able to stay back after time. Hopefully he won’t be miffed. Wanted to eat loads of stuff on the bus home. Will be stopping all the chocolate, cakes and pies in the new year. Going to start exercising. Messaged Jenni with pix of the tidy back room tonight. Hope it’s okay. Jenni always has allergic reactions to my house. Will do my best to get the place sorted, but am on limited time. Back room took nine hours at least. Chuffed to be finished work for 2017. Hope next year is sustainable. 11.30 pm.

Thursday 21st December 2017

Way behind on type-ups. Christmas preparation is so fucking time consuming. Don’t like the three/four week roadblock. Could do with an extra day this week to finish off the cleaning. Knocked off early with hovering; didn’t want to be noisy when the next-door neighbour has to start an early shift. Good to see Mam and Ernie today. Brother Mark rang this evening. We haven’t spoken for a while. Don’t see each other so much now. Used to be twice weekly for biketrial training. That ended eleven and a half years ago… Pleased to get all the dusting done. Just got the landing, bathroom and stairs to hoover. Will be food shopping tomorrow. Pleased weather’s been really mild the last few days. Will be good to get a rest at the weekend. Chuffed to be off next Wednesday as well. Going to have some serious lazy days watching films and reading stuff. Okay, done here. 10.52 pm.

Friday 22nd December 2017

Woke with stabbing chest pain. Thought it would go away, but still there – albeit slightly milder some 16 hours later. Got the rest of the house hoovered. Did two shopping trips for food. Cleared out all the old jars in the fridge then realised I’d bought fuck-all except frozen goods, cakes and vegetables. Went out to Waddy Xmas works party. in the Centre. Nice spread of pizzas and nibbles and gateaux and sweet mince pies. Fun and games included Play Your Cards Right and Pictionary then four acoustic songs from Amy Tuddenham. All good people there, but I found it a struggle to be sociable. Missed 9.05 pm bus, so had to go round by Stanley. Got home at eleven. Told Jenni about chest pain. Now about to work out logistics for a visit to Washington tomorrow. Hope I feel better in the morning. 11.37 pm.

Saturday 23rd December 2017

Up early to wrap Jenni’s presents. Sorted some papers for archiving then got ready for bus to Washington. Three hours from my door to Jen’s Mam’s house. Papa John made sure we had plenty to eat. Chicken stir-fry mince pies, chocolates, biscuits… Good to see Jen’s folks. Bus ride to Gateshead then pit-stop at Jen’s to pick up bags for Consett. Made it back to mine, with chips, in time to watch The Feud. I fell asleep but woke in time for ‘Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?’ 11.05 pm.

Sunday 24th December 2017

Pleased Jenni is enjoying time here. We went out to Consett for final bits of food for the big day. This evening we just sat on the couch in the warmth. Later I gift-tagged Jen’s stuff upstairs while she watched The Great Gatsby. It was still on when I returned so I copied up a bunch of notes at the table. Got a few sniffles, but keeping cold at bay. Pleased to be sorted. 11.29 pm.