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Friday, 21 September 2012

Scratch Lamplight B-Format Smut Nightwalking Nostalgia



Sunday 16th September 2012

Jenni woke up from a dream about pamphlets just before I started my morning pages. I wrote rough ideas about characters for stories that will either present themselves to me or be completely impossible.

We ate apple pie for breakfast then had chicken ‘hoojie-woojie-boojie’ (jalfrezi) in a can for lunch with rice. Watched a bit of the Great North Run coverage on tv then went out to Scratch club.

I hadn’t planned to take part and were it not for the torrential rain would probably have just gone book browsing and reading music mags in WH Smith. Pleased I stayed though. Me and Jenni co-facilitated one of the groups that included newcomers while Kirsten worked with the other. A relaxed session giving feedback and practical advice on spoken word, I did two pieces from last night’s JibbaJabba. Keep it in the Family and CABBAGES! Brilliant piece by Claire Cummins that totally blew everyone away. Some funny stuff from James Wilkinson. A new piece about duping political voters from Ian Waugh. Another epic from Chaz Angel. Great piece about ‘voice’ by Amabel Craig. Jeff Poots with more intense and zany stuff. Newcomer Asa did two strong pieces; and Amina with political piece. Other newcomers were great as well. Nice of Joe Price gave us some feedback. Afterwards people left fairly early. Me and Jenni sat in Eldon Square bus station waiting for the 45. Jenni wanted to come to Consett to edit work but I’ll be busy, busy, tomorrow. 

Sheila rang me tonight. Logistics for the launch next week. Tomorrow is Lamplight Open Mic and then back to Waddy on Tuesday. Good day today. 11.50pm.



Monday 17th September 2012

It’s a great day on Devastation Street. The rats are bored. The wheelie bins haven’t been filled for a few days now. The gutter man is ripe but isn’t still enough to get a decent amount of flesh from. It’s going to get out fine and the blood is going to fill the gutters. And all the fathers and all the mothers will weep for their bad choices and all the offspring will sing songs of dissent and all the law enforcers will be torn between serving the people or slaughtering them for the slightest misdemeanour. And an angry god will lose patience and send a monsoon to wash the filth away for a while. And the world shall know famine. And the world shall feel pain. And the great unwashed shall drown or scorch under the electric acid rain. Gather ye tribes, gather up and pray. Coz it’s a righteous motherfucking bastard of a Monday. And without a miracle, there’s not much you can do to better yourselves. Nothing more to say. 8.02pm.


Many thanks to everyone who came out to Stanley last night and made our first Open Mic of the season one of the liveliest ever. Lots of artists crammed into a full-on evening featuring short stories, poetry, stand-up and song. Mark Speeding trying out poems with keyboard backing. Grame Bruce Fletcher on guitar. Rare visit from Lorna and David Windham and Charles Gardiner. Great to see Kate Fox trying out some new comedy routines alongside Dean Humphry and locals such as Andy Oates and fiction writer Rob Moran. Lil' Jenni Pascoe versifiying with style as ever. A story from Marcus Bobble Smith. Ron Dodd and Jean Laws on fine form. Really pleased to have Aidan Clarke back in the venue and Jeff Price. Always blows me away when the region's finest choose Lamplight. Thanks also to the staff of Lamplight Arts Centre for setting up the space. Brilliant evening. Keep it going!

Entertaining ride back to Moorside with Mark Speeding as well. Told me all about his job interview at Emmanuel College and his run in with a Christian headmaster.  Also told me about The Psychopath Test. And John Cooper Clarke gig and seating arrangements upstairs in London Forum.

What a great start to the season at Lamplight. 11.44pm.


Tuesday 18th September

Good being in the beige room again. With no tv on, no music, just the wind blowing down the chimney. Don’t really know what’s important. The bus journey on which I feel asleep, the baked potato with scrambled egg and salad dressing. The uploading of video stills from last night’s brilliant Lamplight gig. Or the humour in our storytelling session. Tonight I read some essays on journaling and notebooks. I’m sick of A4. I want a smaller page, wider lines. Something that looks a publishable size. B-format paperback or A5. Anyway, it’s supper time. Should be in bed soon. 10.28pm.


Wednesday 19th September 2012

Had lunch with Ali, Steve, Gill, Nicky and Joan and the conversation came round to 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. Opinions were mixed. Nicky said I should read this BDSM novel and tell them what I think. I checked a couple of pages in WH Smith and felt pathetic looking at porn in a b-format black cover. And what a ridiculous amount of spin-offs with similar titles packaged up the same way. There’s a campaign to ditch tabloid page three coz it’s degrading but twenty million want to read about sexual domination? Never mind.

Went to a monologue workshop at Settle Down cafĂ©. Didn’t enjoy it. Wandered down to Head of Steam and picked up a few copies of TURPS magazine. They published an extract from my Confessions of an Isolationist. Really must get that book edited next year. Nice to see Jenni in town this evening. Walked home from Benfieldside instead of Consett for a change. I’m not a fiction writer, I don’t give a shit. 11.10pm.


Thursday 20th September 2012

He sits in the seat up from the step and although drowsy earlier in the day, decides it might be interesting to take an alternative route back to base. His duffel bag is a lot lighter since he gave all his grievances to the man in the moon a few hours earlier and so what if the streetlights run out soon, but so long as you’re wearing stout boots and have some memory of the mud track you should get through to the other side without twisting an ankle.

The bus pulls up at the stop outside the now derelict school. For a slip second he feels a bit of a fool alighting when he could be riding tight another and right into town then mildly saunter down the main road between villages but that’s just plain boring. And who in the hell wants to do boring every day of their lives. He remembers crossing the road here every day for the first three years of his school life. A busy road with buses, lorries, traffic of all persuasions. A shop of convenience and a little post office. But there’s no old church now. No high wall with dangerous things behind, no gravestone on its side. No pub on the corner by the hill where accidents were regular, particularly in winter. And with the sun in your eyes you couldn’t see at all. Mr Lollipop Man, can you work longer hours now. The elderly on pension day require assistance.

He crosses by the steps and walks straight across to the car park, all tall trees surrounding now the sloped tarmac where he used to skateboard and ride a bmx bike. Supposed to be for church patrons only but you never see a vicar on a Haro Freestyler or getting radical with the old ollie kickflip on a brand new Kryptonics Denny Reardon deck. Cars? Fuck that, the cool kids ruled. The cool kids were the outsiders, the rest were fucking muppets. Go over to the football pitch if you want to get dirty, take a rugby ball as well and rough and tumble with your own kind, this park is for performers – tricksters with real style.

He realises he’s been walking faster than normal. And not because he’s timing himself. How many times has he wanted to try this route after an appointment but didn’t want to find it put him way behind schedule. He passes the off-licence on Pemberton Road  and keeps pace up the hill. A D-ring on his holdall is squeaking. That’s what his joints will be like in a few years time. There isn’t a single person out here. He could sing at the top of his voice and watch all the lights go on. No, maybe that’s a stupid idea. Just keep walking. And as he reaches the top of the hill he remembers, zero streetlights on the other side. 9.17am.


My mouth is in a bit of an uproar at present. Big ulcer on the underside of my tongue. Hope it goes away by next Wednesday when me and Jenni are in London for our Jawdance gig. I haven’t rehearsed my pieces in a while so I reckon I’d better go through them all lots of times before we hit Shoreditch. Intended to sit reading this evening but might end up watching a documentary on You Tube. Sometimes it’s good to just be cocooned in your little den doing little but being still, thinking and plotting and scheming. Really want to make a chapbook.


Friday 21st September 2012

Sometimes you just can’t say No. I saw a link on facebook to ‘Silver’ the 25th anniversary double DVD of The Mission reunion shows and decided to buy it. Hope I earn some more money this autumn. Seem to be spending a lot of time listening to old BBC recordings of original Mission line-up on Spotify. Wish I was at an eighties Mission gig down the front at Tiffany’s or the Barrowlands. Wish I was wrapped in a swirl of dry ice and losing myself in the music, dancing with the dead boys and girls in their silver bangles and black cloaks, their backcombed crimps and naivety. Now I’m just rotting in front of the computer screen remembering how it was. Mission were great recently but the audience weren’t the same. We all grow old and some of us lose our hair, but even the youngsters looked a bit mainstream. We used to see some of the most fantastic looking creatures at gigs in our teens. I guess you have to go to The Batcave, Wave-Gotik-Treffen in Leipzig, or Whitby. And a lot of those children of the night won’t be youngsters. A bit of nostalgia to make my Friday night go okay.

Hadn’t heard from Jenni for a couple of days so it was good to talk on the phone after tea and get some messages tonight.

There’s a quote printed at the bottom of this A4 WHSmith diary page: “One of the pleasures of reading old letters is the knowledge that they need no answer” – Byron. 11.33pm.

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