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Saturday, 6 October 2012

Been a Long Time Since I Rock 'n' Rolled...



Saturday 22nd September 2012

The alarm clock shrieks....

Available only in the collection "So Much for the Sunshine" published by Talking Pen 2013


Sunday 23rd September

Back home by twenty-five to eleven this evening. Stayed at Jenni’s an hour longer in order to watch an episode of Lewis. We enjoy mystery murders. Haven’t done much today. I don’t do much any Sunday. Rise late, eat a makeshift breakfast of Mr Kipling’s cakes then take turns with Jenni skimming through facebook updates. Watched some back to back episodes of Red Dwarf and Big Bang Theory. Finding it hard to write anything but work-related notes in the diary now. Tempted to go upstairs and put the computer on. But it would be best to get an early night. Tomorrow I want to be up early to get to the printshop to pick up the books for Sheila. Taking one box to Durham and one box I’ll bring back here. Apparently the weather is going to be utter shit. I’ll then spend the day doing prep for Waddy workshops. 10.52pm.


Monday 24th September 2012

Posted on Facebook late this afternoon:

Due to unforeseen production problems we regretfully inform all that the launch of Sheila Wakefield’s pamphlet Limerance has been postponed. Talking Pen apologizes to everyone looking forward to the event and will announce details of the rescheduled date in due course.

Really fucking shit day. Less said about it, the better. 10.24pm.


Tuesday 25th September 2012

Stupid fucking Brian doesn’t give a shit about anything. He isn’t the right person to take your troubles to. He won’t be able to help you. Getting him to do his duties is like getting blood from a fucking stone. Stupid Brian says one thing and does another. Brian can’t be bothered. Brian is passionless. Brian would rather vegetate in his fleapit all day than actually devote his life to something worthwhile. Stupid fucking Brian has been getting away with it for far too long. Stupid Brian needs a brain transplant. Stupid Brian won’t get a promotion. Stupid fucking Brian needs a kick in the pants.

Shelly wants a new job. One that doesn’t make her feel like punching people in the face. Shelly hates flogging away in a packing factory to line the pockets of some fucker else. Shelly wants to be a model. Shelly wants to be a Superstar. Shelly gets the bus to work. Can’t afford driving lessons. Doesn’t have a boyfriend with a flashy car. Shelly lives with her sister Carol. They argue quite a lot. Carol works in the Heron shop. She died her hair red last week. Bad enough having a dippy sister like Shelly without being blonde as well. She works the cash till. She smiles at customers. She wants to leave the north east. Hasn’t any definite plans. But can’t stick it much longer.

Hardly slept last night. Took a photo of my black and red morning eyes coz I looked like death. Still really wrecked on the bus to work. Session went okay. Julie cheered me up by bringing in a copy of The Chocolate Onion. “Where on earth did you find that?” – “In a charity shop.”  - “It’s a rare one, we only made a hundred copies.” – “Well, I’ve got it now and it’s awesome!” Went to Jenni’s afterwards to pick up my train ticket for London. She’s boarding at Newcastle, I’m getting on at Durham. She has done lots of admin for us both. I have been busy doing prep for tomorrow’s session and some London stuff as well. Have got the mellowest of Kate Bush albums on: 50 Words for Snow. It’s brilliant. Must get to bed soon as I feel a migraine coming on. 9.35pm.


Wednesday 26th September 2012

A woman sits in the train station, hands clasped in quiet contemplation. A young guy reads a novel on his laptop. The sound of travel case wheels across vinyl floor, the click of heels and announcements over the Tannoy cut in and kill the train of thought.

In four hours me and Jenni will be in London for our twenty minutes double-header set at Jawdance. The train leaves Durham in eleven minutes. Suppose I should make my way to the platform.

Really pleased to be feeling a lot better than I was this time Monday. Think today could be really excellent. 1.33pm.

Train journey okay. We are currently delayed by half an hour due to yesterday’s floods neat Darlington. Amazing stretches of water where fields should be.

Jenni is munching custard creams and reading the i paper. I’m a bit tired. Haven’t rehearsed together yet.

We reach Doncaster. Dull and grey and lots of chatter, packets rusting and movement in the aisle.

Jenni gets crumbs on her trousers, says: No worries, just travelling clothes. She says I should wear my Garlic Dodger t-shirt tomorrow.

“The train is delayed for Kings Cross by twenty minutes. If you are in our quiet coaches please SHUT THE FUCK UP. If you have any questions please ask our team.”

How many peanuts in a jar of Sunpat? What’s the best way to crucify a goat? How many light bulbs does it take to illuminate the cavernous expanse of dark matter between here and the proof of an afterlife?  Which Des O’Connor album tastes best with Branston pickle and Polyfilla?

Oh we’re moving again. Some woman is complaining on her phone about her daughter being abusive. “I live in a sodding caravan; you live in a house, you support her… She can take a run and jump, the cheeky mare!” And so it goes. 3.38pm.

The kid in the blue zipper hoodie has his ears plugged but the tinny tunes still escape. He’s tapping away at his mobile. He wears a fur trimmed grey deerstalker and has that Nietzsche quote across his right forearm: That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. 3.51pm.

Just over an hour to go. Newark Newgate. It’s the brightest part of the journey. The sunlight on the new page, the steady whirr of the train over the track. Lulled into slumber, but starting to feel hungry again. Jenni is doing puzzles from the i paper. I’m in need of a little sleepy. My poems for tonight are: For a Living, Winding down into Hypomaniac, Be a Writer, Wired, Fuck Hotels and Death Street, then Charlie Crinklepocket with Jenni. Can’t remember all of Jenni’s poems but will remember where to come in when I hear the words. Looking forward to my first poetry gig in the capital. So good the second is only a day away too.

Lil’ Jenni leans in for a wee snuggle and a kiss. She is lovely. I love her very, very much. 4.05pm.

LATER: Took us a while to find the hotel so it was a quick in and change before going out to Rich Mix. Brilliant venue. Large stage, great host, tough crowd but excellent performers and we got some great feedback afterwards. Thought I was going to fuck up Hypomaniac. Jenni said the crowd looked a bit alarmed at my jump off the stage. Jenni was really good. The exchanges worked really well. Back at the hotel by twenty to eleven armed with Tesco’s bacon and chicken sandwiches and a McCoy’s multipack of crisps. Mission accomplished. Next gig: Bang Said the Gun. 11.30pm.


Thursday 27th September 2012

Richard walks along the train tracks and wonders if he’ll make it back in time to take them all to the cleaners. Being a con man is sometimes harder than going legit but it has its advantages. No-one really knows you. No-one breathing down your neck 9 to 5. You can set the parameters of your own deception. Play to your strengths and reap all the rewards. You can go out of your way to charm and enthral and then stick the knife in on the turn of a card. Being a charlatan sometimes really keeps you on your toes. The health scares can be sometimes just that; scary. Richard walks the line and wishes he’d brought his car keys but what the fuck, very soon he’ll be back in his little empire And no-one will be any the motherfucking wiser. 6.46am.

"Here in Hilarity Central the bad boys..."

Available only in the collection "So Much for the Sunshine" published by Talking Pen 2013

 6.55am.

Its been a good day. we kicked off with a big breakfast in a Shoreditch café then went back to the hotel to pick up our bags. Bought day pass each and jumped on the tube to Highgate. The west side cemetery has only one tour a week so we went to the east side and had a wander for an hour. Saw final resting place of such luminaries as Karl Marx and Jeremy Beadle.

On the tube from Archway to Warren Street. Jenni knows the tube routes really well and it’s a luxury to have such an erudite travel guide girlfriend. Forgot how hot it gets on the tube though. Brought too many clothes. 2.05pm.

LATER: Great day. me and Jenni came back into central London. Got off at Oxford Circus and first place we looked in was Schu. Much better than the Newcastle branch.  Mega girls’ Doc Martens with platform soles. Jenni saw some lovely purple Vans shoes that would be great for stage. I checked out mens’ boots but they were boring in comparison to the girls’. Nothing could have prepared me for the toy shop experience that is Hamleys. Loved it. Saw lots of cool toys. Great Lego. Great Play People, Batman; Spiderman hanging from the ceiling. Top floor is candy heaven. Jenni got a bakewell tart milkshake. I took pictures of her with a tiger. She took one of me with goth dolls.. Jenni played Connect 4. I completed the limited edition Rubik’s Cube with very dark colours. Lots of fun. We were in their two hours. Went to Leister Square for tea. Kids playing ping-pong and dodging the water fountain. Some great t-shirts in Covent Garden. Jenni got me keyring: Come on over to the Darkside – we have cookies. I bought her some button badges including Alex from Clockwork Orange. Now on the tube to BANG SAID THE GUN.

LATER: Never been to such a raucous poetry night in my life. Take the most lively Newcastle poetry slam and times it by ten you’re hitting the volume of audience response. Some great feature poets. My faves Joella Taylor and Musa Oskwonka. We took part in the Raw Meat Stew open mic. Jenni did 16 Reasons, I did Chocolate Onion. Single bus journey from Borough to Victoria. Jenni is eating raw fish. I’m having a cheese sandwich. An incredible couple of days. So glad we got to perform at two London events. Excellent. 11.25pm.


Friday 28th September 2012

David picks up the shovel and says, “Well, that’s another fucking great waste of time, Sammy; next time you have another one of your little brainwaves remind me not to pay you the slightest bit of attention, you stupid fuck.” then marches out of the cemetery and off to the nearest Greggs. It’s only five to six but they’ll be open soon.

So anyway, there’s a big tiger, a little tiger, a huge Lego technical set a fancy limited edition Rubik’s Cube and a copy of the London Evening Standard. There’s an audience of noise makers with plastic milk bottle shakers filled with rice. There’s a mirror at the top of the stairs, there’s a dumb waiter, and a bus just around the corner can take you back to Victoria.

Tracy flicks snot at Stacy. Stacy stabs Sally in the leg with a compass. Trudy tells tales about Tanya and David just sits at the back of the room sniggering at everyone. It’s a slow day. Detention is a waste of time. In a few years they’ll be mothers, estranged fathers, sheeple breeders and celebrity cloners. It’ll all go horribly downhill for them faster than hot shit off a chrome shovel. Doesn’t matter what anybody says to them, they’ll think they know best until they realise that all the miles they’ve clocked getting as much of their own way as possible will be taken from them at the other end. Saddos, baddos and downtimers, soon to be flatliners. Who wouldn’t want a merry-go-round or a magical mystery tour?

Bob sits at the bar and wonders why no-one can be bothered to play dominoes. Carl clips his toenails and the bits fly across the room. Teresa talks down to her sister; they both want to leave home as soon as possible but it’s a bad time to be finding somewhere, especially on minimum wage. Soon they’ll all be asleep again. What a wonderful world. What an amazing place to be poor. No-one’s going to help. No-one’s going to care. 7.58am.

The 435 from London hit Tyneside just before six o’clock this morning. Slept quite a bit overnight despite limited space. Had a Greggs sausage roll and got bus ticket money from Central Station. Was back in Moorside by half seven. Had a sleep then uploaded pix from yesterday. Some cracking shots of Highgate and M&Ms World. Quite a contrast. Into Waddy this afternoon to sort Limerance stock with Sheila. She gave me a lift to Jenni’s place. Jenni is well chuffed with the London pix. Quite a few comments from friends. We are about to leave for Metro Arena. Jesus Christ Superstar with Tim Minchin as Judas. Starts in 45 minutes. More here later. 7.15pm.

LATER: Just got back from Jeezy Creezy Superstar. Didn’t know what to expect but it was really fucking mind-blowing. Tim Minchin was superb. The Jesus guy – really powerful voice. And I thought Mel C was great as well. I don’t know the songs as well as Jenni but enough to enjoy it a lot. Loved the mixed-media stuff. Multi-layered live projections, pyrotechnics, costumes, Judas Iscariot’s suicide and the crucifixion really well done. Great to see the whole audience up on their feet for a boogie at the end. Good to see Jesus, Judas and Mary Magdalene giving it large to the crowd. Jenni is well made-up and looking forward to the DVD release in November. She bought me pizza and chips on the way back. Great day. It’s been quite a week, to be honest. So chuffed we might have Sheila’s books ready in a couple of weeks, too. 11.23pm.





Saturday 29th September 2012


In the burning heat, stripped and ridiculed.
Projected sense of grandeur, nothing to do with you.

A puppet on a platform, so very plain to see.
Tell them that you’re satisfied with the way it has to be.

But when the sky turns black and the earth is shaking wild,
you’re body totally wrecked, self-doubt fills your frazzled mind.

All the people sing, clap hands and stamp their feet.
A ritual human sacrifice just can’t be beat.

Barbaric entertainment? Who wouldn’t pay to see
a tripped-out hippie philosopher nailed to a tree?

Yeah! the people shout. Bring it on! they cry.
We all need a martyr. Someone has to die.

And from this day onward, there’s no turning back.
The body just a bag of bones; broken, hanging slack. 

Hallelujah, guys, Hallelujah!


Street poetry with Jenni, Amina, Grame, Terry and Ian at the Bridges, Sunderland. Jenni really on form and directing lines at passers by. Very windy so not good for video. I fucked up Wired and bailed it in Gateshead at Baltic Square. Did the rest of the poems from the page. Newcastle Central Library with tables and chairs, a few dedicated listeners. Only did a few poems, sick of the wind. Final sets at Eldon square the least enjoyable. A lot of people gathered but most just wanted to heckle or distract with stupid stage invasion antics. Wouldn’t really want to perform in front of the disenchanted again. Fuck them all.

Anyway, back at Jenni’s and very tired. Looking forward to a day of total rest tomorrow. 7.00pm.


Sunday 30th September 2012

The girl in the Metro station doesn’t look short of a meal. White jeans, matching jacket and shoulder bag, she asks for eighty pence but is told there’s no spare change only a day saver ticket for the next journey. She asks a few more people, manages to get 55p, but her maths can’t be very good as she then asks for another eighty pence. Then she asks about the journey. Gateshead is only one stop away but the next train isn’t for half an hour and that’s a ridiculous wait of a Saturday evening. A journey on foot the best option. Her voice fades as the exit gets nearer. Another Saturday night chancer. Spent too much on cigarettes and beer.

The morning is thick with the cloying weight of chore. It’s supposed to be a day of ease but Brian wants to crack on with the walls. Decorating has always been synonymous drudgery and depression. A job put off all summer and now there’s strips of wallpaper on the skirts, a bucket of warm water and a rusty scraper. It’s another forgotten ritual he’ll soon fully remember. Peel back the old, find hidden meaning in the cracks and crevices, the biro scrawls on gloss splashes and then wipe it all out, whitewash or some beige alternative. Take it to a neutral  where his head can dwell, where he can ponder and lose himself within the in-animation. It will take a good few days before he bags of trash, the excess furniture and other bric-a-brac is dumped. Then Brian can sit in his new beige oasis and find some peace and quiet. But for now, it’s Sunday and the RSI-inducing scraping, scraping must be endured. The church bell chimes ten and he gets to work.

Falling through the cracks in daydreams, nothing’s quite as mundane as it seems. There’s magic on the mantelpiece, there’s demons in the wardrobe. The sinister taste of despair emanating from the faded green curtains. Falling through cracks in daydreams to a dark domain with the heavy breath of monsters and the sticky secretion from other small enemies coating every surface difficult not to touch. Falling though the cracks in daydreams to a garden where the trees look angry and the insects look like fascists, the grass cuts shoe leather and flies bite bare skin. A high-frequency buzz splits each thought straight down the middle. It’s the ghost train all over again. It’s the bogeyman on the stairs stopping you going to the bathroom in the small hours. It’s the heart-stopping panic, the fear that there’s more to life than the mundane reality people are prepared to suffocate themselves with. Falling through the cracks in daydreams and. nothing’s quite as mundane as it seems and a fearless travel guide holds a welcome sign that says you’ll survive all this and bring back tiny treats from the darkside. 10.41am.


Monday 1st October 2012

A new direction. No need for fiction. This month I want to start the mornings by just letting go, just spilling what I need to. Really pleased to go no further than the shop round the corner today. Last night my first night home for a while. Been looking at poetry about stars this evening for tomorrow’s workshop. Dots in the sky, twinkling in a velvet emptiness. All admin and no play makes Steve a self-referential shut-in. Found a great notebook filled in a day. Going to try that again. Listening to New Model Army this evening. One of the tracks is called North Star.


Tuesday 2nd Oct 2012

Totally winged it today. I did loads of prep but just went with the flow of a Q & A session, spent much time discussing reading and performing. Did a bit on ‘stars’ for National Poetry Day but most present thought this year’s theme a bit naff. I left my battery charger at Jenni’s and will have to  go pick it up so I can have power for Poetry Jam on Thursday. It’s gone ten and I’m downstairs watching The Mission ‘Silver’ DVD. I couldn’t write about broken wings of butterflies or gardens of delight but like listening to stuff like that. On Sunday me and Jenni listened to quite a lot of Black Sabbath, which is off on another fantasy tangent altogether. ‘Wake’ is on now and it’s about as goth as The Mission have ever been. Fucking magnificent. 10.32pm.


Wednesday 3rd October 2012

Had some new students in at Waddy session today. More drawn to fiction than poetry so coming up with stuff for them will keep me on my toes. Had a great afternoon at Bishop Auckland Town Hall. Carolyn Jess Cooke was interviewed and reading from her second novel ‘The Boy Who Could See Demons’. I liked it when she said she doesn’t plot too much and just lets her characters lead. Would have been good for some of the Waddy people to be in on this event. I got books signed. Went over to Jen’s to pick up the battery charger for the pocket camcorder.

After seeing Carolyn today I felt like a fraud talking about writing but then read some Wild Mind by Natalie Goldberg and much as I’ve enjoyed and benefited from elements of Writing Down the Bones, basically it has no real nuts and bolts techniques for fiction or poetry other than freewriting.

Every time I got on a bus today the sun came out, every time I got off it fucking pissed down. It’s really cold in the house tonight. Toyed with the idea of going to a metal festival in Leeds next month but the only band I really want to see is Primordial. An expensive day for what will probably only be a 45 minute set. Need to curtail the luxuries for a while. 10.14pm.


Thursday 4th October 2012

National Poetry Day has so far pretty much passed me by. Normally a few of the Waddy crew join me on a whistle-stop tour of County Durham libraries, in recent years accompanied by my better half, Jenni Pascoe. This year I’m celebrating with a single gig this evening. Our monthly house-party called Poetry Jam. Right now I’m in the Waddy kitchen. I ate a whole packet of mini sausage rolls this afternoon so chilli and rice is probably going to wipe me out. I have looked through my slim volumes of verse and can only find two pieces with references to stars. I’m a bit tired but the buzz of the event should wake me up. The camera batteries are charged so we should get some good footage and pix. There’s lots of poetry events taking place today, so I hope we get a good turn out. For me every day is a poetry day. Another hour till doors open. 6.00pm.

Later: Great Poetry Jam. Some specially written material for National Poetry Day by Jenni and surprise appearances. Stellar sets from Felicity Powell, Arabella Arnott and Jeff Price. We had some newbies reading. Got some good pix. Nice to see Lorna and David Windham and Annie Moir. Terry Dobson came up from Hartlepool. Mike treasure was on top form, Alex Birch read a poem by Charles Wright. Gig didn’t really take much setting up. Very informal. Great turnout. 11.10pm.


Friday 5th October 2012

Freezing cold in the house tonight. Should have put the heating on earlier. Can hardly write. Just spent about two hours editing and uploading pix from last night’s Poetry Jam. Busy tagging and sharing at present whilst listening to Lou Reed and Jon Cale’s Songs for Drella. It’s getting late. 11.52pm.


Saturday 6th October 2012

Amina kindly offered me first refusal on her Michelle Shocked ticket for tonight at the Cluny in Newcastle but I don’t really have the time to spare for another gig. Been typing most of the day whilst listening to Leonard Cohen and Souxsie and the Banshees. Only went out to do bank transactions and buy food, but enjoyed selecting coloured card and endpapers for handmade journals. Tired of big A4 printed diaries, I’d like to make one of my own next year. Today is very bright. Given the time, I’d like to ride my trials bike but know from the pins and needles in my palms just from using a ruler and trimming knife yesterday that rough riding and shunting around a rock field would wreck my hands this time of year. Pleased I’ve managed to keep a journal for the last five years. Real easy actually, when there’s no expectation beyond filling blank space. We spend a lot of time finding things we enjoy in order to fill blank spaces. Scribbling in journals is one of my favourites. 4.17pm.

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