Fear, Fun, Farewell...

Monday 23rd May 2016

Beginning to dread Mondays. Stomach churning before even reaching for the gel pen this morning. Took absolutely ages to get through the admin today. Treacle pond drowning boy. Quicksand and broken hands. Mind’s eye blinded by too much insight into what can go wrong. Why’s it taking so long? At least I had the sense to check the weather forecast and got the lawns mowed before the big rain came. Then another document to the college. This evening: trying to walk a straight line from desire to destination, but finding mine is a circular journey, preferring poetry to short story. Mr Not Exactly Wonderfully Interesting playing ‘pot calling kettle’ but the majority of fiction does little for me. Unless it’s flash. Could never write stories just for the cash. Put a gun to my head and I’ll give you a protagonist about to get his brains blown out. Beginning to dread Mondays. This one, mercifully, is nearly through with me. 11.08 pm.

Tuesday 24th May 2016 

Pleased to be out of the house and working with the Waddy writers today. Point of view: first, second, third – pros and cons. Guided poems. Home to feedback on student work given to me after the course ended. Applied for workshops in Durham starting in September. Fingers crossed for that. Watched a video on Rothschild Zionism. Ate a big tuna salad with baked potato and scrambled eggs. Then yoghurt. And later: a cheese and tomato sandwich. Struggling with fiction stuff today. I find all the plotting just too constraining, most novels I pick up just too long, and too many characters in a lot of them. Basically, I just like poems and short prose pieces… I wanted to be in bed early. Tme is ticking. A couple of years ago I’d only be getting home from a full day at Waddy around eleven at night. But it’s good to have more time to myself. Enjoyed the JibbaJabba rehearsals this morning. But I still reckon it’s better to use the book and be safe not sorry. 10.59 pm.

Wednesday 25th May 2016

Awake at five and working by half past. The morning pages became a provocation on fiction for the evening session. Had a pleasant lunchtime with Waddy staff then a great characterisation workshop at Cambian Appletree this afternoon. Evening was pretty heavy, but I think it’s good to challenge values and theories on conventional fiction at least once a term. People stuck with it and we had some in depth discussions about character, plot, pace, style, reader expectations – escapist fantasy versus literary fiction. A good two hours. But to redress the balance next week will be a half-marathon. Jenni phoned. She had a great gig at Bar Loco with people asking if she has a book for sale. I think it’s high time she did have a book published. I’m writing this in bed otherwise I’ll just find something else to do: I’ve already – post supper – made up a mini zine and tested a load of batteries for the pocket camcorder. Tomorrow night is the big one: Jibba’s Last Stand at The Cumberland. 11.00 pm.

Thursday 26th May 2016

Decided not to repeat last night’s session this morning. Will keep it for another week. A little sonnet work followed by fun template sci-fi verse at Mind till twelve. Then an afternoon of packing up book stock for Festival of the Zine 2016 and prep for tonight. Been through the set’s most prominent performance pieces numerous times today. But I’ll still need the book in my hand. I’m on the bus to Newcastle with a pit-stop at Jenni’s to drop stuff off. The bus is full as it leaves Consett town centre. I don’t like side-facing seats for writing but will have to make do for now. Would like an eat4less baguette but pushed for time I settled on a Greggs mince pie and am now kind of wishing I hadn’t. Three and a half hours from now I will be onstage. I’m looking forward to poetry sets by Kirsten Luckins and Jeff Price, improv from Spontaneous Wrecks  and a guitar set from Haythem. There’ll be a few surprises for sure. I know Annie Moir intended to write a poem for Jenni. And pay with what you like should be quite hilarious, hence the extra suitcase I’m dragging. Just switched seats, writing sideways makes me feel sick. Well, the weather stayed grim, which suits my poems. OK. 5.10 pm.

Friday 27th May 2016

JibbaJabba was great last night. What a brilliant celebration of six years of spoken word organised by Jenni and Kirsten. We got back around half one this morning and looked at all the gifts people gave instead of paying general admission. This morning Jenni looked at all the Jibba updates on Facebook, including video messages from Rosie Garland, Dan Simpson, Joelle Taylor and the ‘BANG! Said the Gun’ crew in London. I made up 24 copies of my mini-zine then me and Jenni went into town for an eat4less baguette. Did a bit of typesetting in the library then looked in some shops for household stuff before hitting Tesco for bigly food. Jenni got a load of veg and a cooked chicken. Plus plenty other stuff that took ages to carry back to Bensham. Watched some telly and zoned out. Regular sleep pattern is a bit messed up. Pleased to have all the stock made up for tomorrow. 10.13 pm.

Saturday 28th May 2016

Bag pack for zine fest didn’t take long. I helped to set up space at B&D Studios in Commercial Union House this morning. Started with my stock crammed onto half a table but got the okay to spread out. Shifted a few things in the first ninety minutes. Some great stuff on sale by others. Will wait until about four to see if I can do any swaps. 1.43 pm.

Canny time. Thanks to Jenni for minding the table while I nipped out this afternoon. Thanks to Verbal Remedy for putting on the event. Sold some more stuff and swapped some, so that was okay. Then went along to Travelling Man and placed some titles with them for the independent books section. Had a baked potato and bought art card for writing marathon booklet covers then off to Alphabetti Theatre. Rowan MacCabe’s short play is on – as well as comedy and music – and he’s standing in for an unwell Kirsten Luckins. 7.08 pm.

Sunday 29th May 2016

Sang along to Abba, Proclaimers and Journey songs at Sunday Assembly, listened to some speakers and saw Alix Alixandra perform English as a Second Language, a great song. Then a bunch of poets went to Five Swans for lunch. Jenni had a chicken burger and got me a double beef burger and chips. Dan Smith was up for the weekend. Nine of us went off to Hustler to play a few games of pool. Back at Jenni’s for the evening, had stir fry vegetables and yoghurt. 10.10 pm.