Gigs, Gifts, Gritted Teeth and Gluttony

Monday 5th December 2016

Slept over at Jen’s place again last night. She was up and off to work before I even started on morning pages. I was out for the bus half an hour after I finished… Annual check-up at the Docs part one this afternoon. Bloodtest. I go back next week and get to moan about my knees and repetitive strain injured wrists and basically get told I’m forty-six trying to be sixteen. Heard it all before… Tonight I cooked a proper dinner with pork steak, potatoes, carrots, broccoli. Very nice… Keyed in the morning pages, but very distracted by some fucking superb videos of The Cure from last weekend at Wembley. So pleased I chose London. Apparently in Manchester the band had been on stage half an hour before all standing ticket holders got into the arena. Bad stewarding. I’d have been well pissed off. And the set was curtailed by half an hour. London was nearly three hours. And they were mint… House cold today. Heating on lots after place standing empty nearly four days. Really tired. Did little. 11.39 pm.

Tuesday 6th December 2016

Got a nice letter from Julia Eff with a zine today. Will probably read all on the bus to Durham tomorrow. Been steadily plugging away at the work. Marathon stuff. Workshop prep and research. Spoke to Mam and Ernie on the phone this morning. I still haven’t started on Christmas yet. Still to prep my bookmaking session with East Durham Artists Network next Sunday. Will be road-testing exercises and craft techniques on Thursday and Friday. Listened to The Head on the Door album by The Cure twice today. And their Wembley third night full set. Jenni has been in touch, reminiscing about our crap light pole Christmas Tree. She posted a pic of me in an ‘I Love Xmas’ t-shirt. 11.33 pm.

Wednesday 7th December 2016

Blast of warm air surprised me when I stepped outside today, despite knowing the temperature was forecast to be 12 degrees. Nice to not feel numb when working. Pleased I got stuff typed up last night, didn’t take too long to pull a session together. Read the gossip page of the Metro paper on the bus to Durham – Madonna, Gaga, heavy metal gigs next year… Switched to the android tablet to key in morning pages. Chicken soup lunch whilst listening to the others talk about 70s / 80s horror films. Chatted with Jen from Waddy about food and theatre. Session at Cambian went okay. Autobiographical free-form writing then Triolet. A bit longer than expected. Still warm and breezy when I left. Buses on time so well on my way to Newcastle. Going to see Krapp’s Last Tape then Telling Tales. 3.50 pm.

LATER: Simon James was great as Krapp tonight in Monkfish Productions’ staging of Beckett’s play. Enjoyed hearing the word ‘spoo-ooo-ool’ stretched out. Then onto Telling Tales Christmas special with some great stories. Enjoyed Tony Gadd account of disasters whilst on festive police duty; Ross Punton’s change of heart about homelessness; Rosie Anderson’s piece about burnt marmalade; Peter Mortimer’s hilarious dad buried standing up with a punch line per paragraph; Chris Moir – Thanksgiving speech. Also Jeff Price, Aidan Clarke, Beda Higgins, John Price, Ye Min and one or two others whose names now escape me. 11.45 pm.

Thursday 8th December 2016

Sequencing a craft workshop with bookmaking stuff that I’ve never delivered to a big group before. Can you really expect people to sit and sew up a six-signature book block for an hour? I’ve only one book press – what exercises to run while PVA glue dries? It’s easy pottering on just doing one-off volumes and limited edition stuff at home, but trying to stick to a time frame whilst demonstrating is another matter. I have no idea how long it will take other people to fold and trim a chapbook. Some days a book takes me ten minutes, some days it takes two hours. Do people care about perfect binding? About grooves down the hinge of a clothbound chunky hardback? Will people laboriously fold all the individual pages for a poetry collection? Hand letter a bunch of A6 monographs? – I LOVE bookmaking, but it’s time consuming. Will have another crack at a four-hour workshop start to finish and see how far I get. Oh, and the final writing marathon place went this evening. Pretty good going. 11.44 pm.

Friday 9th December 2016

FUCKING CUNT! Spent about twenty hours planning, road-testing and revising exercises for the bookmaking; finally got my wheelie case all packed – it weighs a ton – now dog tired: I know, I’ll change the blade on my Stanley knife, save me doing it in the workshop on Sunday. Those little yellow plastic safety dispensers – so fucking safe I took hold of the blade from the wrong side and sliced right into my fucking right thumb. So now that’s pissing with blood and soaking through wads of tissue. And of course soon as I put pressure on that with a knife in my hand it’s going to burst open again, isn’t it. Cunt! You stupid fucking cunt! Twenty hours! If I have to cancel this workshop I’ll be so fucking annoyed. Note to self: buy some bastard elastoplasts tomorrow. Thoroughly pissed off. Surprised I can hold a pen to scribble this. 10.57 pm.

Saturday 10th December 2016

Pleased the bed sheet wasn’t covered in thumb blood this morning. Good to get over to North Durham Academy in Stanley for Kirsten Luckins’ workshop on place, memory and identity. Drew a map, wrote three drafts, revised and chatted with writers – Tony Gadd was there, Cecelia from Word Weavers, Winston and Hubert. Thoroughly enjoyed it … Sorted some final bits and pieces for tomorrow’s bookmaking session in Seaham. Tonight, me and Jenni had a wander up to Tesco for some food supplies. Then watched Michael McIntyre’s Big Show on TV. Had a lush veggie pizza and fries. 9.54 pm.

Sunday 11th December 2016

Good workshop with East Durham Artists Network in Seaham today, Despite my wheelie case handle breaking on the way and my thumb bursting in the first hour. We did basic stapled and hand sewn pamphlets, spined paperbacks, mini zine templates and pocket broadsheets. EDAN want a follow-up in the new year. One of the artists, Victoria, kindly gave me a lift to Sunderland Metro. Back in Bensham by five. Watched evening telly with Jenni, back in bed by ten. 11.03 pm.

Monday 12th December 2016

Out to Docs for annual check-up part two. All I was concerned about was my knees. Given assurances that clicks aren’t too bad and I should still be able to ride bikes. I didn’t mention longboards. Looked around for a new wheelie case. Yesterday’s bookmaking session killed the one I had. Must get another for the writing marathon. Been listening to The Cure’s Three Imaginary Boys and Seventeen Seconds albums. Dog tired tonight. Hoping to go into Newcastle tomorrow for shopping trip part one. 10.37 pm.

Tuesday 13th December 2016

Feel like I’ve kind of switched off from work for the year, but keyed in some of the Appletree Writers work this morning. Water supply was off for repairs in the street over two hours. Out to Newcastle this afternoon and started Christmas shopping. Got a few things for Jenni and family. Good spending time in Forbidden Planet, Travelling Man and Waterstones, but will probably buy a fair amount online tomorrow. Paid room hire for January’s Writing Marathon. Chance meeting with Jenni in Old Eldon Square. Went to Tesco then the Split Chimp micro pub for Babble Gum spoken word. Mint sets from all guests – Asa Maddison, Jeff Potts – but Briony Thomson Williamson and AJ McKenna shone out most for me. Bought AJ’s novella “Incidents of Trespass”. Nipped into the Head of Steam for a little while afterwards with some of the poets. Now on bus back to Consett till just after midnight. Will be twenty to one by the time I get home. Not looking forward to walking in the rain. 11.50 pm.

Wednesday 14th December 2016

Northumbrian Water are digging up the pavements outside every house in the street. Fucking bedlam. On six hours of sleep I’m not at my most sympathetic – even if it is essential maintenance for our benefit. Pleased to be out of the house. When I arrived at Waddy, Ali Lee was wiping blood off the office walls. Waddington the dog got his tail caught in the door and was spraying blood with every wag. So lunch break was a case of “you’ve missed a bit” and pet off to vet. I’m on the 21 to Newcastle after session at Appletree. Not many in and not the best of engagement – Christmas not the best time for some people. I’ll take some non-festive options next week. Read some bits and pieces of a book Jaene Davies sent me – a Magnus Mills paperback called ‘The Maintenance of Headway’ about bus services. The most visually sparse novel I’ve ever seen. Even more so than Bukowski. Got a Christmas card from Joan and George, neighbours from my time at West Road. They’ve moved to West Acre, where Gus lived. Me and Jenni are having a carvery at The Goose tonight. She doesn’t finish work till seven. I’m braving the shops again. Need a gift voucher, bits and pieces of small stuff. Want to copy up my notes, got to tidy the house next week. 

4.00 pm.

Thursday 15th December 2016

That screech in the solo on ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’ by Oasis elicits, embarrassingly, a strong emotional response every time I hear it. The Gallagher brothers were somewhat uncouth at the best of times and often shameless borrowers of riff and melody from immediately recognisable sources, but that particular number cobbled together in the mid-nineties I still find particularly moving. Now, there’s a Queen song called ‘Was it All Worth It?’ on the sound system and I’m not sure which album it’s from but would hazard a guess on Innuendo or The Miracle, certainly no earlier. I’m in The Goose and have just had a cooked breakfast. First plateful was okay, but seconds was too much; wrapped up a couple of sausages in some paper napkins for later. A group of lads in the queue before me seemed to have a thing going where just a couple of them get plates from which the rest just snaffle sausages and bacon for takeaway sandwiches. Not sure the management would like that but it’s a canny idea if you’re struggling, chip in with a little cash and get a big feed for the day. I certainly don’t intend to buy any lunch. Well, maybe a doughnut. Otherwise the snaffled pig meat and two bottles of Apple Tango purchased in Poundland should suffice. Need to do bank transactions and work out how much I’ve spent this week. Think I’ll do a bit of the latter now, actually. 9.45 am.

THANKS: to all at The STANZA in Beldons, North Shields, for a mint final poetry event of my 2016. Steve Lancaster, John Mills, Catherine Ayres and Tony Gadd. Superb line up of guests plus top open mic from the likes of Aidan Clarke, Aaron Wright, Jenni Pascoe, Jeff Price and others. 12.30 am (late).

Friday 16th December 2016

Lots of gaps in the journal to copy up from rough book. Got some new clothes for tonight’s Waddy Xmas meal (Chinese buffet). The top I bought was too tight. I have spindly arms and legs, a sunken chest – and a big pile of blubber round the middle, so the baggier the better. I wore an old v-neck. My DM style safety boots are fucked. Big style. Split across the soles, hardly worn. So I’m wearing my big TUK three-buckle Goth boots that take about ten minutes to fasten… Foggy and damp outside. Bought three hats this week. Didn’t bring any of them with me. Fuck it. 3.26 pm.

LATER: Meal was okay but in order to not feel totally ripped off by the price I had to stuff myself – turkey, mushrooms, curry sauce, seaweed and chips then blackberry pie and custard. People at Waddy are really great but I didn’t feel able to contribute much to the conversations this evening. Fell asleep on the bus back. Was good to be home by ten o’clock. Pleased I don’t have to go far for the rest of the weekend. Not so keen on having to get the house tidy. Turns out I still need to buy a few more things. Bigly worn out after this week’s social merriment. Just want to crash out for twelve hours. 10.47 pm.

Saturday 17th December 2016

Long lie in. Caught up on emails and read some online articles on the political state of play as we get closer to the end of the year. Joy of joys. Keyed in some morning pages. Talked on the phone to brother Mark for a good while. About jobs, houses, ailments, the good old days of biketrial… Another shopping trip this evening. And yet still more stuff to buy. Ears ringing loudly. Chicken bake and beans for supper. 11.19 pm.

Sunday 18th December 2016

Not much to report. Mainly keying in the previous entries. Discussing Christmas logistics. Listening to Queen’s Innuendo. Remember hearing the title track back in 1991 whilst still working in the warehouse and thought it was one of the best things they’d done since the early days, sounded like it could have been recorded for any of the first three or four albums. Still haven’t touched any housework yet. Or wrapped a single present. Bugger! 7.34 pm.