Various Gigs, Workshops and Gripes

Saturday 12th October 2013

In response to Kate Fox’s Facebook post about author Philip Hensher refusing to write for free, I added the following comment: Sometimes lucrative work comes off the back of doing a freebie and occasionally I've been given an extra pot of money for something I did with no thought of being paid for it at the time, such as extra hours/weekends spent on a community writing anthology – or extra workshops to keep the numbers up for college-funded courses requiring fixed minimum enrolments helping to secure a well-paid series of summer school sessions. But earning a living directly from poetry is probably impossible – some people are very fortunate in that they can command a fee to teach people how to do something that won't put food on the learner's table unless the learner in turn teaches others. Michael Gira of the American music group Swans once said that as an artist no-one owes you anything. And in a way he's right. Why should I be paid for self-expression? Mainstream musicians might have corporate sponsored tours but if they don't put bums on seats they don't get paid. Imagine The Beatles or Black Sabbath getting ACE funding for the follow-up to a flop of a debut album. It just wouldn't happen. I do lots of extra hours to ensure I can stay afloat. A working week in excess of forty hours – prep, travel time, delivery of five workshops, managing student output, etc - after expenses brings in much less than £240 minimum wage. About two thirds actually. I totally understand the guilt thing Kate mentions. I'm driven by fear; having suffered a mental breakdown after thirteen years of menial toil, I count myself extremely lucky not to have to have signed on over the last decade and be actively seeking 'proper' work. I don't think I could survive in that conventional 9to5 world, so I tend to do whatever it takes to avoid it. 11.10am.

Work day. Copying up. Some page layouts. Freezing in Consett but managed to leave heating off. 8.00pm bus through the pissing drizzle to Jenni’s place. Made a drink and facebooked. Jenni had a great gig two minutes from home. Think it’s going to be a walk up the road for takeaway supper soon. 10.15pm.

Sunday 13th October 2013

Wrote a little workshop exercise in bed and read some Daniil Kharms prose pieces. Me and Jenni watched Big Bang Theory, some terrible game shows and a DVD of Taggart then listened to performance poets on Spotify. Back home I checked emails, did some page layout work and stuffed my face with food. House is like a fucking fridge. Could do with a woolly hat on in bed. 11.17pm.

Monday 14th October 2013

Freezing at the keyboard all day. Considerably warmer this evening. Good to read some Russell Edson prose poems online. Submitted a batch of poems to Material magazine. Splashed out on a handmade Swans double cd NOT HERE NOT NOW. Expensive but I’ve been very influenced by Gira and co for decades. And using Spotify to listen to them for the last couple of years. Big day tomorrow. 11.12pm.

Tuesday 15th October 2013

Throat raw and rasping. The morning desperate, the stomach wanting for something. The dampness aggravating. The bus drivers locked into apathy. The librarians stamping the large print for pensioners. The lack of spacial awareness in the supermarket. Excuse me. Smile, apology. Excuse me. A trolley in your leg. Excuse me through greeted teeth. A voice sick of the repetitious stupidity of strangers. Oblivious. You think the world revolves around you. You think it all has to mean something. A substantial chunk of life leads you nowhere. It doesn’t matter if the sun shines, the rain falls, rosy glass from your eyes. No rude awakening loud enough. No prize great enough. No loss too damning. Forget it, you’ll never get where you’re supposed to be going. Just sit back and relax. And let the big stinking wave swallow you whole. Oh happy day, indeed!

Thanks to all the people who showed up at writing sessions. To Waddy for letting me hang out in the building till evening class. Out the house twelve hours. At least I got a mock-up of standard Sunshine book. 11.21pm.

Wednesday 16th October 2013

The only thing to really piss me off today was the new Lloyds ATM swallowing my card this morning all because, I learned later this afternoon when I was allowed into the bank to retrieve it, the mini slip paper roll got twisted in the machine. Made up a paperback book tonight. Really pleased with it. Took ages to get the material together for tomorrow’s Mind session due to the sonic assault from Rollins Band live at Gluepot, New Zealand 1990 from YouTube. Out There. Do It. Move Right In. Crazy Lover. Ghost Rider. Hard. What Am I Doing Here? Classic gig. The good old days. Ah well…11.15pm.

Thursday 17th October 2013

Held up well today. Hilarious workshop in Consett. All the writers really on form. Lots of invention. Then a ride to Durham for an informal café session with a couple of Waddy writers. Bus home kept stalling at every junction. It’s fucking freezing in Cellar Twelve. Watched some vids on how money works or doesn’t and why the dollar is being rejected round the world. Listened to a bit of Anna Calvi. She’s no Diamanda or Jill Tracy, but dramatic nevertheless. 10.09pm.

Friday 18th October 2013

Toyah gig in Newcastle was awesome! She is one energetic woman. Her vocals were brilliant and she can still throw great theatrical shapes as well. Plenty songs from Love is the Law: title track, Broken Diamonds, Rebel Run, The Vow. Then Thunder, Mystery, Dawn Chorus, Be Free, Ieya. She did about an hour and a half. Then almost straight away came over to the merchandise stand and signed everyone’s stuff, posed for photos. She signed a copy of Anthem for me and I got a little hug as well. Mint night! Dean Calcutt who worked at Theatre Cap-a-Pie was doing tech for the show. Never been to Legends before. Afterwards I got curry and chips, then a Greggs bacon egg and sausage roll which wasn’t very impressive. I’m staying up a little while at Jenni’s in hopes she makes it back from Sunderland JibbaJabba before the small hours. Reckon she’ll have gone for a drink with Sheila and Kevin. Eyes a bit sore now. 11.43pm.

Saturday 19th October 2013

What sounded like a performance nightmare at Whitley Bay Dome turned out to be a very enjoyable gig this afternoon. Jenni informed me this morning that we’d be on with school choirs. I looked at my set lists and thought, Fuck, I can’t do fifteen minutes without offending anyone. Had to edit out a few lines here and there but managed to get away with it okay. Still haven’t done Dark House and Bin Truck without the page. Thanks to Ettrick Scott for asking us to read at his launch too. 8.17pm.

Sunday 20th October 2013

Slept in till eleven. Jenni had an Apples and Snakes workshop this afternoon, so I left Commercial Union House and checked out music mags at WHSmith. They had the New Model Army mag. Lots of glossy pix but I didn’t feel like spending eight quid. Checked out stationary and books then went back to venue with food and read short stories until evening. Stood in for Chris Harland on Olia’s double-header poem. Read some tabloid trash on the bus home. Ate lots of food. 11.06pm.

Monday 21st October 2013

Totally awesome night at the Lit and Phil. Big thanks to Sheila Wakefield for hosting two very fine poets. Lots of candid snapshots fromAndrew McMillan and a belter of a set from Tony ‘Longfella’ Walsh. Blows me away every time I hear ‘A Girl Like, You know’. So chuffed I made it tonight. Way behind on work. Tomorrow will be full-on. Have plenty of material for the workshops. Need to get some rest though. Ordered a couple of books for Halloween from the library: ‘Goth Girl and the Ghost of a Mouse’ by Chris Riddell and ‘Grimm Tales for Young and Old’ by Philip Pullman. Got a mint photo of me onstage at The Head of Steam taken by Darren Turner. 11.44pm.

Tuesday 22nd October 2013

Tired and pissed off. Kicking myself for being bank-scammed on the phone today. The one time I listen to the bullshit. Fuck, if I hadn’t been so bloody tired. Usually I just put the phone down. What a fucking idiot I am. Consequently sessions have been poor today. Evening was gruelling but people seemed to enjoy it. I am exhausted. Don’t like evening / morning sessions back to back. Can’t wait to get to bed. 11.05pm

Wednesday 23rd October 2013

Last night I didn't get in till eleven, stotting headache. Clayport went better than expected. Winged it this morning. just too tired to do a lesson plan. Cancelled tomorrow afternoon's freebie at Waddy. so just Consett Mind in the morning.

Went back to the bank, saw someone else. They assure me it's not worth the worry and bother of switching accounts. Just have to be more vigilant, I suppose.

Gonna take it easy for a couple of days. Very, very tired. Was hoping to do some book work, but I’ll potter on.

Been listening to Motorhead for the last couple of hours. New album Aftershock sounds the same as the rest. Good old Lemmy, reliable as ever. I last saw the band back in 1989. The time before that was at Spennymoor Leisure Centre on the Rock ‘n’ Roll Tour in 87. Five hours walk home with my friend Stephen Clark afterwards. Would go see them at Newcastle next month but apparently they played so loud last time that people were walking out in droves. And what with being down the front at all those Swans gigs over the years minus earplugs, it’s no wonder I wake up each day to permanent tinnitus. 5.01pm.