Fiction, Poetry, Autobiography? - Observations and Intentions

Monday 16th February 2015

It’s half term so I have a day off. Sleep late, fully clothed coz last night was so bloody cold, then out to the library to return nine tomes I never read. I got five more. Short stories and non-fiction. I’ve read some Shirley Jackson stuff – which I found quite baffling – and DOG by Reece Shearsmith from the ‘Dead Funny’ horror anthology Jenni bought me. It’s one of the best I’ve read in ages. It’s really horrible but he slips in one-liners and takes the piss here and there and you can’t help laughing despite the distasteful subject matter. I’m looking forward to the rest of the collection.

   Typed up a load of last weeks notes this evening whilst listening to The Path soundtrack by Jarboe and Chris Force. I’ll try to read some more stuff in bed tonight. Still have three workshops later this week. 10.52 pm.

Tuesday 17th February 2015

The girl on the longboard dances the length of her ride,

carving and spinning, gracefully gliding across the tarmac.

The £1.75 ‘baguette, fries, 330ml can’ combo totally works

at Eat4Less; getting the four-quid three-course meal next time.

Ian McMillan at Newcastle University: that wasn’t a lecture –

it was 75 minutes of side-splitting spoken word brilliance.

I try to digest fiction but three pages in I fall asleep.

Then read a poetry collection cover to cover in one sitting.

Cross-legged on the black duvet; THRILL Longboard

Magazine makes me pine for springtime. 11.00 pm.

Wenesday 18th February 2015

Café OTO emailed today, apologized for the late start at the Jarboe gig last weekend, offered me a complimentary ticket to a gig of my choice at the venue and said I should get in touch with the promoter Chaos Theory for a refund on the show I had to leave early. Lydia Lunch is playing Café OTO in June, but I don’t want to risk the same situation again.

   In Durham bus station today a woman covered In a curtain from a charity shop was lying on a steel bench telling two police officers she wanted to go home. I heard the word ‘overdose’ but no paramedics arrived in the 15 minutes I was there.

   Both workshops went well today. I have prepped for tomorrow, but subject to change. I wrote a bunch of new first drafts this evening. Hope I get time to type them up soon. 11.09 pm.

Thursday 19th February 2015

Sessions have been good this week. Mind was brilliant. Just seems to carry its own momentum and I only use half of what I prep. Still, rather be safe than sorry. Checked out some horror / thriller films at HMV this evening. Mint time at THE STANZA. All the guests were good. Leila Hussein, Julie Egdell and Andy Willoughby. Lots of great open mic too. The room was really sweltering. I did a poem. Asked the audience if they wanted grim shit or something about a table. They went for the table. My favourite poem of the night was the fifty shades socio-political piece by Alix Alixandra. Really well structured, hard hitting. She should put a book out as well as a debut album. Sat with Valerie Laws. Jenni wasn’t there till the end. She’d been drinking with the Jesus and Mary Chain the night before then on to an overnight party. I saw her to the bus that stops right by her house and told her to go to bed. I’m on the 45 to Consett. Going to Tesco then a walk home. 11.30 pm.

Friday 20th February 2015

It’s a SLOG edit day. But I made the mistake of leaving the internet on, so I’ve been checking updates and booking Poetry Jam guests as well as chipping away at the typesetting. A lot of the notes are pretty poor, but that was to be expected.

   I’ve been listening to a band called OTEP. A metal act with a very articulate lyricist, Otep Shamaya. Her stuff is pretty intense, aggressive, - war, horror, rape, psychosis. She’s written some books and is also a spoken word performer. The band are playing Sheffield next month. I could do the trip for just over £25 – coach and gig ticket. It’s tempting. I’m just eager for some intense music and literature. And she seems to have it. Her books are self-published on loulou.com

   I got through two-thirds of the second SLOG book but have omitted a lot of the self referential material.  Was hoping to be done in a total of six hours. I’ve been going for nine so far. Maybe keep going into the small hours. 11.14 pm.

Saturday 21st February 2015

Up quite early, more work on the SLOG as I didn’t finish yesterday. Listened to Otep and hand washed clothes. Out to Consett for some food supplies then me and Jenni watched some lightweight television, stuffing ourselves with midget gems, shortbread, crisps, pasties and spaghetti. 10.57 pm.

Sunday 22nd February 2015

If we leave the door ajar, will it let the cold in – or out?

   Every surface like ice. Two pairs of trousers on and the fabric of the futon chills me the instant I sit down. Jenni is asleep. She has a magic bed. Time disappears when you’re in it. I retired a little after midnight and woke eleven hours later.

   I don’t know what we’re doing today. Probably watching television. A chill-out day in every respect.

   Last night on the bus I read some Otep Shamaya prose pieces. She is a witty writer when journaling, goes hardcore graphic horror when storytelling; and her poetry sounds better than much of what passes as 'the real stuff' published by small presses. A singer in a metal band; a tattooed thrash extremo visceral buzzsaw screecher with a command of the English language to match the university lecturer? Dr Otep, indeed. Some of her views are a little hard-lined; she doesn’t suffer fools, for sure. But I like what she creates with words and want to check out some more.

   All it takes for the poetry to come is a little passion. But it’s pretty hard to get excited when you’re labelled Nihilist. So welcome Armageddon and start the happy-clapping. – no, just jesting. But it does paint the dilemma in glorious monochrome right there, doesn’t it?

   Me and Jenni are having chicken jalfrezi today. Fifty pence a can and same again for rice. A quid for a good fill. And for later, a top-up of apple pie and custard. I’m having a bit of fun pushing the pen on my day off.  But tomorrow the difficulties arise as I’ve got two new workshops to find. The weeks are flying by and my overdue projects are falling by the wayside. A full week at home might work. But I need to peel my gaze from the Facebook. Need to avoid the Amazon one-click, the loulou.com seduction. Need to check my willpower and get the brain active. I’ve not put a dent in Newton Aycliffe or my own Anomalies for a while. Need both completed before NaPoWriMo starts. And of course there’s Jane Burn’s book to get together as well. It’ll all come right in the end...

   Temperature seems to have dropped loads since yesterday. Chills across my spine, increasing all the while. Need a hot lemon drink and a brain with which to think, and a couple of fruit scones or some peanut butter on toast.

   Jenni stayed up to watch a repeat of the live Eastenders murder reveal till after four this morning. Hope I wasn’t too much of a distraction with my incessant snoring. I wake myself up sometimes. But hey, I’ve had a good sleep, it should put me on an even keel. Should get a good bit of work done this coming week. Need some new flash fiction to dissect. Need to do a review of all the MIND writing – coz it’s nearly two years since the first anthology with the Consett group.

   Can’t get over how cold it is this morning. Feels like two or three below zero. But then again, can’t see my breath in the room. Going to put the kettle on, get a little breakfast then read DEAD FUNNY horror stories. 11.40 am.

Colder in Bensham today than last night. Me and Jenni multi-layered, watching velodrome cycling, a spoof Dracula film, Jam and Jerusalem… And then we put on Happy Valley. This is the best thing I saw on television last year. Had to leave after three episodes. Jen will probably be still watching it now, I reckon. Good walk from Consett. Email checks, egg on toast. 11.22 pm.