DIY BOOK NUT GOES TO SCOTLAND

Monday 13th August 2018

Done it! Finished the PDFs, selected various coloured paper stock, re-edited the jacket blurb and fixed the flap margins. Made up a full-colour copy of Anomalies book block. Just need to print for real and assemble before the weekend. Delighted to be told I’ve been accepted to be part of the Terror in the Trees event at Beamish Hall this Halloween. And I have a meeting next week for a series of writing workshops in Jarrow. Anomalies standard version has been a total bastard to get together. The deluxe version is next – sewing at least sixteen pamphlets together and making it seem worthwhile to a reader. I am totally knackered. Tomorrow I do battle with printing equipment. This time tomorrow I should have a hardback in the book press. 11.21 pm.

Tuesday 14th August 2018

Today has been one long fucking stress fest. Two hours to sequence colours for two copies of Anomalies coz I only got four hours sleep last night. Then at Waddington Street Centre I found out there’s no way I can print pages of text on the office printer good enough to sell. Not even black and white, but thanks to Peter in the office for trying. I went to Graphic Print where Darren kindly merged two PDF files for me and enhanced the images by removing all traces of colour from the j-pegs. Unfortunately I was unable to get jacket flaps printed there as the laser printer was out of service. Tried Griffin Print and Consett library, but to no avail. The computer shop helped me out but only option was inkjet so I’ll have to varnish them with hairspray. The merged PDF prints a hell of a lot darker now. Reckon I’ll get a black and white copy made up at home. ‘Laughter to Split Glass’ proofs have arrived. 

11.33 pm.

Wednesday 15th August 2018

Yeah, so no-one batted an eyelid at the bald guy buying shaving gel and two cans of ultra hold hairspray in Poundland this morning. I’ve been squeezing a slug trail of slime from an ancient can of gel for weeks. And hairspray is a tenth of the charcoal fixative price – need something to keep toner in place on brown wrapping paper. ANOMALIES coming along well. Did some production pix this afternoon whilst wrestling with colour sequencing. The laser printer doesn’t like a book’s worth of random coloured sheets loaded in one go and chewed them up. Tonight I fed colours in one at a time. Very tired. Didn’t think I’d be able to get books done for Jenni’s birthday, but one is now built and in the book press; the other has passed the printing stage. Dust jackets shouldn’t be too difficult. Might manage another hour before bed. Off to the opticians in the morning. More joyful expense. 11.24 pm.

Thursday 16th August 2018

Think I’ve worked harder this week than at any other point this year. Up till three this morning correcting PDF page proofs for ‘Laughter to Split Glass’. Out at half-nine for an appointment at the opticians – contact lenses and standard test. The bill nearly took my eyes out. Bought Jenni’s birthday card and a few small things. She will be getting at least one version of Anomalies, gig tickets, DVDs and a Dylan Thomas omnibus collection. I spent late afternoon and early evening typing up a corrections list for ‘Laughter to Split Glass’. Not much wrong with it. This evening I got a full-on industrial grade double-ply card dust jacket made for Jen’s book. Feel wrecked. Think I’ll be lucky to get a colour version made tomorrow, but never say never. Really tired. Swans book arrived today. Be good to find time for it. 11.49 pm.

Friday 17th August 2018

Platform 2, Newcastle Central Station: fifty minutes early for my train to Edinburgh. Quite a relief to be able to just sit here on this shiny aluminium seat and wait; I have two bags of stuff – clothes mainly, and some items for Jenni’s birthday.

   This week has been highly stressful. I’ve been averaging about 4 or five hours sleep a night. I woke at six this morning; was working by half-seven. It takes a lot of focus to complete a project. I sent the corrections list for my book ‘Laughter to Split Glass’ to Red Squirrel Press about half-eight last night then started making up the dust jacket for my next book. I love making my own stuff but it’s a process of trial and error – plenty of both over the last couple of weeks. Been blowing fuses daily since Sunday, gone through loads of materials. The house is a fucking disgrace. Until lunchtime today my living room was covered in sheets of coloured paper and card, botched printouts, glue brushes, cloth, greyboard, craft tools and discarded paste-up sheets. Finding a pencil eraser was murder. Biting my tongue when making slip-ups, due to fatigue, damn near impossible; the air frequently blue with Fs and Cs. I work right by the window at the drop-leaf table – same one for over 25 years now – and it must be a bit odd for passersby to hear the man who never speaks outside just randomly explode as he throws stuff across the room. But I am pleased to have made a good copy of ANOMALIES 1989-2014 and am looking forward to the launch of the aforementioned 'Laughter to Split Glass' here in Newcastle at the Lit & Phil.

   Right now, I’m concerned about the rate at which funds are leaving my bank account. I’ve been between paid gigs for a couple of months now. I don’t start again till mid September. There is a possibility that I won’t be paid until the end of October. A number of proposed projects fell through. At forty-eight years of age, some people might be thinking about their retirement and looking forward to reaping the rewards of a pension plan in the next decade. I have no such strategy in place for old age. In a couple of months I will be employed as a ‘Scare Actor’ for a live outdoor Halloween event. I’m not an actor, but I’ve been told I can be quite frightening at times. Come October, I’ll be expected to terrify in the trees for up to five hours nightly as part of a woodland zombie crew three nights a week. I’m pleased about the new revenue stream to supplement the writing workshops. And the horror show will be a way to let off steam legitimately. I have a month to get more acquainted with the zombie genre and to build up my stamina. I will be riding my 27-speed mountain bike to Beamish and back to save myself in excess of twenty pounds on buses and taxis per day. Need to keep fit for the whole month.

   Tonight I’m a little subdued. I don’t really want to think too much about work. I brought a biography of musical group Swans for the train journey. But I’m a bit knackered. The weather has turned autumnal so I’m pleased I’ve brought my leather jacket. The cargo shorts I packed are probably a bad idea for Edinburgh, a city where the weather changes every twenty minutes. I haven’t seen Jenni for nearly three weeks. I’ll be staying at her friend Caroline’s house till Tuesday. Four days is a pretty long time for me to be away from my little routine. Last time I was at the Free Fringe festival was three years ago. I’m going to Scotland for Jenni’s birthday. I can only take in one or two Fringe shows a day before my brain shuts down. I’m meeting Jenni in The Banshee Labyrinth a little after half-nine. My train gets to Waverley around ten-past. It’s not due to leave Newcastle for nearly half an hour. I’m tired, subdued and hope I pick up in the next couple of hours. 7.13 pm.

Saturday 18th August 2018

Good first day in Edinburgh. Wrote a few pages from a NaPoWriMo 2016 prompt this morning. Caroline made pancakes for breakfast. Never had them for years; maple syrup, blackcurrant compot and salted caramel. Jenni was a guest on ‘What’s in the Box’ panel show at midday with Stephen Frizzle and friends in a venue called Sneaky Pete’s. We’ve been in the Banshee for most of the day. Had a tuna and cucumber sandwich and a mince pasty, plus some dark chocolate. Met some good people. Saw Other Voices spoken word show – Jenni, Rose Condo, Leyla Josephine plus others. This evening I’m sitting at a table with loads of poets and performers. Going to see ‘A Brief History of Petty Crime’ at ten to eight, then ‘Poetry Versus…’ at nine. OK. 6.55 pm.

Sunday 19th August 2018

Jenni loved her birthday presents. The books prompted quite a bit of interest from Caroline and her sister. Had a good time in town; went to see Michael Wilson’s show on mental health. Really brought back memories of nineties hypomanic episodes and being in hospital. I bought his pamphlet 'After All Tomorrow's After Parties'. Then off to The Banshee for another ‘Other Voices’ poetry show, then chilled for an hour.

   We had a slow walk up to the BBC Slam Final. Over three hundred in the tent, I reckon. Finalists were Will Saili Katebe. Jasmine Gardosi, Louise Fazackerley Nafeesa Hamid, Jess Green and Casey Baily. So chuffed Jess Green won. The runner up Will Saili Katebe was good, but Jess’s Jeremy Corbyn love poem nailed it. Put that on iPlayer, you bastards! Standing ovation from me, Jenni, Sara Hirsh and a number of others.

   Walked in the rain down to Cowgate with Jenni, got us chips and curry sauce then back to the Banshee for an hour waiting for ‘Poetry Versus…’ to start. Dan Simpson against Paula Varjack. Funny love poems, identity poems. Then a round where they had to perform kids’ poems with song melodies. Dan did Owl and the Pussycat to the tune of Lola by The Kinks. Paula did The Cat in the Hat to the tune of Radiohead’s Creep. Can’t even remember who won now. Or the name of the poet who did a feature set. My memory is lousy. 10.05 pm.

Monday 20th August 2018

Caroline made Jenni a carrot cake. Rich, moist; juicy plump sultanas – lush. We had huge slices of it for breakfast. I ate more at lunchtime. Loved it. I read a bit of the Swans biography while Jenni did her social media stuff. Then a brisk walk in the sunshine to the city centre. Saw ‘Horror’ - classic literature as spoken word - at the Banshee Labyrinth. I got kind of sleepy with it, but enjoyed Baudelaire, Georg Trakl and Bram Stoker stuff. The Raven by Poe is a bit long for me. Afterwards we went for a walk down the Royal Mile to the Scottish Parliament and sat on a bench, looking over at the hills. A nearby child was splashing about in the water. We checked out a record shop on the way back. Saw some good rarities – Lou Reed and The Mission – reasonably priced. We went to see Andrew O’Neill in The Annexe at the Liquid Rooms. Really funny guy. Probably my favourite comedian now. Enjoyed the mix of politics, bizarre nonsense and heavy metal references. Jenni liked him too. I’m short of money but put a fiver in his bucket. Told him I know his friend, Ali Lee.

   Me and Jenni went for food after that. I tried macaroni cheese pie, but not that struck by it – nor the fiery chilli dog and cheese. Pleased I had my Tesco reduced price all-day breakfast triple sandwich with me…

   We went to see Dan Simpson’s ‘Worried Face Emoji’ show. It had some good poems in it, but difficult to top Andrew O’Neill. Sat in the bar till nine afterwards, then saw another ‘Poetry Versus…’show. This time it was Harry Baker against Mark Grist plus BBC Slam Champion Jess Green. Then we saw the hilarious ‘Dear Diary’ show at ten. Can’t remember the performer’s name, but she read bits from her teenage diary about romance and Catholicism in Ireland. She had musical interludes and we all sang along to Nothing Compare to You. Thanks to Jenni for getting us to all the shows. Great day. 11.35 pm.

Tuesday 21st August 2018

More carrot cake for breakfast. Relaxed walk into Edinburgh city centre. Jenni took me down to the Scottish Poetry Library. Checked out some recent magazines and started looking at individual author collections, but only managed to get as far as the ‘D’ section. The amount of books available there is massive. I’ll need to go back for a whole day sometime. Saw Tina Sederholm’s ‘Everything Wrong With You Is Beautiful’ – which was moving and inspiring – then Jenni helped me find platform 19 at Waverley and got me on the 2.09 pm back to Newcastle. Read a bit of Swans biography on the way but a family got on at Berwick with a lively infant son who sat next to me, armed with chocolate milkshake… Got a large sheet of greyboard from Details off Westgate Road cut down for hardback book covers then bus home. Tonight I tweaked the corrections list again for ‘Laughter to Split Glass’. Internet is really fucking slow. Jenni messaged to ask if I got home okay. Rarrrgghhh! 11.37 pm.

Wednesday 22nd August 2018

Up early for a meeting with Lisa from Tyneside Mind in Consett Library to discuss workshops I’m doing in Jarrow this October. Then spent my last three quid cash in Aldi on mixed peppers, pickled onions, beetroot and bread. Then home for a day of admin that turned out to be hour after hour of trying to fix a book blurb. Asked Jenni’s opinion and ran it by Stephen Clark as well… Very little money coming in until October. Hope I sell some books. Listened to ‘Cop’ by Swans and read more of the band’s biography. Had a salad. Got the Poetry Jam Facebook event page sorted. Tired and anxious. 11.32 pm.

Thursday 24th August 2018

Woke this morning with a churning gut and a flawed blurb line niggling me. Keyed in some Edinburgh notes. Latest ‘Laughter to Split Glass’ proofs came through. I responded promptly. Just a final PDF proof of the cover and it should be good to go to the printer. I messaged Stephen about the new Swans album due to be recorded next March. Jenni gave me the heads up on Jess Green meeting Jeremy Corbyn. I’m chuffed for her. She was mint at the BBC Slam last Sunday. Been reading Swans book again; through the really brutal period, now up to The Burning World. I saw them three times in the summer of 1989. Amazing. 10.31 pm.

Friday 24th August 2018

More relaxed day. Expected final proof from Gerry for book cover but nothing here for me yet. I tried to get the grass cut this afternoon, but as soon as I got the mower out the rain started. So I stayed in to read the Swans book. Really great contributions from all the players. Jarboe is fantastic. The story peters out a bit for me after 1997 finale. Some of the Angels of Light stuff is good and the impulse to reiterate Swans in 2010, but after ‘My Father Will Guide Me up a Rope to the Sky’ I kind of lost interest in the band. Sprawling epic 25 minute soundscapes don’t do it for me, unfortunately. Hope the next album is a return to narrative song structure. 9.15 pm.

Saturday 25th August 2018

'Laughter...' book cover proof in at eleven. Made notes and returned around two o’clock. Went into town for much needed food supplies. Had a cheese sandwich, cake, orange, crisps for tea. Chuffed to see there’s a zombie film on C4 tomorrow. Thought about Jill Janus (of metal band Huntress) who recently committed suicide. Listened to Bad Pollyanna. 11.25 pm.

Sunday 26th August 2018

Been awake quite a while. I want to get the grass cut before it rains again. But I don’t like doing it at weekends when people are off work. They put in a five- or six-day week then have to listen to power tools droning away on their day/s off…

   I need to start going out on the bike again. Probably best to do it today, because as tomorrow isn’t a bank holiday in Scotland I may need to be online for updates from Red Squirrel Press. I can spend all of next week putting my book launch set together. Or sets. I’m not sure if it’s one long or two short.

   I want to read the Swans book again. I want to make notes on bits and pieces in order to quote accurately. Last night I tried to find the page where Jarboe says something like: “But don’t you understand? Everyone on this stage wants to kills you, Michael.” – I thought it was in the 1995-1997 section. I’ve been skimming right-side pages, but it may be a left. And although interviewees’ names are in bold, it may be an anecdote by someone else quoting Jarboe.

LATER: Rain stopped garden and bike activity. I read some do’s and don’ts for short fiction. Cool to eat veggie burger, chocolate, kettle chips and watch World War Z as zombie research for Terror in the Trees. The laboratory scenes were most useful. 11.39 pm.