SEVEN DAYS

Monday 11th February 2019
  
Didn’t go to bed till after one but awake before eight. Wrote a To Do list for the week in morning pages. So much for this year’s ‘let’s do short fiction before breakfast’ resolution. Sorted papers for a lesson plan, did alterations to personalised gift version of Anomalies Standard to be printed at Waddington Street Centre tomorrow. Bacon and eggs fry-up. Cleaned steel-capped boots worn for Terror in the Trees last October. Packed bags and rode in unusually warm weather to Gateshead. Showered, ate porridge. Chatted with Jenni then out to Lit & Phil Fundraiser: Charlie Gracie, Brian Whittingham, Colin Will and Tom Kelly - great stories and poems. Won a bottle of brandy in the raffle. Gave it to Jenni at Arch Sixteen Open Mic. She was going to perform but changed her mind. Good to see Ken Brady do stand-up. Ate pot noodle and chocolate biscuits back at Bensham. Looking forward to reading Colin Will’s ‘Word Play’ short story collection. 10.40 pm.  


Tuesday 12th February 2019

Always easier to get out to work from Jen’s place coz I don’t have access to my mammoth archive of lesson plans to extend my pre-workshop doubts about selling people short with lacklustre exercises – I rarely use more than half what I take on any given day. But today’s session was prepped on Friday, so very easy start. Read a few of Colin Will’s short stories on the bus to Durham; identified with the midlife crisis one about buying a motorbike. Had lentil and bacon soup and chatted with Waddy staff at lunchtime. Workshop was short poetic forms and feedback on fiction. Read more of Colin’s book on the bus to Consett. Felt odd having a home pit-stop. Sausage and veg tea. Picked up more supplies then read a couple of chapters of Darren McGarvey’s ‘Poverty Safari’ on the bus back to Gateshead. Found emails to self in Spam folder on android tablet. Taggart is on telly. Burke is fucking hilarious – subtle as a sledgehammer. 10.41 pm. 


Wednesday 13th February 2019  

Wrote ‘Steve Achieves’ first thing. Typed up and online by mid morning. Sat with Jenni till half-eleven then copied out large format ‘(This is not a) Prose Poem’ for Born Lippy as it’s a bastard to read any block text from a printed page onstage. Went through the entire set a couple of times this afternoon. Shaved. Jenni was back around five. We chatted for an hour. Then I left for the gig. Tried to get a Valentine’s Card on the way but couldn’t find one quickly. Got to Cobalt Studios around seven. Found out I was due onstage as first guest of the show at twenty-five past. Didn’t use a microphone so stood at edge of stage. Hard to read. Think I redeemed it with Prose Poem, Fuck Hotels and Death Street. I was a judge on the slam straight afterwards. Wish I had done my set further back onstage in better light. 8.31 pm. 

LATER: Well done to all the slam participants. Hard to score without full range of decimals, but I think Silvar Laidlow was a worthy winner. Enjoyed sets by acoustic punk duo Cherry and Peesh, and comedy by Cal Halvert. Don Jenkins did a great set of rave-themed poems. Good to see Amy Wardley and Tom Conway read as well. Zico MC closed the night with a hip-hop set that had most late-stayers on their feet for half an hour. Thanks to Don, Tom and Amy for putting me on the bill. 11.10 pm.  


Thursday 14th February 2019

Managed to buy Jenni a card on the way home last night and got it written out before breakfast. Good discussions about the poetry scene then a walk into town. Jen went to work; I checked out music mags and books in Tesco then visited the skatepark in Exhibition Park. Looked at more music mags and some very expensive mountain bikes. Me and Jenni had pizza and chips and black magic chocolates tonight and watched lots of Chris Akrigg bike vids on YouTube, then a Jonathon Meades documentary about jargon. Tired now and soon to bed methinks. 10.52 pm.  


Friday 15th February 2019  

Went back into town and checked out bikes again then music in HMV, notebooks in Paperchase and longboards in Native Skates. Did a big ramble piece about it for Steve Achieves. Checked out Young Adult novels, some Bukowski and Philip K Dick at Waterstones. Chip butties for supper with Jenni. Checked out availability of various titles at Durham Library Online. 10.50 pm.

STEVE ACHIEVES #46

Retail therapy without spending a penny.
You don't need to own this stuff - it's only eye candy.
An excuse to get out in the globally warm February sunshine. 
Five hours or thereabouts - starting out by gawping
at motorbikes without engines (AKA downhill and freeride
full suspension mountain bikes - but at four to six and a 
half grand, the 'free' being something of a misnomer).
But it's only eye candy - retail therapy without spending a penny.
And a chance to size up the 29-inch GT Pro Performer cruiser bike.
So is the new midlife crisis really ON? At seven hundred quid not bad
compared to all those other steeds, but really, it's only eye candy -
just a bit of globally warm February sunshine retail therapy.
As is the visit to the failing record store in Eldon Square
that few really buy from anymore - good for browsing, though.
Two hours now, still no money down. Eyes out on stalks
gawping at novels by Philip K Dick - sci-fi looks good on the shelf
but back home those far flung fantasies go straight over your head.
Bye-Bye Man and Byzantium - DVDs that might just make you fall asleep.
Even a box set of Hammer Horror or 70's Armchair Thriller?
Those Tuesday and Thursday suppertimes got quite scary
for the pre-teenager. Go upstairs and the vinyl is so high priced
You crane your neck and feel your pathetic wallet groan:
Thirty quid for bits of plastic that you used to own.
How about the diaries of a sexist rock and roll drug addict?
Or would some low-fi Norwegian Unholy Black Metal float your boat?
Polish, perhaps - current flavour of the month, Behemoth?
Or hark back to the glory days of 70's metal with Mick Wall's
Symptom of the Universe Black Sabbath biography?
How about something a bit more contemporary -
The latest A Place to Bury Strangers cd. Move on, move on!
It's only eye candy - a bit of retail therapy without spending a penny.
Don't even think about another scribbling block in Paperchase.
Get out of the shopping arcade - forget the marble effect paper packs,
the leather-bound diaries, Kraft paper hardback artist sketchbooks.
Piss artist, more than anything. Get out, down the escalator.
Walk round to the back street near The Gate that used to be The Mayfair.
And find Native Skates where the window displays a longboard,
a Kurt Cobain deck, oversized Vans slip-on shoes, bits of safety kit.
Inside it's rack after rack of designer hoodies and t-shirts,
street skaters in motion on a wall mounted video screen, 
Only a few full board set-ups within touching distance.
Not enough old-school hardware for a veteran enthusiast.
Move on, move on - it's all just eye candy anyway.
It all looks far better here in the lovely shop display - 
all just eye candy for a globally warm February sunshine day.
Retail therapy without spending a penny.

Saturday 16th February 2019  

Woke way too early so stayed in bed till about half nine then did morning pages. Didn’t get my usual honey and hot lemon pre-breakfast drink. No chocolate spread so put honey in porridge. Packed ready for the ride home. Jenni got up at midday. I came back via Derwent Walk. Ate toast then had a walk out to Tesco for supplies. This evening I read a bit of Thomas Ligotti but found his fiction a bit hard-going. Watched Henry Rollins ‘Keep Talking, Pal’ broadcast. More toast, hot chocolate. 10.58 pm. 


Sunday 17th February 2019

Watched some Politics on TV this morning and The Big Question about cultural identity. Checked out a new book of previously uncollected Bukowski essays on writing. Had a sausage and veg dinner. Read stories by Colin Will, Gary McMahon and Vanessa Gebbie. Slept on the couch a while. More reading. Cheese on toast and type-ups whilst listening to Hanoi Rocks. Might watch a bit of Red Riding on All 4 tonight. 8.58 pm.