SCARY

Monday 5th August 2019

Negative to a positive. Forgot to unplug charging android tablet so went back home. Got more material for the workshop then back out for the next bus. Workshop was pretty easy. Chuffed that the group were keen to go with zine-making ideas and have started their own booklets. I got some notes typed, did a basic Steve Achieves and extra handouts required for tomorrow’s final session in North Shields. I don’t even want to write this entry tonight. I’m too tired. 11.05 pm.

Tuesday 6th August 2019

Woke from strange dreams about biketrial in the quarry with people from school days then prep for the workshop. Out just after half nine. Two and a half hours to North Shields on public transport from my place to the library. Set up, then a really good session with eight participants. A2Z wordbank into stepping stones fiction composition. Fictional ‘I am’ poems from the group character sketch, Triolet poems and hero poems to finish. Back to Newcastle. Finally got myself a copy of Raymond Carver’s ‘What we talk about when we talk about love’. Tesco food shopping in Consett. Home by nine. Watched Newsnight. Good to speak to Jenni via messenger. 11.45 pm.

Wednesday 7th August 2019

Change of plan due to unforeseen admin. Haven’t been outside. Grass growing all the while. Bike not yet in the shop for repair to back wheel. No book work. Got a bit of a demo vocal done though. And I’ve listened to it about a dozen times. I’ll probably still need a cheat sheet, initially, but fuck it. I’m not killing myself for a bit of spoken word. I read a couple more of Raymond Carver’s stories. Listened to Toyah and Hazel O’Connor. They are doing a double headline tour that comes to Sage Gateshead Hall Two next year. Jenni was in touch. Got some birthday plans sorted. Had to knock off from work tonight for a sleep. Played ‘Paris’ the Cure live album. Did a few more rehearsals. Caught a bit of the news. Android tablet glass has come unstuck at one side. Probably been like that, unnoticed, for months. Wish I’d been outside tonight. 10.29 pm.

Thursday 8th August 2019

We’re due the fucking hurricane and torrential downpours tomorrow so I thought best use of today would be to cut the grass as it’s getting unruly again. Whilst chewing through it with a fatigued mower I thought the weather was too good to waste this afternoon so afterwards I took the Rockhopper up to Parkhead Station. Really warm ride up but chilly descent. Managed to ride on the big ring for the first time this year.  Tonight I chilled out, read a bit of Carver. Taking it easy the night before audition at Beamish for Terror in the Trees. No idea if I’ll get a part this year. If I had more horror makeup I’d have done some experiments, but it’s okay. I’ll just see what happens. 11.44 pm.

Friday 9th August 2019

So today has pretty much been geared towards audition at Beamish Hall tonight. The info sheet said costume/makeup optional so I decided to go like a bargain basement wannabe member of the Marilyn Manson band circa 1995: basically a deranged buckle-booted baldy with a penchant for self-vandalism by way of scribbling all over a death mask with marker pen. I used Halloween makeup but definitely had the accidental disaster look. Not very ‘clown’ orientated but I enjoyed doing the character piece that I rehearsed. I’d be happy to get any part really. Good to see faces new and familiar. Will know next week if I’m on the team. It would be a canny month’s work for autumn. Fingers crossed. Chuffed to get a copy of ‘The Long Hard Road Out Of Hell’ by Marilyn Manson and Neil Strauss from the library. Feeling really hammered this evening. Chuffed to get good bus connections and home by ten o’clock. 11.05 pm.

Saturday 10th August 2019

Shit day. Eyes really sore. Face enflamed. Eye bags swollen. Allergic reaction to horror makeup. Jenni told me to go to a pharmacy. Got antihistamines and was advised to find a walk-in care centre. Went to Shotley Bridge Hospital. Eye drops recommended. Not so bad tonight. But still really sore and horrible. I’ve mainly just been messing around on Facebook. Too pissed off, tired and disillusioned to do much. Going to take more meds and have an early night. At least I got Half Marathon poster tweaked. 11.15 pm.

Sunday 11th August 2019

Feeling a lot better today. Face no longer swollen. Skin dry and a bit scabby. Still took a while to get motivated after the big scare yesterday. Read some of ‘The Long Hard Road Out of Hell’, watched some Manson videos and booked a couple of guests for autumn editions of Poetry Jam. This evening I got my set together for Crossing the Tyne festival on 24th August. Haven’t memorized, but I know most of the poems pretty well now anyway. OK. 10.28 pm.