FEBRUARY

Monday 1st February 2021

Nine hours sleep. Made up a new morning pages book. Phone rang at ten to nine. Was offered a steroid injection for my right shoulder. Bit concerned about some of the dodgy side effects though. Birthday stuff Jenni sent via courier was on the doorstep by half nine. By eleven I was ready to give the bike a good clean. Used a whole Poundland can of WD-40 on the chain, cassette and front mech. After some red pepper soup, I set up a photo shoot for a new scribbles banner. Came out pretty good with copies of my published works alongside open notebooks of handwritten text. I went out on the bike for an hour. Rode around Bridgehill and Blackhill. Mostly on tarmac to keep the bike clean. Rang Mam and Ernie when I got back. Ernie reckons chances of side effects from steroid injection are quite remote and said I should take up the offer. Mam mentioned Danny MacAskill's ‘The Slabs’ bike video. Good to chat. I had curry and chips for tea. Finished the January blog and uploaded it. Listened to Lou Reed and read about Marilyn Manson being dropped by his record label following further allegations of domestic violence and sexual abuse of former girlfriends. Skipped Newsnight. 10.56pm.


Tuesday 2nd February 2021 

Distracted much of the morning by reactions to the Marilyn Manson news. I've been a fan for over twenty years but confess to finding some of his videos too near the knuckle, literally. Me and Jen chatted online about it.  I'd love to be wrong, but I think the shock rock has swept over into real life. Unless formal proceedings are made, it's just in limbo, isn't it. Did he or didn't he? Anyway, it's been too fucking cold to do much. Took me till this evening to get a letter written to American zinester Julia Eff. Didn't manage to make up any copies of Unruly Eyebrow. Too cold to put paper through the printer tonight. Lots of snow outside but it might turn to rain. I wanted to read a bit more of See Through Me by Kevin Brooks but reckon it will just be Newsnight on the small device then lights out. Will try for more productivity tomorrow. 9.55pm.


Wednesday 3rd February 2021

Out of practice with zine making. Took me ten minutes to print one double-sided sheet of A4. WTF! I growled at the laser printer as it jammed for the third time. I had to remove paper from the feed tray and replace it a sheet at a time before the rollers would accept it. Once all the sheets were finally printed, I had to heat my Stanley knife handle with a hairdryer before I could cut the sheets in half, ready to fold to A6. Didn't want the blade to chew the edge of the double layered cover, so had to wait for the glue to dry and trimmed after dinner. I will post out a couple of zines tomorrow… Surprised at how soon the snow has shifted. Maybe I'll get a dry ride to Jen's this weekend after all. I had a shave then read some of last year's morning pages for the next zine. It's a long process. And space is limited. if I want to use the same A6 format as last time, I might end up going for more pages and sewing them instead of stapling. Time consuming. Keyed in some notes on the small device. Read about transgressions of famous 70's rock stars. And a few poems. 10.21pm.


Thursday 4th February 2021

Wet walk to Consett. Posted two copies of Unruly Eyebrow. One to Stephen in Newcastle and one to Julia Eff in America. Airmail costs a lot. Almost as much as the price of the magazine. Accidentally walked into the bank without a face mask. But remembered after a few seconds inside. Got some bargains at Barry's: Kettle chips, cakes, etc. Got home just before three. Had a big full English for tea about half six. Got sick of scrolling, didn't do any book reading. Watched ‘We Are Twisted Fucking Sister’ on DVD. Love that band. The documentary covers inception to record deal; The Tube and Reading Festival to You Can't Stop Rock and Roll but not much after. It's similar to Dee Snider's ‘Shut Up and Give Me The Mic’ autobiography. I saw the band play at Newcastle Arena with Alice Cooper. I'm watching the extras now. Doubt I'll be in bed before midnight. 11.20pm.


Friday 5th February 2021

Wrote about Twisted Sister stuff from teens to present day. Had fish fingers and chips then packed up for ride to Jen's. It pissed down as soon as I opened the front door. I rode up to The Grove on the path to avoid a soaking from passing cars. The first hill always wrecks my chest. Too soon for climbs. Still some ice on the cycle path, slick with rain. I've pedalled through more water today than ever before. Flooding and swampy grassland. Absolutely fucking soaked after two and a half hours on the bike. Took me eighty minutes to get sorted at Jen's. Shower, clothes, bag unpack. Had a chat, watched the news. Had chicken and rice ready meal. Bit of Corrie. Scrolled some FB. Jenni introduced me to the wonderful dystopian world of Snowpiercer. Final 3000 inhabitants of earth on a perpetual-motion train circling the globe. Murder, sacrifice, haves and have nots. Far-fetched but engaging. OK. 11.01pm.


Saturday 6th February 2021

Sad news this morning about Jenni's dad. Listened to music to help Jenni with her mood. System of a Down, The Prodigy and an evening of Johnny Cash. Particularly like the later material, including his covers of Depeche Mode, Nine Inch Nails, Nick Cave, etc. Chatted and chilled a bit. Good of people to send sympathies on social media. OK. 10.38pm.


Sunday 7th February 2021

Freezing cold but good to reread a few Tony Williams flash fictions from ‘All The Bananas I've Never Eaten’. Jenni made a lush Sunday evening dinner. I mainly scrolled and read more about Manson. Guilty or innocent, he's fucked. Enjoyed watching Danny MacAskill's The Slabs video again. Enjoyed heavy metal versions of pop songs as well, also Laibach's Sound of Music in North Korea. Just taking it easy. The Sonder bikes are out of stock again, for at least a month. 11.01pm.


Monday 8th February 2021

Helped Jenni carry some shopping bags up to the attic and nearly put my back and left knee out. Jen decided to stay home today. I had winter vegetable soup and did the washing up. Took me a couple of hours. Got a message from my friend Stephen Clark. He likes Unruly Eyebrow. Second person to compliment my writing in the last few days. Still struggling to select content for the next zine. Enjoyed Corrie and Breaking Dad. Then me and Jenni watched an episode of Vera. I must have fallen asleep for a while coz I totally lost track. I'm pretty crap at long stories. Print or screen. Anyway, I'm back out of bed and feeling chilly. Still concerned that I might have left the grill on back home. Really hope the house is okay. 11.17pm.


Tuesday 9th February 2021

Left Jen's at quarter to twelve after she taped me into my polythene layer. It was under the fleece but on top of the base layers, so I was well warm on the way home today. At some points, on the super fresh hardpack snow, with the sun shining it felt like summer. Soaked with sweat when I got home though. As opposed to freezing and soaked with rain on Saturday. I brushed the snow off my tyres and got a good wash. Full English for tea. This evening I watched a Dizz Hicks BMX freestyle video. He was the eighties guy with the Dee Snider hair and my proper introduction to Twisted Sister; I sold my final teen BMX in 1985 to finance the acquisition of the entire TS vinyl back catalogue. Tonight, I watched a 25th Anniversary of The Mission DVD and read through my second volume of August 2020 morning pages. Most of the good stuff came in the last few days of that month. I'm currently wearing four layers up top, three pairs of trousers and a fleece wrapped round my slippered feet. I might watch Newsnight in bed. But sick of Covid stuff; it's going to drag and drag. OK. 10.35pm.


Wednesday 10th February 2021

Mainly downstairs doing zine work - readthrough and selecting of material. This evening watching news and checking weather reports after Jenni messaged to say overnight temperature will be down to minus six. I listened to Liv Hyde's ‘stripped back eighties’ show this evening. It had some of my favourites in there: Cloudbusting and Miracle of Love. I'm on the lookout for cheap bike tyres. But I think Shaun at Bits 4 Bikes still sells Impac for about 12 or 13 quid each. I'm hoping that I don't perish in the winter chill. I enjoyed a few INXS songs. Never bought any of their albums after 1987's Kick. Saw them at Birmingham NEC in summer 1988. I was on the dole; how the hell did I afford it? Newsnight is all about costs to residents for dangerous cladding removal from high rise buildings. I'll be up till midnight. Only my feet are cold at present. Have a hot water bottle. 11.10pm.


Thursday 11th February 2021

Yeah, survived the so-called minus six degrees. According to met office it was only minus five. But got down to minus seven after breakfast. Hard to breathe on the way up to The Grove. But much better walking on the cycle path. I like the fresh powdery snow. Enjoyed my shopping trip. Got more stem ginger biscuits and cake. And Kettle crisps and Mars bars. Good to get a few small gifts for Jenni for Sunday. Had a canny walk back in the sunshine. Out nearly four hours. Bit tired this afternoon. Watched the rest of the extras disc from ‘We Are Twisted Fucking Sister’. Loved it but felt a bit saddened that gigs in general aren't happening. Consoled myself with the realisation that I went fifteen and a half months between music gigs in the late nineties due to a mental breakdown. This lockdown is nowhere near as tough as rock bottom back in the day. So, fingers crossed. Oh, and the Sonder Frontier is back in stock. Another month and I might be able to order. I read fifty more pages of See Through Me by Kevin Brooks. Had sausage and mushroom bun for supper. 11.25pm.


Friday 12th February 2021

Wrapped up some little presents for Jen this morning. Initially I had to bodge paper coz I couldn't find any of the wrapping paper that I was sure was left over from Christmas, but later got them redone by half eleven. There was a housefire nearby this morning. Terrible. This afternoon there was a power cut. I read quite a bit of See Through Me, initially by torchlight. But the power was back after a few hours so this evening I just stayed on the couch reading more. I'm over halfway and warm in all my layers. I’ll have bone broth for supper coz I only had a cold tea. Then I'm off to bed. 10.20pm.


Saturday 13th February 2021

Up at eight for pages then full English breakfast. Shaved then bag packed. Ace snow ride to Jen's place. Arrived clean and dry around half one. Showered then jumped into bed to stay warm. Enjoyed a cheese crust for tea. An evening of Tipping Point, Masked Singer and The Voice. Jenni is under the weather. I am tired and fully clothed in bed but will soon be asleep. Right shoulder a bit sore. 10.21 pm.


Sunday 14th February 2021

“Big bed day for Steve,” says Jen, “Done fuck all.” Jenni still under the weather, so we stayed undercover. Watched a great documentary called ‘Bathrooms Over Broadway’ about a former writer for the David Letterman Show fanatical about industrial (corporate) musicals. Jenni made us a big Sunday dinner and we saw some episodes of Summer of Rockets. Then Dancing on Ice. Had cheese on toast and numerous drinks. Very warm in bed now. Final Rockets episodes coming up. 10.33pm.


Monday 15th February 2021

Apparently eight or nine degrees today. Haven't done much. We had eggs on waffles. Jenni didn't go to work. Watched lots of classic Corrie. We had cherry pie and custard. At a whopping 846 calories each. It was good to see Song Exploder on Netflix: ‘Hurt’ by Nine Inch Nails, with the story behind the song, then ‘Wait For It’ from the musical Hamilton. Scrolled a bit of Covid; there seems to be a shift towards lifting restrictions earlier than anticipated. We don't want to have to go back to lockdown, they said. Then on the news: We can't rule out a fourth lockdown at some point. Fuck-off with your mixed messages and all the fucking gaslighting. Enjoyed Breaking Dad. Bradley Walsh has a big fear of heights and his son always throws in a scary challenge – cliff jumping, zipwiring down a mountain, etc. Jenni gave me a couple of mint new t-shirts today: Spider-Man on a bike and later this afternoon a Sons of Arthritis - Ibuprofen Chapter – brilliant Sons of Anarchy spoof. Good to be in Bensham. Spring around the corner. 10.28pm.


Tuesday 16th February 2021

Me and Jenni talked a bit this morning about how distressing the ‘I Am Kirsty’ programme was last night. The other two stories weren't so tough. Vicky McClure was in one. Today is Pancake Day but we had pie and mash. I scrolled Facebook and read more stuff about Manson. He now has 24-hour security at his house in the Hollywood hills coz he's shitting himself. I watched some old episodes of Emmerdale and Corrie and tried to watch a Midsomer Murders starring Annette Crosbie, but it was bit boring, so I put The Avengers on. Really cartoonish stunts. Don't think Jenni could fathom what she was watching, to be honest. Then an episode of Minder but a bit disappointing coz it had Ray Daley alongside Arthur, not Terry McCann. Jenni tried to send me some creative writing e-mags but they wouldn't open. I had a curry for tea; Jenni had mushroom soup. Now watching The Accident starring Sarah Lancashire about a gas explosion on a building site in Wales. Another two or three episodes to go but I might get a slice of toast and a cuppa first. 10.55pm.


Wednesday 17th February 2021

Up just after nine. The pages came easy this morning. Just a failed fiction idea and the honesty to admit I’m autobiography or nothing. I washed up the plates till eleven. Jenni got up at twelve. She was a little shaky, dropped a full cup of coffee, taking it from the microwave. We had chip butties and ginger cake, watched Tales of the Unexpected: ‘The Best of Everything’ – in which Arthur tries to win the favour of the boss’s daughter and has trouble getting money back from a shady borrower. Had a good ride home. Dry, warm. Bit knackered with backpack. 2hrs 15 mins. About twenty minutes quicker than previous journey. Cheese on toast with mixed peppers and mushrooms. Read See Through Me. Only ten pages to go. Kevin Brooks always throws in a shocking twist at the end. Newsnight is all about Starmer’s upcoming Labour speech. I’ll finish the Brooks novel and will probably get toast or a sausage sandwich. 11.01pm.


Thursday18th February 2021

Read a bit of Jane Holland's fiction this morning. She used to run Blade magazine back in the nineties and took a couple of my poems. I watched a Jeff Lenosky trials/trail vid. Had a blowout coz I forgot my All-4 password. Watched a thing about sick fucker Adolf Hitler then a documentary on autism. Spoke to Mam and Ernie on the phone. They reckon I might be due a winter fuel payment. Saw a weird article about a lifelike man cake. Really freaky. Tried to watch the news but it just pissed me off. Think I'll get a sausage sandwich then go to bed. Not used to being in front of the desktop PC so long. Got a bit of eyestrain. I'm tired, full of wind and angst. Been looking at Sonder bikes again. Hope to be able to buy one this spring. If not, I'll be making some component upgrades to the Specialized Rockhopper. Anyway, enough for today. 9.39pm.


Friday 19th February 2021

I read a few Geoff Hattersley poems in bed before morning pages, so I cheated a bit. Decided I'd like to read the whole of Geoff's ‘Back of Beyond’ (new and selected poems) at some point today. I read the penultimate chapter of ‘Stay Fanatic Vol 2’ by Henry Rollins: more Iggy and Damned stuff, another ‘more money than sense’ eBay auction and more obscure bands I've never heard of. I had red pepper and lentil soup for lunch, dinner, whatever - then walked to Consett. Quiet out, as expected. But Barry's Bargain Superstore was a bit awkward to get round; lots of kids. Bought more of that soup, Kettle crisps and some ginger cookies. Got oven chips at the Heron shop then walked to Tesco. Only spent a tenner. Pleased to ditch the mask afterwards. Walk home was pleasant. No rain. This evening I read ‘Back of Beyond’ in its entirety and posted Geoff’s poem ‘Readers’ to Facebook. I'm going to have an early night. I might read more poems in bed. I wrote a couple of pages in a journal before this entry. Felt good to jot down a scene. OK. 10.38pm.


Saturday 20th February 2021

Got a good buzz from sifting through books and zines by the side of the bed. Found a great 2018 workshop notebook that reminded me of my abilities and full of stuff that can be re-used next term. Then reading online about getting rust out of a steel frame made me think Surly bikes will be more hassle than I can cope with. Think I’ll stick to aluminium. Reread a lot of morning pages for the next zine. Still a few notebooks to get through before final selections Bed soon. 10.29pm.


Sunday 21st February 2021

Good sleep with less bed clothes. Almost finished ‘Stay Fanatic!!! Vol 2’. Only six pages from the end when the phone rang. Me and brother Mark talked about family, houses, and bikes. He offered me £200 for my Onza Hitman trials bike. I said okay. I had a chicken dinner, talked on messenger with Jenni. This afternoon I biked on soggy trails. Almost fell in the river. But only because it had flooded the bankside. Grass, sand, squelch. This evening I read ‘420 Characters’ – stories by Lou Beach. Finished the Rollins book. This evening is a bit chilly but warmer times are on the way. 10.56pm.


Monday 22nd February 2021

Made some progress on the morning pages rereads. Been in touch with Sonder about the crank set on the Frontier bike. No upgrade for bash guard compatibility currently available due to covid, etc. I’ve been downstairs most of the day. Read a few poems from BANG! SAID THE GUN anthology. Watched over three hours of covid television on a little mobile device. There’s a September 1986 gig from The Cherry Bombz at The Marquee on YouTube now. Anita Chellamah (Toto Coelo). Terry Chimes (The Clash). Dave Tregunna (Sham 69 and Lords of the New Church). Andy McCoy and Nasty Suicide (Hanoi Rocks and The Suicide Twins). Quite a line up. I saw them twice in Newcastle that year – The University in January and The Mayfair in May. I bought the Suicide Twins album, Silver Missiles and Nightingales, on cassette at the second gig. Pretty good country acoustic from Andy and Nasty. Not sure if I still have it. Wish I’d seen Razzle era Hanoi Rocks. Anyway, bed soon. 11.40pm.


Tuesday 23rd February 2021

Due to internet being down for a few hours I had no distractions from rereads of morning pages and got through last November and December. Also skimmed drafts from autumn Waddington Street workshops. I found some decent little vignettes. I have way more prose than I can accommodate in the next zine - unless I sew lots of pages instead of stapling. Which will take much longer. Knocked off at five for pie and mash, watched the news and did some text reformatting on the big computer. It's quite a mild evening. Got a good shave downstairs with a Gillette that Jenni bought me. I am going to her place tomorrow. I took a bunch of Onza Hitman bike photos for brother Mark. He still wants to buy it. Newsnight is on: students paying nine grand for remote learning; Alex Salmond at war with Nichola Sturgeon. 11.26pm.


Wednesday 24th February 2021

Good ride over to Jen’s this afternoon. Even The Grove bank, usually a bastard coz it's too soon in the journey, wasn't too bad. Bit of dirt later on, some deep puddles that I had to go through slowly or I'd get soaked. Back brake needs a bit of attention. New pads, I reckon. Might have to take the bike to Shaun's shop next week. I did the ride 35 minutes quicker than last time. Got to Jen’s at half four. She was watching a tiger documentary. I had a good shower with the posh gel that Mam bought me. Later, I scrolled Facebook and watched the news. Then fell asleep. Later, when I woke up, Sky Arts showed some serial killer thing then a Ronnie Barker documentary. Jen is back to bed. Pleased it's not too chilly. Think we are turning the corner into spring. I'm looking forward to dry woodland trails more than socializing. Want to do more bike stuff. Bro Mark wanted more info on the trials bike. I hope it's okay for him. I hope a new Sonder Frontier is okay for me. OK. 10.58pm.


Thursday 25th February 2021

Slice of cranberry loaf for breakfast. Lentil and red pepper soup for lunch, dinner, whatever. I looked at Surly bikes again and read up on the chain set compatibility for bash guards. Washed up this afternoon and talked briefly to Naj about riding bikes. Jen made fajitas for tea. Watched Gormley and Perry on The One Show. An hour of Corrie. Then Cats – not my thing, I only know Memory. Colder this evening but okay. I read up on brake pads. Keen to get the bike sorted. We are listening to Blood Brothers on Spotify. Another unseen musical. 10.50pm.


Friday 26th February 2021

I stayed in bed to give Jen space to get ready for her dad's funeral. I got up at ten and did a bit of tidying up, dishes and hoovering. TV had stuff on about summer getaways before we even know for sure that there’ll be an all-clear by June. Lots of vaccine passport stuff as well. Adverts covid centric. I wonder if we will still be talking about restrictions next year. Some people are all for keeping social distancing and masks. I say Fuck that. Asap just get rid of them. I'll toe the line till things open up, but don’t like the idea of permanently using bits of cloth over my gob while shopping. Lockdown fatigue? Just sick of winter, really. Soon as the trails dry out this spring, I'll be on them. Pleased a lot of my pleasures, as Madonna once said, don't depend upon the permission of another. Hope I get more work. Had a good walk up to Watergate Forest Park this afternoon. Sat with Jenni this evening. She went to bed early. Vera is on. I'll be off soon myself. But first some Dairylea on toast. 9.44pm.


Saturday 27th February 2021

Woke early and rattled off the morning pages. Did a few physio exercises coz my right hand started to seize up. Watched three episodes of Auf Wiedersehen Pet. Then Rosemary and Thyme. Then standard Saturday evening lockdown fare. I quite like The Voice. Jenni finds the screech of some female vocalists rather irritating. 10.32pm.


Sunday 28th February 2021

Bit of a lie in. Had an orange. Some biscuits. Did some washing-up. Watched 1995 Barcelona Redbull Soapbox Challenge. Hilarious thrills and spills. Then, snooker from Milton Keynes. Ronnie O’Sullivan versus John Higgins. Chicken and mushroom pie with veg for tea. Watched Higgins win the snooker 10-3. Then we saw two episodes of the IT crowd. And Father Ted. Bit of a headache at present. 10.35pm.