APRIL

 Thursday 1st April 2021

Turned on the PC this morning to do type-ups and a message flashed up after a lot of grunting and groaning from the hard drive. We are having trouble accessing your account. Please sign out and sign back in again, this usually sorts the problem. I took a pic of the screen and sent it to Jenni. She said close the pop-up, which I did, then switched off the PC and started again. It booted up straight away - but not with my screensaver or desktop icons. Looked like a clean, unused computer. No Spotify, no email account, only Word 365 – which is only temporary. And twelve hours later, despite best efforts of Jenni via messenger on the mobile, the desktop PC is still messed up. Seems the recent Microsoft updates have erased 90% of my settings and files – no pics or videos, no Google, no internet. Utter fucking bastard. I’m hoping this is just a temporary glitch that can be rectified but I doubt it. Not a happy bunny for easter weekend at all. Sick of it. 11.45pm.


Friday 2nd April 2021

Good Friday, my arse! Not in a positive place at present. Still absolutely fuming about the computer. Can’t believe Microsoft can send out updates that potentially wreak havoc on your personal settings and require full-on maintenance and possible rebuild. I still got some stuff keyed into the temporary account and saved to a memory stick. I tidied the house a little bit from four o’clock this afternoon. Hoovered the stairs, bathroom and back bedroom, moved a few things around to create a bit more space. Had fish fingers and chips then a walk up to Tesco. Took a few pix on the way and some notes. Forgot to take a facemask so I couldn’t go in. Walking home, I stopped off at the convenience store in The Grove, bought a mask for 50p, turned round and went back to Tesco. Much quieter than last night. Got food and was home by ten past nine. Had a shave and did my physio. 2 x 15-reps of everything. I will get some porridge then try to read in bed. 11.24pm.


Saturday 3rd April 2021

Much better day. Instead of Googling the original date of Beckett’s ‘Not I’, I rummaged through the double-stacked bookcase to find his complete dramatic works and in the process uncovered numerous books I’d forgotten about. Time to list every title in my house, I reckon. This afternoon’s bike session was ace. I made it up slopes and over roots without putting a foot down. Was good to chat to Mark and Tracy Speeding as well. Did my evening writing and physio. Jenni is here in Moorside sorting out my messed-up computer. She’s mint with the tech stuff. 11.05pm.


Sunday 4th April 2021

Morning pages in bed. Jenni fixed my email account. I now have emails from 2018 backed up in Outlook. Much better than previous system. We had a lush Sunday dinner. Quorn roast, boiled potatoes. mash, carrots, peas, broccoli and veggie gravy. This afternoon we watched a Pulp concert then had a walk through Allensford Woods. Tonight, we watched Jesus Christ Superstar. Jen went to bed halfway through Romeo and Juliet. I did physio and will stay up for Queen Live at the Rainbow (1974). Seventies Queen is best. OK. 10.55pm.


Monday 5th April 2021  

What the fuck was the weather all about? Snow on grass and cars but dry pavements. Minus 2 degrees at 9.00am. Surely not. It looked so nice and sunny, just like Saturday. Open the front door, bloody freezing. Talked to Jen this morning about zoom stuff. We had the hot water on so she could get a bath and wash her hair. The whole upstairs was warm all day. I keyed in more stuff this afternoon. Went out this evening for another of my walking and writing exercises. Got back at quarter past eight before it got fully dark. There were two little attempts at snowfall. The trails are good now. I reckon I can use the Deneburn trail at the end of Rutland Road just round the corner. I listened to some Peter Murphy (ex Bauhaus). He is totally goth’s answer to Neil Diamond. Also listened to a bit of Bauhaus and three albums by The Cult. Tomorrow there’ll be more edits. Wish I could get the zine done. I’ve done two sets of physio today. Thinking about zoom stuff but I’d rather do ordinary workshops. Hope to read a Joel Lane story tonight. 11.10pm.


Tuesday 6th April 2021 

Colder day. I must have been really tired this morning coz I felt like shit. Very irritable for no real reason. Trouble trying out zoom prep. But I am getting more help tomorrow from Waddy staff. Took a long time to get stuff in place this afternoon. But I got all the pix and notes from the walks inputted. The walk tonight was a brief one. I’ve lived in Moorside for thirty years and tonight was the first time I’ve seen Warwick Avenue, three streets away. I got a sinking sun and a dilapidated garage door creaking in the icy chill. I only lasted about twenty minutes. Back indoors and an extra pair of joggers plus a hot water bottle. The sun was still shining. It looked like August but felt like January. Tom Kelly emailed and asked how me and Jenni are doing. I sent him a Royal Literary Fund newsletter. Jenni told me she walked to Medomsley from Consett via Shotley Bridge yesterday then caught the bus to Gateshead. I said maybe she could get a bike. I looked for some online. Halfords are a bit expensive. Newsnight is Astro zenica blood clots and street violence in Northern Ireland. I’ll get supper and sleep soon. OK. 11.12 pm.


Wednesday 7th April 2021 

Good day. I started in a grump after a dream about teen years kept me awake for a couple of hours. I had a good chat with the physiotherapist. She says I’ve taken well to the exercises and has given me a new set this month which puts the arm into awkward positions. I tried them out this afternoon. They flex the muscles in a different way and seem more in keeping with some of the movements my arms will make on a mountain bike. I started on ten reps for the first exercise because the weight was only half that of the previous set, but soon dropped back down to five reps per set and will build gradually up to 20 before the next appointment. I wanted to bike tonight but it’s quite cold. I had my winter coat and gloves on for my evening walk. It was a three-hour round trip to Tesco via Allensford Wood. I found more trails I’m going to be riding in a couple of months. In fact, probably in a couple of days. I got a decent little page of notes out of it. Not so happy with the photographs (last night’s pics were better) but I posted on FB anyway. Messaged brother Mark about the bikes. Fingers crossed he gets them sooner than later. 11.13pm.


Thursday 8th April 2021 

New physio seems to be okay. No pain in right arm at present. The exercises are a bit more strenuous than the last set, so I’ll be taking it easy. Nice to get a good shave. I wore my Venom sweatshirt and for the first time in over a year, contact lenses, for the Waddy zoom meeting. Not much change to the last term. Other than we will probably need test and trace. I hope that can take place at Waddy or at the College on the same day as the session coz I can’t afford two lots of bus fare. The meeting was okay. I wanted to bike afterwards, but the weather was shite. First rain for a good while. But dry when I nipped out to do my evening writing. I went to Castleside but didn’t write much. When I came back, I had an online chat with Viv Wiggins about workshops, etc. she is doing NaPoWriMo and still acting. I watched Ali Clarkson’s how-to video for doing high drops on trials bikes. I read up on Paul Auster and would like to reread some novels. Had eggy bread with sandwich pickle for supper. Hope to get a lie in tomorrow. Not feeling ace tonight. Hope tomorrow is better. OK. 11.10pm.


Friday 9th April 2021

Woke early but took me a while to get out the house for food. 5 cans of soup. Bread and chicken, peppers and squash. Keyed in morning pages then out on the bike. Some good little features on the Heritage Trail. Big log that I’d like to ride along some day. Some water features. I had a go at riding down steps at Allensford Woods but a little sketchy. I moved some rocks in a stream but didn’t ride the line. I’ll wait until later in the year when the weather is warmer. Don’t want to be ankle deep in water in April. I did a big uphill singletrack from the pump house to a field below Sandy Path. Then through a second field onto the main road. Then an epic climb to the top of the slagheaps without putting a foot down. Took the wind out of me. Enjoyed dropping down the track to The Grove then back through the wood (via Selby Gardens) to Moorside. Nice to get positive responses to some bits of writing today. My evening writing was local coz I was too tired to go far. Watched Ali Clarkson and Katie Kookaburra videos. Now watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre from 1973 on Vimeo. Not sure I’ll stick with it though. Pause for supper soon. 10.19pm.


Saturday 10th April 2021

Slow day keying in recent stuff. Uploading pix. Got a new evening piece online. But much of the day buggering about on bike stuff when I should have been trying to do NaPoWriMo poems. Listened to The Lovely Eggs and a bit of Prince. Been watching Berkshire Bonanza Supertrial from 24th August 2019. The women competing in this mototrials event are mint. I’ve done two lots of physio today. Had a nice chicken curry for tea. Polished off the remains of my dark chocolate easter egg. I’ll watch a bit more of the trial then supper. 10.43pm.


Sunday 11th April 2021

Most of today devoted to NaPoWriMo, eleven days late. But managed to crank out some free verse and some syllabics. I’ll try to stay on prompt for the rest of the month. Besides making a video of a flick through my notebook, I’m not posting any content on Facebook. I’m not even typing poems up. I prefer my outside evening writing. But NaPo is another form of exercise. Had a good pie and veg dinner. Managed to stay off the bike sites for most of the day. I’m taking it easy tomorrow. A few handouts to sort for Tuesday’s workshop. Then a bit of reading and maybe a bike ride. 11.14pm.


Monday 12th April 2021

Bit stressed. A number of the papers I need for tomorrow’s workshop aren’t in the computer. Had to rummage through physical folders to find them. I didn’t get first physio done till dinnertime. I went out for a couple of hours on the bike. It wasn’t a great ride. I was tempted to try a few stream crossings but was concerned I might fall in the water. And with tomorrow being the first day back at Waddy this year, I didn’t want to risk knacking myself. I will have another go later in the week. At some point I’ll have to cut the grass. I reckon the lawnmower will die pretty soon. I listened to the Revenge album by Eurythmics tonight. And earlier, pretty much all the Bad Pollyanna tracks online. I’d like to see some more of the Bonanza mototrial but should go to bed. Was too tired to file photos this evening. Not too chuffed with the last couple of evening notes. Really knackered. Bed soon. Doubt I’ll read anything. OK. 10.44pm.


Tuesday 13th April 2021

Pleased I managed to get through the first Waddy writing session and have a good time and it all go well BEFORE I kicked off about lateral flow tests. There’s no point pretending I’m okay with doing tests at home. Anything the least bit contentious that isn’t 100% mandatory, just don’t even mention to me coz I’ll fucking kick off about it. I can’t help it. I was the same at a meeting when I tore up a pile of printed bullshit that didn’t apply to me. Pretty amazed I managed to do a little bit of outside writing this evening. Was good to take my mind off things for a little bit with the 2019 Berkshire Bonanza women’ s mototrials event. Emma Bristow only put a foot down once in the whole competition. Awesome. 11.00pm.


Wednesday 14th April 2021

Only two and a half hours sleep. I waited till lunchtime or just before to get a reply about my covid testing query, but none came, so I rang the college. The tests are optional. So long as I’m not breaking any laws or treading on anyone’s toes, I'll follow my instincts. Someone told me you stop giving a fuck at fifty. And they were right. If I don’t write another book, so fuck. If I don’t manage to be self-sufficient, so fuck. If people don’t want to know what I’m up to, so fuck. I want to ride my bike, keep my circle small, and just chill the fuck out. Fuck feeling terrorized. Fuck all of it. 10.12pm.


Thursday 15th April 2021 

Despite sleep, I’m still knackered and pissed off. Took all my concentration to change an inner tube on the Onza trials bike. There is a strong possibility that Ernie will be collecting it for Mark tomorrow. I hope I feel a bit better by then. I got some notes and pix at Allensford this evening. Walked back through Deneburn Wood at dusk. Another couple of weeks and it will be light till about nine. I watched a bit of mototrials from Binegar Quarry in Somerset. Lots of riders getting max penalty points In some sections. Will watch some more another time. Need to get to bed soon. Again, hope that I can face some work tomorrow. 10.28pm.


Friday 16th April 2021

Good to see Ernie this morning. Good of him to come pick up the bikes for brother Mark. I am now officially Stevie one bike. The Onza Trials bike and the Giant ‘Jeff Lenosky’ Street Park Trail bike fit quite easily into the back of Ernie’s car. Mark rang this afternoon just as I was coming in from mowing the lawn. He sounded chuffed with the bikes. He’d been helping someone with a horse and was a bit knackered. The weather is forecast to be better tomorrow so he should get a bike ride. I messaged Jenni this afternoon then had my fishfingers and chips. Walked up to Consett and enjoyed the writing exercise. I didn’t stay in Tesco very long. I got a ream of A4 paper. It’s down to 70gsm so I don’t think it will print double-sided very well. I’m nowhere near ready to do the second zine. It’s taken me two days to recover from the wobble on Tuesday, but I’m chuffed to be back on track. Tonight, I watched Steve Jones (Sex Pistols) playing acoustic classics – Bee Gees, Bowie, Lou Reed, etc in his bathroom. Absolutely cracking stuff. Really enjoyed it. He’s lost a lost of weight. I had a good Friday night. 11.34pm.


Saturday 17th April 2021

At the computer much of the day. Keyed in some morning pages and prepped some work for next week. Tuna salad with egg for tea. Replaced an innertube. Must have dropped something heavy on my front wheel and the rim hole has cut into the side of the valve. Words not coming so well today. Had a good ride over to Jen’s. Stopped off at Watergate Forest Park. Riding on rocks left the right shoulder aching when trying to do lifts. I got to Jen’s at eight. Nice to catch up. Watched Not Going Out and Red Dwarf. Had mega porridge with blueberries, sultanas, peanuts, orange juice and cinnamon. 11.23pm.


Sunday 18th April 2021

Me and Jen took a walk in Newcastle coz she needed a lighter duvet for spring. She bought some stuff in charity shops, I mainly stayed outside. But looked at some mountain bikes in Start Cycles. We watched some of the snooker from The Crucible, a couple of game shows and Columbo. Watched TV news for first time in ten days. Did physio with a half-full bottle of water instead of a bar bell. Been a bit tired. Slept a bit this afternoon. Might have Dairlylea on toast for supper.9.26pm.


Monday 19th April 2021

Another less than satisfactory attempt at catch-up. I had a decent ride home from Jen’s. I did the little trail behind Castleside Industrial Estate, which eliminates Lydgetts Lane and riding down the A692 to Moorside. I have a few pains in my arms. I left the physio till after ten this evening, so thirteen hours between sessions and still aching. Took a short walk around the corner and wrote about the green bench and bin next to it. Tonight, I got the Waddy lesson plan done. I hope the material is suitable. Listened to Never Mind the Bollocks. And a recent Rollins interview. He mentions the impact of Covid. It’s easier to follow rules when you can afford to stay at home. Anyway, I’ll be up early to get sorted for the session. I hope it all goes well. I’m trying to be positive. Oh well. 11.13pm.


Tuesday 20th April 2021

I feel like I've had a cushy year compared to most due to self-employment grants. The first three months were probably the worst due to various communication breakdowns - desktop PC, tablet, landline. But much better once support bubbles became a thing in June. The woodland near my home is ace for biking and I did a lot of that. Social distancing wasn't much of an issue. But the freezing cold winter without central heating was a bit of a challenge and in hindsight I think I had major brain freeze through much of it. I am 'teaching' one outreach writing class a week till summer but have no idea if the work will expand or die after June. Was looking forward to music gigs but if they depend on lateral flow tests, I probably won't be going to any. I had a bit of a blowout over said tests last week. One false positive per thousand doesn't sound like much. But how many thousands in sixty-seven million? How many will be messed about with loss of earnings, appointments, family gatherings, etc due to being told to self-isolate for a false positive. Small problem for most, but the idea of normal, at this point, still seems like a pipedream. 10.04pm.


Wednesday 21st April 2021

Good day. Chilled typing sessions got me up to date and a few hours on a poet’s pamphlet. Good to chat to Ernie on the phone this afternoon. Had a walk over to the Gill Bridge, taking in the excellent trail that I hope to be riding tomorrow morning. Was introduced to the sport of Artistic Cycling this evening. It’s similar to flatland freestyle but done on a fixed wheel machine that looks a bit like a cyclocross bike with the dropped handlebars turned upside down. A woman called Viola Brand is ace at it. Backwards wheelies, handlebar standing, handstands, etc. Mint stuff. Good to see some e-bike stuff as well. I made it through two sets of 15 reps for my shoulder physio. Should reach 20 reps long before my next appointment. Looking forward to biking. Good to get 25 evening walks in a row without getting wet. Pleased things are warming up a bit. OK. 11.40pm.


Thursday 22nd April 2021

Good to chat to Mam on the phone this morning. Went out on the bike and tried the steep trails behind the industrial estate. It was bloody hard. To go uphill you need to keep pedalling but doing so on uneven ground leads to pedal strikes which can stop you dead. I got from Hownsgill Viaduct to Bridgehill in ten minutes. I didn’t clean any technical sections today. I made it up off the Bridge at Shotley onto the road but put a foot down. I didn’t ride through any streams. I’m losing my bottle for anything slightly risky on the bike. Maybe I need new tyres. I stayed out for a couple of hours. I’ve done my physio again and feel okay. Worked on the poetry pamphlet again this afternoon. Brother Mark was in touch. He is enjoying the bikes he bought off me. It was good to walk through the Quarry this evening. The place is really churned up. Not good for pushbikes. Had to fight a little migraine before supper. Intended to go to bed but might be up for a while yet. I watched a couple of good Adam and the Ants live videos and some bike stuff. 10.55pm.


Friday 23rd April 2021

Frustrating morning. Intended to get my type-ups done first thing after breakfast but had hassles with remote college access. Posted pix of my gratitude journals 2012-2021 on Facebook. I watched the latest Katie Kookaburra bike video and the TV News. Went out for a walk into town in hopes of getting coloured card for a pamphlet but unsuccessful. Tesco was quiet. I got a few things then walked down to Lydgetts Lane and did my outside writing. Not the greatest but never mind. More tomorrow and beyond. I did physio and listened to some Cult live tracks from 1987. Not my favourite period of the band but Nirvana and Sanctuary were included. And I quite like Lil’ Devil and Wildflower. Love Removal Machine seems like a total error after the Love album. I was going to have an early night but haven’t had supper yet. Anyway, hope thins go okay in the next few weeks. Money, bikes, physio. 10.51pm.


Saturday 24th April 2021

Did some work for next week’s Waddy session. Still need a few more bits and pieces. Read some of the Easington Writers anthology Footprints at the Water’s Edge. The ride to Jen’s was quicker than usual coz I took the Derwent Walk route. It’s dull and boring, no obstacles or good features. I told Jen my news and she told me hers. I enjoyed the music programmes. I went out for a bit of evening writing. Had some Dairylea on toast. Jonathon Ross is on TV. Still got my physio to do. 10.22pm.


Sunday 25th April 2021

Lazy day. Two trips to little Tesco coz I forgot my mask first time. Me and Jenni had pie, peas and mash for dinner. Then went into town. I didn’t buy anything, but Jenni got more supplies. Wilko had 75gsm paper which would be good for reprints of Unruly Eyebrow. I came up with a deluxe concept for morning pages and gratitude journal. Watched a Red Bull soap box challenge from California. Had cheese on toast. Watched a Sky Arts documentary about The Beat Poets. Did some outside writing and a physio session with the new bottles that Jenni bought. Listened to Hamilton mixtape. OK. 10.33pm.


Monday 26th April 2021

Today was good. Big cuddles from Jenni. Had a great ride home. First time this year through Watergate Forest and got no pedal strikes on the rocks. I found some great little trails near Stanley. I did a few kickturns on a proper quarterpipe for the first time in about six or seven years. I rode over some big mounds and did balance rides along a couple of little walls. I still haven’t nailed the full descent of the trail behind Castleside Industrial Estate. I was out nearly three hours. Knew I’d have to put in a canny big workday. Got all the exercises sorted and some feedback for a couple of students. I did my thirtieth Outside writing day in a row without getting wet. Newsnight is all about refurbishing the PM’s flat. Hope I get up in time tomorrow. 11.07pm.


Tuesday 27th April 2021

Woke at half five after a dream about tickets for a secret gig by The Mission. I couldn’t get back to sleep! It rained hard this morning. Was pleased to buy card and endpaper for a poet’s pamphlet in Durham. The writing session at Waddy was good. I overestimated the amount of content required but can use some of it next week. We did ‘Seven Ways of Looking’ and ‘Five Ways of Saying’. Chatted briefly with Mark and Tracy Speeding in Consett this afternoon. I watched two episodes of ‘Viewpoint’ drama. It’s okay but a bit slow. It was raining when I did Outside writing, so I stood in a bus shelter. My pages got a bit damp, but I got some words. I did physio and had a sausage sandwich for supper. Newsnight is on. India looks wrecked. Teflon Johnson looks like he’s just going to keep going. 11.07pm

Wednesday 28th April 2021

Chuffed to get a copy of Hope is an Animal from Alix Alixandra. Played it downstairs and some of the songs on Spotify. Did two lots of physio up to 20 reps. I did eight NaPoWriMo poems. Only the Sijo to fix then I’m all up to date. Two more and I’m done. I did outside writing. Good to hear from Jenni. She has another new part-time job. We chatted online about fitting into the system. I checked out The Art of Aliveness by Flora Bowley. I might purchase it as a gift for a friend. It was good to not have to go anywhere. I watched Katie Kookaburra’s latest video – a 200km audax bike ride. Also, Ali Clarkson getting his 100,000 hits award from YouTube. Newsnight focused on the decorating scandal. I’m watching the snooker. There’s an audience in The Crucible this week. Shaun Murphy beat Judd Trump to a place in the semi-finals. I’m done for today. 11.33pm.


Thursday 29th April 2021

Got up to date with morning pages type-ups and Outside writing. The photographs are on the hard drive and tonight I got the penultimate NaPoWriMo drafted. There are three pages left in the notebook for day thirty. It was good to listen to Alix Alixandra’s ‘Hope is an Animal’ album a few more times today. It’s a great piece of work and I hope it does well for her. I made up a couple of morning pages books to send to her this weekend. I have churned out quite a bit of stuff in the last few months. Tonight, I did more physio at 20 reps plus a second session of abdominal crunches with the rollbar. Listened to some Alice Cooper tracks and a few by The Cult. I’d like to be up early tomorrow to post books and maybe get some new tyres. 11.26pm.


Friday 30th April 2021

Wrapped up two books. Had a good walk through the woods to the post office. Did the final NaPoWriMo poem: directions to a place. I’ve been doing ‘place’ for the last thirty-odd days. Had some hassle with the bike. A thorn stuck in the tyre and snapped. Tried to bite the remainder out coz my fingers were crap. Eventually I teased it out with a Stanley knife. Rode to Jen’s in just over 90 minutes. Showered then watched Alix Alixandra’s ‘Hope Is an Animal’ album launch. Enjoyed support sets from Renata Connors and David Hamet. Alix was on top form and did about an hour. Cardboard Box, Hopeful Twin and The Two Chord Song were highlights for me. Also, a Halloween love song. Hope the album does well. I did my Outside writing in Gateshead then watched television. Physio wasn’t great today. Used a bottle of water instead of a bar bell. I have a bit of a headache. I’m hoping for a decent sleep. 11.28pm.