Good day. I got through a lot of editing. I did my Washington Writing Workshops invoice. I checked out the best Jack Ketchum books - but I didn't buy any; I have too much to read already. I was chuffed to get a pretty solid abdominal workout done this morning. Only exercise I stalled on was Seated Russian Twists, but I managed many more reps in 20 minutes than on previous days. I listened to Your Casket or Mine, Toyah, The Cure, bits of The Damned, REM and lots of Behemoth. I am taking tomorrow off to go to another unplugged acoustic music show. I still haven't ordered bike bags yet. Time is ticking. OK. 11.52pm.
Saturday 2nd August 2025
Great day out. A good look at the t-shirts in HMV and Damaged Society. Then invited to take part in a 'Quite Quiet' gig in the Tiny Toad pub in Heaton - maximum capacity: 15 people, including nine performers; eight of them shared one guitar and I used my books. The songs were great. Many thanks to Jonjo and Pabs. I saw new horror film Bring Her Back at Vue cinema in Gateshead tonight - a really messed-up scenario. Enjoyed it. OK. 11.50pm.
Sunday 3rd August 2025
11 stone 1 pound. I got up late and did some abdominal exercises. Fell asleep with a book in my hand. Had porridge with fruit for dinner. Adjusted my handlebars, brake levers and grips on the Rockhopper, then rode to Stanhope and back. New gears are slipping. First proper ride too. Shaun said they might. Just need adjusting again. I've checked out directions from Penrith to Garrigill. And then on to Consett. Bed early because I'm done in. 9.44pm.
Monday 4th August 2025
Tonight was my first opportunity to take a look at the Flash Fiction Festival footage. The first Kathy Fish workshop is top quality. Some of the readings from later that weekend have audio out of sync. Some of the clips are distorted, but lots will be useful. I will get a load of pics and clips but will need a couple of weeks to go through everything. I uploaded Poetry Jam stills this evening. And the book 'Clive Barker’s Dark Worlds' arrived: it is a super lavish coffee table tome with loads of full colour images - photos and paintings from Clive’s personal archive, with a career-spanning text from the authors and compilers Phil and Sarah Stokes. I'm chuffed with the way tomorrow’s writing workshop came together this afternoon. It's been a good day. 11.29pm.
Tuesday 5th August 2025
Indoor physical exercise naturally takes longer as I put in more reps. I didn't leave for Waddington Street Centre until eleven this morning. Distractions on the bus to Durham annoyed me. Even though I'm going to get off before the bus station, people doing likewise at various points along the route aggravated me and made concentrating on reading very difficult. I know that I'm a very insular person, and connection is often a struggle. I'm not socially inclined. I have goals and an agenda. Anything that doesn't assist in my goals is just an annoyance. Totally selfish. I will never be more than a sub-standard participant in the world… Today's workshop went well. I only used about a third of the prepared material. So now I won't have to prepare anything for next week. The wind is annoying. I hope to ride a bike tomorrow. 10.39pm.
Wednesday 6th August 2025
The lawnmower overheated long before I finished the job today. I just stopped for dinner till it recovered. The creeping blackberry vines needed pruning around the back door and window. The new Writing Magazine arrived. Great articles on horror flash fiction and autofiction. I took the Rockhopper into Bits4Bikes. Shaun informed me that it has ‘chain suck’ and needs a spacer between the crank arm and bottom bracket axle. I rode along the trail by the River Derwent to Shotley Bridge, then on the road to Chipchase, then followed some singletrack to Blackhall Mill. I rode up the bank on the road, turned left and went to Hamsterley Mill garage, turned right again up the road, and joined the Derwent Walk to ride home. I currently weigh 11 stone. I am quite chuffed. OK. 10.26pm.
Thursday 7th August 2025
Great night at Poetry Jam. All the guests were mint. I got a DIY one-off booklet from David Rutherford and a copy of Kirsten Luckins’s sci-fi pamphlet Off World as well. I was really tired before the gig but cakes from James Oates perked me up. It was good to see Hester Dowling deliver a full set. She says no one asks her. Well, hopefully they will now. Kirsten was on top form: lots of voices, lots of theatricality. The open floor readings were varied and strong. Ian Hart had Jenni creased, laughing at one of his parody songs. Chris Short read a mint poem about mental health. He's a top-notch rhymer. Aaron Wright did a poem. Jenni did a couple. Annie Moir was there too. It was really good night. Took me ages to get tidied up afterwards, but James Oates kindly gave me a lift home. 11.55pm.
Friday 8th August 2025
Clive Barker’s Books of Blood Omnibus Volume Two arrived. Different publisher from Volume One, but the same interior layout and the same format of cover with companion artwork. I handwrote a letter to Dave Rutherford about his poems. I spent a lot of time at the computer trying to complete college paperwork, but it's fucking excruciating. I'll be on until the 28th of August, I reckon, because I hate doing it so much and have to walk away every ten minutes. I've been listening to Venom and quite a lot of Darkthrone. I ordered bike bags for the Rockhopper and hope they’re okay to carry half my gear for the big ride. I got another prezzie for Jenni. My bottle of Cherry Active juice should arrive on Wednesday. The bike stuff should be here tomorrow afternoon. 11.02pm.
Saturday 9th August 2025
Tweaked a little poem this morning but I don't think people will like it. Tinkering on paper with stanzas like I did in my twenties rather than chopping prose narrative into neat lines. I got the Rockhopper back today and it is riding well. My bike bags and mudguards arrived for the C2C. Jenni and I watched the 1994 production of Cabaret starring Alan Cumming and Jane Horrocks. Brilliant. OK. 11.02pm.
Sunday 10th August 2025
Jenni and I had a big Sunday dinner ordered from a local eatery. Then we walked into town so I could get train tickets for Penrith. The weather will be good on Wednesday, so that's when I'm going to do a reccy. Big thanks to Jenni for help because I couldn't hear the staff at the station due to background noise. Likely Lads and Rising Damp on TV tonight. OK. 10.08pm.
Monday 11th August 2025
Got the equipment and clothes ready for Wednesday’s bike ride from Penrith to Consett. Only took an hour, but fitting a pair of mud guards was an absolute bastard. The front one fell off because it doesn't fit the fork properly. It fits on the Sonder fork but not the Rockhopper. I have zero tolerance for shit not doing what it was supposed to do. I didn't get the bike outside till half six, knowing that rain was forecast for seven. I burnt my right knee on a hot disc brake rotor whilst adjusting my front wheel. Then it pissed down. I didn't drop the bike off at Jen’s till half eight. I didn't get back home to Moorside on the bus till five past eleven. I initially left Jen’s at quarter to ten this morning. I hope Wednesday goes a lot better than today. 11.50pm.
Tuesday 12th August 2025
A noisy Metro carriage on a loop around the coast and back to Gateshead. The carriage has stopped next to a really fucking intense bright light. Lots of things interfere with me. More noise these days but I had a good workshop this afternoon, even if it was just me and Chris. SHUT YOUR CUNTING SHRIEKING MOUTHS ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT, YOU MORONS! IF SOMEONE WAS MURDERING YOU, NO-ONE WOULD PAY ATTENTION COZ YOU FUCKING SHRIEK AND BOIL PEOPLE'S PISS ALL THE CUNTING TIME! Anyway, as I was saying, Chris and I each wrote 6 or 7 pieces. I'm pretty chuffed with mine. Mostly fiction or about other people. I write enough about myself in the diary. I was a bit anxious today. I'm actually bricking it for the bike ride tomorrow. I hope it all goes okay. The buses were really fucking slow today. Road closures. An incident in Lanchester, which may or may not be drug-related. Tick Talk at Whitley Bay was ace tonight. Lots of great speakers, stories, poems, songs, and lectures. Jenni did a piece about trains. Rachel Lydon talked about living in the moment. Aaron did his Bubbles poem. Gaeran did a moon poem and played Knocking on Heaven's Door. I had to get away sharpish, though, for the ride back to Gateshead. Hope I sleep better tonight. OK. 9.44pm.
Great day out. A good look at the t-shirts in HMV and Damaged Society. Then invited to take part in a 'Quite Quiet' gig in the Tiny Toad pub in Heaton - maximum capacity: 15 people, including nine performers; eight of them shared one guitar and I used my books. The songs were great. Many thanks to Jonjo and Pabs. I saw new horror film Bring Her Back at Vue cinema in Gateshead tonight - a really messed-up scenario. Enjoyed it. OK. 11.50pm.
Sunday 3rd August 2025
11 stone 1 pound. I got up late and did some abdominal exercises. Fell asleep with a book in my hand. Had porridge with fruit for dinner. Adjusted my handlebars, brake levers and grips on the Rockhopper, then rode to Stanhope and back. New gears are slipping. First proper ride too. Shaun said they might. Just need adjusting again. I've checked out directions from Penrith to Garrigill. And then on to Consett. Bed early because I'm done in. 9.44pm.
Monday 4th August 2025
Tonight was my first opportunity to take a look at the Flash Fiction Festival footage. The first Kathy Fish workshop is top quality. Some of the readings from later that weekend have audio out of sync. Some of the clips are distorted, but lots will be useful. I will get a load of pics and clips but will need a couple of weeks to go through everything. I uploaded Poetry Jam stills this evening. And the book 'Clive Barker’s Dark Worlds' arrived: it is a super lavish coffee table tome with loads of full colour images - photos and paintings from Clive’s personal archive, with a career-spanning text from the authors and compilers Phil and Sarah Stokes. I'm chuffed with the way tomorrow’s writing workshop came together this afternoon. It's been a good day. 11.29pm.
Tuesday 5th August 2025
Indoor physical exercise naturally takes longer as I put in more reps. I didn't leave for Waddington Street Centre until eleven this morning. Distractions on the bus to Durham annoyed me. Even though I'm going to get off before the bus station, people doing likewise at various points along the route aggravated me and made concentrating on reading very difficult. I know that I'm a very insular person, and connection is often a struggle. I'm not socially inclined. I have goals and an agenda. Anything that doesn't assist in my goals is just an annoyance. Totally selfish. I will never be more than a sub-standard participant in the world… Today's workshop went well. I only used about a third of the prepared material. So now I won't have to prepare anything for next week. The wind is annoying. I hope to ride a bike tomorrow. 10.39pm.
Wednesday 6th August 2025
The lawnmower overheated long before I finished the job today. I just stopped for dinner till it recovered. The creeping blackberry vines needed pruning around the back door and window. The new Writing Magazine arrived. Great articles on horror flash fiction and autofiction. I took the Rockhopper into Bits4Bikes. Shaun informed me that it has ‘chain suck’ and needs a spacer between the crank arm and bottom bracket axle. I rode along the trail by the River Derwent to Shotley Bridge, then on the road to Chipchase, then followed some singletrack to Blackhall Mill. I rode up the bank on the road, turned left and went to Hamsterley Mill garage, turned right again up the road, and joined the Derwent Walk to ride home. I currently weigh 11 stone. I am quite chuffed. OK. 10.26pm.
Thursday 7th August 2025
Great night at Poetry Jam. All the guests were mint. I got a DIY one-off booklet from David Rutherford and a copy of Kirsten Luckins’s sci-fi pamphlet Off World as well. I was really tired before the gig but cakes from James Oates perked me up. It was good to see Hester Dowling deliver a full set. She says no one asks her. Well, hopefully they will now. Kirsten was on top form: lots of voices, lots of theatricality. The open floor readings were varied and strong. Ian Hart had Jenni creased, laughing at one of his parody songs. Chris Short read a mint poem about mental health. He's a top-notch rhymer. Aaron Wright did a poem. Jenni did a couple. Annie Moir was there too. It was really good night. Took me ages to get tidied up afterwards, but James Oates kindly gave me a lift home. 11.55pm.
Friday 8th August 2025
Clive Barker’s Books of Blood Omnibus Volume Two arrived. Different publisher from Volume One, but the same interior layout and the same format of cover with companion artwork. I handwrote a letter to Dave Rutherford about his poems. I spent a lot of time at the computer trying to complete college paperwork, but it's fucking excruciating. I'll be on until the 28th of August, I reckon, because I hate doing it so much and have to walk away every ten minutes. I've been listening to Venom and quite a lot of Darkthrone. I ordered bike bags for the Rockhopper and hope they’re okay to carry half my gear for the big ride. I got another prezzie for Jenni. My bottle of Cherry Active juice should arrive on Wednesday. The bike stuff should be here tomorrow afternoon. 11.02pm.
Saturday 9th August 2025
Tweaked a little poem this morning but I don't think people will like it. Tinkering on paper with stanzas like I did in my twenties rather than chopping prose narrative into neat lines. I got the Rockhopper back today and it is riding well. My bike bags and mudguards arrived for the C2C. Jenni and I watched the 1994 production of Cabaret starring Alan Cumming and Jane Horrocks. Brilliant. OK. 11.02pm.
Sunday 10th August 2025
Jenni and I had a big Sunday dinner ordered from a local eatery. Then we walked into town so I could get train tickets for Penrith. The weather will be good on Wednesday, so that's when I'm going to do a reccy. Big thanks to Jenni for help because I couldn't hear the staff at the station due to background noise. Likely Lads and Rising Damp on TV tonight. OK. 10.08pm.
Monday 11th August 2025
Got the equipment and clothes ready for Wednesday’s bike ride from Penrith to Consett. Only took an hour, but fitting a pair of mud guards was an absolute bastard. The front one fell off because it doesn't fit the fork properly. It fits on the Sonder fork but not the Rockhopper. I have zero tolerance for shit not doing what it was supposed to do. I didn't get the bike outside till half six, knowing that rain was forecast for seven. I burnt my right knee on a hot disc brake rotor whilst adjusting my front wheel. Then it pissed down. I didn't drop the bike off at Jen’s till half eight. I didn't get back home to Moorside on the bus till five past eleven. I initially left Jen’s at quarter to ten this morning. I hope Wednesday goes a lot better than today. 11.50pm.
Tuesday 12th August 2025
A noisy Metro carriage on a loop around the coast and back to Gateshead. The carriage has stopped next to a really fucking intense bright light. Lots of things interfere with me. More noise these days but I had a good workshop this afternoon, even if it was just me and Chris. SHUT YOUR CUNTING SHRIEKING MOUTHS ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT, YOU MORONS! IF SOMEONE WAS MURDERING YOU, NO-ONE WOULD PAY ATTENTION COZ YOU FUCKING SHRIEK AND BOIL PEOPLE'S PISS ALL THE CUNTING TIME! Anyway, as I was saying, Chris and I each wrote 6 or 7 pieces. I'm pretty chuffed with mine. Mostly fiction or about other people. I write enough about myself in the diary. I was a bit anxious today. I'm actually bricking it for the bike ride tomorrow. I hope it all goes okay. The buses were really fucking slow today. Road closures. An incident in Lanchester, which may or may not be drug-related. Tick Talk at Whitley Bay was ace tonight. Lots of great speakers, stories, poems, songs, and lectures. Jenni did a piece about trains. Rachel Lydon talked about living in the moment. Aaron did his Bubbles poem. Gaeran did a moon poem and played Knocking on Heaven's Door. I had to get away sharpish, though, for the ride back to Gateshead. Hope I sleep better tonight. OK. 9.44pm.
Wednesday 13th August 2025
Didn't sleep well last night. Or the night before. So I wasn't in the best of states to be pedalling a bicycle from Penrith to Castleside. I've been super anxious about it for months. People in Penrith were helpful, got me out to Beacon Edge. The C2C route is much better signposted around Penrith than over my way. I had a couple of wobbles. I think those were due to the heat. Jenni says the temperature was five degrees higher than forecast. She was worried about me. A couple of times, I had to just lie down on a patch of grass till the queasy feeling passed. I rode the proper route and didn't do any uphill pushing. Although I did stop twice mid-climb because I felt a bit dizzy, but I pedalled up all. I had a celebratory ice cream at Hartside Summit. Chuffed. If I do the whole C2C, I'll need to arrive in Whitehaven the day before I intend to ride. 11.45pm.
Thursday 14th of August 2025
Awake early. Wrote some messages to Tony Gadd about C2C. And to Brother Mark about trials biking. Had a long lie-in. No physical exercise before breakfast. Yesterday was more than enough to last me a week, but I'll be doing some tomorrow. I've done little but sleep and look at C2C possibilities for a week or two from now. This afternoon, I caught a bus to Consett, bought food, and some bits-and-bobs to attach a front mudguard to the Rockhopper more securely. I booked another guest for Poetry Jam. I ate a beef steak with salad. My backside is a bit sore, but it was that way even before the ride. I slept a bit more this evening. I’ve done little else. Drank some Cherry Active juice and will soon be in bed. Hope I can keep my momentum and achieve my goals this year. 10.07pm.
Friday 15th August 2025
Didn't sleep well last night. Or the night before. So I wasn't in the best of states to be pedalling a bicycle from Penrith to Castleside. I've been super anxious about it for months. People in Penrith were helpful, got me out to Beacon Edge. The C2C route is much better signposted around Penrith than over my way. I had a couple of wobbles. I think those were due to the heat. Jenni says the temperature was five degrees higher than forecast. She was worried about me. A couple of times, I had to just lie down on a patch of grass till the queasy feeling passed. I rode the proper route and didn't do any uphill pushing. Although I did stop twice mid-climb because I felt a bit dizzy, but I pedalled up all. I had a celebratory ice cream at Hartside Summit. Chuffed. If I do the whole C2C, I'll need to arrive in Whitehaven the day before I intend to ride. 11.45pm.
Thursday 14th of August 2025
Awake early. Wrote some messages to Tony Gadd about C2C. And to Brother Mark about trials biking. Had a long lie-in. No physical exercise before breakfast. Yesterday was more than enough to last me a week, but I'll be doing some tomorrow. I've done little but sleep and look at C2C possibilities for a week or two from now. This afternoon, I caught a bus to Consett, bought food, and some bits-and-bobs to attach a front mudguard to the Rockhopper more securely. I booked another guest for Poetry Jam. I ate a beef steak with salad. My backside is a bit sore, but it was that way even before the ride. I slept a bit more this evening. I’ve done little else. Drank some Cherry Active juice and will soon be in bed. Hope I can keep my momentum and achieve my goals this year. 10.07pm.
Friday 15th August 2025
Not fucking happy. All set to book hotels and travel to do C2C next weekend, but it would appear that I may have a hernia just above the groin. And the trouble with reading up on the internet about any ailment is that you think you’re dying. It could be nothing. I feel sick when I look at it. Am I feeling nauseous cause of the hernia, or because I might have to cancel plans? I don't like the idea of being cut and prodded. I don't like the idea of losing the rest of the riding season on the Sonder and Rockhopper. I'm really fucking annoyed. And I can't see a local GP till next week. The weather in Cumbria is forecast to be good for riding from 22nd August. My personal outlook isn’t so sunny. 11.05pm.
The local pharmacy put me in touch with the hospital. They can't say until they’ve seen me, but I've likely got a hernia. And will need an operation at some point. I spoke to my stepdad, Ernie, and he also seems to think what I described is a hernia. No more bikes, possibly. I'm not happy about this, obviously. Not after such intense focus and devoting a month to it. Really disappointing. 10.30pm.
Sunday 17th August 2025
Examined by two doctors this morning. First wasn't sure that inflammation is a hernia, second said it is. Both said I could keep biking in moderation. I wanted to go out on the Sonder bike, but I'm too tired. I'm okay for a few hours, then I'm zonked. I wrapped up Jenni’s birthday presents this evening. Had a beef steak salad, then nodded off again. Maybe the heat. 9.23pm.
Monday 18th August 2025
At Moorside surgery this morning. I felt really stressed and thought I was going to meltdown in the waiting room. The doctor is referring me for a hernia operation. It could be about 18 weeks. I asked about safe exercises but was told to ask the surgeon. So basically, life on hold until I get the hole sewn up? I don't think so. I had a ride on the Sonder bike down by the Derwent this afternoon. Cleaning pretty much all favourite terrain as well as, and in some cases better than, last month. I felt much better after the ride. I've ordered an inguinal hernia belt in hopes of stopping my gut from falling out and becoming strangulated. I'm going to try easy gears again on the Rockhopper next weekend. Tonight, I got the Poetry Jam event page sorted and a bit more of the college paperwork done. I watched a route cam video of Whitehaven to Keswick. Mostly on cycle paths and country lanes. But we'll see how things go. 11.34pm.
Tuesday 19th August 2025
Out at ten this morning. Read a lot of fiction writing exercises on the bus to Durham. The session didn't take much prepping. I spent more time making a map of the C2C from Whitehaven to Keswick. I chatted with Ali and Dave this lunchtime about hernias. Ali has one. Dave says it's a risk to ride in the middle of nowhere on a bike with a bad abdomen. I'm really pissed off about it, but I had a good workshop with the Waddy people, mostly fiction. Afterwards, I got the bus to Bensham, slept some of the way to Jen's. I gave her a bag of presents, then we watched TV because Jen didn't want to go outside again after a big weekend. Queen Freddie Mercury auction, two episodes of The IT crowd, some Dave Gorman, and Horrible Histories. Really tired. Some queasy wobbles today. Lots of tremors, shakes, pins and needles. Bit of a stress headache. Not much more to add. Hope for better days ahead. 10.31pm.
Wednesday 20th August 2025
Bit of a lie-in at Jen's this morning. My pages were a run-through of the dilemma of hernia and riding. I sent pages to Tony Gadd, who very kindly outlined similar restrictions to his own activities from back in the day. Jenni and I went into Gateshead for supplies. I ate two tins of tuna with cucumber, mushrooms, and red pepper. If I’d been at home, there’d be grapes as well. This afternoon we watched a load of Classic Coronation Street. I left after a pasta tea. Stopped off in Tesco to get more supplies. Been trying out a hernia belt. Weighed the two bags I carried (21Ibs) and had supper. Worked out miles to ride if possible tomorrow. My right hand is being a bastard. Carpal tunnel crap. At present, I don't really want to do much of anything. But I'll have to make the effort. It's forecast to rain for three days. 0K. 11.44pm.
Thursday 21st August 2025
Great to get out on the Rockhopper bike. I rode to Bishop Auckland and back, then up to Parkhead Station and back home. The right leg is holding up okay. I stopped every hour for 15 minutes. I got back home around twenty to eight, having left the house at five minutes to midday. I took five short breaks. So, six and a half hours in the saddle for 66 miles. And an hour and a quarter of not riding. I think that's pretty good. I managed to stick to the Get Directions average time for much of it. I had a bath with Epsom salts. Had tuna and chilli beans. Then pineapple. A cheese and tomato sandwich. A glass of Cherry Active. Hopefully, I'll get over to Allenheads and back tomorrow. Which is about 40 miles. Maybe I can add another fifteen somehow. Then Saturday should be less busy. OK. 10.25pm.
Friday 22nd August 2025
Today was a good day. I rode to Parkhead, dropped into Stanhope, then along to Eastgate. And over to Rookhope. Then a long climb to the top of the five-mile hill before dropping into Allenheads. I stayed there thirty-five minutes. Ate a Moroccan Vegetable pasty. Showed a hiker some leg stretches. Then did a seventeen-minute moderate climb on granny-ring gearing back out of Allenheads and free-wheeled for fifteen minutes back down to Rookhope. Continued out to Eastgate. Back to Stanhope. Twenty-eight-minute climb up Crawleyside bank to Parkhead. Then a fast ride off the moor to Consett, then down to Annfield Plain and back to add more miles. Sixty-one in total, on top of yesterday's sixty-odd miles. I stopped every hour for fifteen minutes to do hand and leg stretches, except near the end of the day. I'm getting the fear now about how roadworthy the bike is, despite a superb service from Bits4Bikes. So many ‘what ifs’. Bath and chicken salad. Cherry Active juice. Mile calculations. In bed now. 10.27pm.
Saturday 23rd August 2025
Up early, morning pages, then started in on breakfast. Got a bit of RSI in the left hand, which is trying to scupper my biking plans. But I said Fuck That! My final of three training days, and so I rode to Washington and back one-handed on a fully loaded Rockhopper. Shaun at Bits4Bikes helped me out with the front brake adjustment. I ate a big chicken salad, then got ready to go to Jen’s place. Chats, cake, Cherry Active juice. Good. 10.14pm.
Sunday 24th August 2025
Big help today from Jenni booking my accommodation for next weekend’s bike ride. And encouragement from Tony Gadd. I’ve covered about 160 miles over three days. I’m as good as I’m gonna be this year. Jenni and I went to see ‘Six’ in the cinema, but I fell asleep for most of it. The bit I saw was great. Tonight we watched the film Calvary and 'That’s Rock' music videos. OK. 10.45pm.
Monday 25th August 2025
I was really aggravated on the bus to Consett today. Someone's kid screamed from Newcastle to Chopwell. I felt like going downstairs to ask why the mother didn't try to do something about it. I am liable to get punched one of these days. I did more college paperwork this evening. I think it's pretty much done except for photocopying, which I'll do on Thursday morning. My left palm started tingling again after wringing out a shirt that I washed in the sink. I've tried to rest my hand since last Friday. Besides a little ride to Jen’s on Wednesday, I won't be riding the Rockhopper till Sunday. I'm taking it to Whitehaven on Saturday. I reckon 10 miles an hour should get me back to Penrith in about seven and a half hours, including rest stops. 11.17pm.
Tuesday 26th August 2025
Good day at Waddy. I made a map for day-one of the C2C bike ride. Whitehaven to Penrith. Then started photocopying final College papers. Still a bit to do on Thursday before the pre-term meeting with the Outreach manager. This afternoon, I had a great final summer session with a couple of the Waddy writers. We warmed up with A2Z stories, then a version of word bank stepping stones, and pass-the-prompt exercises. Everybody wrote good stuff. Some pieces were rhymes, some were free verse. All of mine were flash fiction. A few of them went down really well. I bought my train ticket for Whitehaven. Much easier to do in Durham than the traumatic transaction in the bedlam of Newcastle Central station earlier this month. Ate another chicken salad. Uploaded the Poetry Jam pics tonight. Watched a Brett Anderson (Suede) interview. And some C2C route footage on YouTube. 11.10pm.
Wednesday 27th August 2025
Got the bike down to Jen's with no problems this morning. Weather forecast for Cumbria this weekend looks utter shit. It's the wind strength that's the real bastard. 42kmh. I anticipate a strong soaking on Sunday and Monday. I stayed at Jen’s for a couple of hours, then we walked into Gateshead. I got an X70 bus that took a fucking hour to get to Consett. Add time from Newcastle, and ‘Express’ is a fantasy. This evening, I had a beef steak with my salad. Very nice. I worked out how long it's likely to take me to ride from Whitehaven to Sunderland. It's a lot of time, energy, and money – just to get pissed on for three days. But hopefully the 'showers' will be brief. I'm at Waddy tomorrow for a college meeting. Then off to Baltic Art Gallery for the ‘Words on a NE Street’ homelessness anthology launch. OK.10.44pm.
Thursday 28th August 2025
Got the rest of my college paperwork photocopied this morning. Attended a meeting about new paperwork this afternoon. You’re quiet, Steve, one of the Waddy tutors said. Yeah, I’m frightened to speak in case I lose my temper. And to a certain extent, I did. Saying “If I get any hassle next term, I’m leaving!” probably wasn’t the best way to break my silence. I’m done with hoop jumping… On a more positive note, the ‘Words on a NE Street’ event at Baltic Art Gallery this evening was superb. A great range of voices expressing various perspectives on homelessness. There was live music too. It was great to be involved. Thanks to Steve Wood for the lift home, and to Melanie for the musical reminiscences. I had a little cheese and tomato sandwich for supper. Soon to bed. OK. 10.37pm.
Friday 29th August 2025
I didn't get much done today. But I did manage to buy a ticket to see Suede at York Barbican next February. The Newcastle date clashes with another event, and I've never been to a gig at the Barbican. I said last year I'd love to see Suede. They might be the last rock band I get to see. York is now sold out. As are three other dates. I've spent most of the day prepping maps and other info for the weekend ride from Whitehaven. I am absolutely bricking it. I hope the bike is okay. I hope I'm okay. I doubt the weather will stay nice. I came over to Jen's place mid-evening. I still have to repack my bag. And hopefully whittle down its weight a bit. I’ll be in bed in Whitehaven by this time tomorrow. OK. 10.17pm.
Saturday 30th August 2025
Good sleep. Only woke once before half six. Trains to Carlisle and Whitehaven were great. No problem getting the bike on. I found the harbour quite easily but managed to miss the slipway. I asked for directions to Inkerman Terrace for the Chase hotel. Bike storage is indoors. Went out twice on foot for a reccy. It rained both times. Wind speed is 42 kmh. I hope things ease a bit tomorrow. Eaten a lot of chicken. Going to bed soon. OK. 9.27pm.
Sunday 31st August 2025
Can't sleep. Went to bed around ten. Woke at quarter to twelve. Went to the toilet. Back to bed. Slept till quarter past two. Think I've been awake on and off since then. About five o’clock, I got a niggling pain above the left side of my groin. I'm hoping it isn't another hernia. I've had no problems with this side at all. I've had no problems with my stomach all week. Yesterday I forgot all about the hernia. The weather is shit and forecast to be rainy on and off all day. The bike is sorted. I've been well fed and should be rested. If I'm going to get through this, I need to go slowly. I checked out the start of the route again last night. I saw blue sky for a little while, but by the time I reached the harbour, it was pissing down again with a 42kmh wind just to annoy me. Maybe I'm an irresponsible arsehole for attempting this bike ride. I did 160 miles last weekend, no problem. My bag is too heavy. Carrying water is a pain. I will try to get by food-wise on Nutri-Grain bars and bananas. And hopefully the cooked breakfast will do me good before I set off. I didn't hear any wind or rain until about an hour ago. I've heard cars coming and going. Around five o'clock this morning, I started to hear movement in neighbouring rooms. I should jot down the names and numbers of some taxi firms before I leave, in case I need them. I really hope that I can do this ride. The fear is kicking in. I was alright till I felt that glitch in my left side. It might be okay. My left wrist has been okay all week, but carrying a small cardboard tray of items in a supermarket yesterday set it off tingling again. I've been chatting with Jenni online. Today I'll be on my own. I had to copy out the instructions on how to use the mobile phone because I couldn't remember them. I aim to be dipping my back wheel in the slipway at Whitehaven harbour around nine, but it will probably be a bit later. I don't feel like packing up until after breakfast. All I can do is go slow and hope to survive the ordeal of wind and rain. Why is the weather being such a cunt after weeks of decent days? Maybe it's like this near the coast all the time. I'm struggling. I wish I'd slept better. I hear noises that could be wind or passing traffic. I think it's the wind. If it were just light rain, that would be okay. If it were just wind, that would be okay. But high wind with rain is like pedalling into the wide spray of a garden hose. I was going to say water cannon, but that's probably a little extreme. Part of me just wants to get breakfast and go back to the train station or get a taxi to Penrith, stay the night, and get a train home tomorrow morning. I am an idiot, am I not? Maybe I need to start feeling positive about this in the next couple of hours. The curtains are still closed. But it's light outside. I will peer out in about ten minutes when I finish the next page. Maybe these body twitches are just more of my fears. I didn't think I'd feel like this today. I hope I'm okay. I hope I don't have to call for help. I hope I don't have to stop. I hope I don't collapse. All negatives. I hope I stay happy. I hope the sun comes out. I hope I find energy and serendipity at every turn. I hope someone gets a shot of me with my back wheel in the water. I hope I can sit and just pedal or freewheel, hour after hour. I aim to try. I aim to succeed. I need to do this. I always wake up with doubts and fears. Work, money, capability. Every day of the last training sessions, I felt unable to commit and thought it was all a really stupid idea. I aim to match the times that Google says are respectable for the route. I have all the breakdown sections strapped to my bars on a bit of card, waterproofed with clear tape. I secured the front mudguard with more black electrical tape last night. I want to be able to do the ride. I've done 160 miles. More than enough. I will try to stay on course. Breakfast isn't for another two hours. I might go back to bed for an hour after this page. I might go round to the front door and see how things seem outside. If I can make it to Penrith without any major incident, I should be okay. I aim to just ride as slowly as I can without aggravating my arms or stomach. I have bananas, an orange, and five Nutri-Grain bars. More than 1000 calories. I will see how I am when I reach a food outlet. Surely, I've got more than enough to get me to Keswick. Wind, rain, hernia, carpal tunnel, neurosis. And a desire to see this thing through so that I never have to attempt anything like it again. Survival and triumph. Enjoyment would be a bonus. 6.18am.
LATER: Awake a few times in the night. Anxious. Breakfast was served at half eight. It was nearly ten before I dipped my back wheel in the Irish Sea. The forecast was for high wind. At times, I was blown uphill. Kirkland to Keswick was my favourite part. Keswick to Penrith has lots of long roads. I got to the George Hotel at quarter to six. Had a chip-shop supper and a hot bath. OK. 10.05pm.
Can't sleep. Went to bed around ten. Woke at quarter to twelve. Went to the toilet. Back to bed. Slept till quarter past two. Think I've been awake on and off since then. About five o’clock, I got a niggling pain above the left side of my groin. I'm hoping it isn't another hernia. I've had no problems with this side at all. I've had no problems with my stomach all week. Yesterday I forgot all about the hernia. The weather is shit and forecast to be rainy on and off all day. The bike is sorted. I've been well fed and should be rested. If I'm going to get through this, I need to go slowly. I checked out the start of the route again last night. I saw blue sky for a little while, but by the time I reached the harbour, it was pissing down again with a 42kmh wind just to annoy me. Maybe I'm an irresponsible arsehole for attempting this bike ride. I did 160 miles last weekend, no problem. My bag is too heavy. Carrying water is a pain. I will try to get by food-wise on Nutri-Grain bars and bananas. And hopefully the cooked breakfast will do me good before I set off. I didn't hear any wind or rain until about an hour ago. I've heard cars coming and going. Around five o'clock this morning, I started to hear movement in neighbouring rooms. I should jot down the names and numbers of some taxi firms before I leave, in case I need them. I really hope that I can do this ride. The fear is kicking in. I was alright till I felt that glitch in my left side. It might be okay. My left wrist has been okay all week, but carrying a small cardboard tray of items in a supermarket yesterday set it off tingling again. I've been chatting with Jenni online. Today I'll be on my own. I had to copy out the instructions on how to use the mobile phone because I couldn't remember them. I aim to be dipping my back wheel in the slipway at Whitehaven harbour around nine, but it will probably be a bit later. I don't feel like packing up until after breakfast. All I can do is go slow and hope to survive the ordeal of wind and rain. Why is the weather being such a cunt after weeks of decent days? Maybe it's like this near the coast all the time. I'm struggling. I wish I'd slept better. I hear noises that could be wind or passing traffic. I think it's the wind. If it were just light rain, that would be okay. If it were just wind, that would be okay. But high wind with rain is like pedalling into the wide spray of a garden hose. I was going to say water cannon, but that's probably a little extreme. Part of me just wants to get breakfast and go back to the train station or get a taxi to Penrith, stay the night, and get a train home tomorrow morning. I am an idiot, am I not? Maybe I need to start feeling positive about this in the next couple of hours. The curtains are still closed. But it's light outside. I will peer out in about ten minutes when I finish the next page. Maybe these body twitches are just more of my fears. I didn't think I'd feel like this today. I hope I'm okay. I hope I don't have to call for help. I hope I don't have to stop. I hope I don't collapse. All negatives. I hope I stay happy. I hope the sun comes out. I hope I find energy and serendipity at every turn. I hope someone gets a shot of me with my back wheel in the water. I hope I can sit and just pedal or freewheel, hour after hour. I aim to try. I aim to succeed. I need to do this. I always wake up with doubts and fears. Work, money, capability. Every day of the last training sessions, I felt unable to commit and thought it was all a really stupid idea. I aim to match the times that Google says are respectable for the route. I have all the breakdown sections strapped to my bars on a bit of card, waterproofed with clear tape. I secured the front mudguard with more black electrical tape last night. I want to be able to do the ride. I've done 160 miles. More than enough. I will try to stay on course. Breakfast isn't for another two hours. I might go back to bed for an hour after this page. I might go round to the front door and see how things seem outside. If I can make it to Penrith without any major incident, I should be okay. I aim to just ride as slowly as I can without aggravating my arms or stomach. I have bananas, an orange, and five Nutri-Grain bars. More than 1000 calories. I will see how I am when I reach a food outlet. Surely, I've got more than enough to get me to Keswick. Wind, rain, hernia, carpal tunnel, neurosis. And a desire to see this thing through so that I never have to attempt anything like it again. Survival and triumph. Enjoyment would be a bonus. 6.18am.
LATER: Awake a few times in the night. Anxious. Breakfast was served at half eight. It was nearly ten before I dipped my back wheel in the Irish Sea. The forecast was for high wind. At times, I was blown uphill. Kirkland to Keswick was my favourite part. Keswick to Penrith has lots of long roads. I got to the George Hotel at quarter to six. Had a chip-shop supper and a hot bath. OK. 10.05pm.
...............................
Postscript: The second day, Monday 1st September, started fine. I only referred to my map once. I made it up all the hills but got thoroughly drenched between Garrigill and Allenheads. I decided at that point I was going to push on with fewer rest stops and just try to ride all the way to Roker before dusk. The sun came out before I reached Consett, and I dried out long before I reached Sunderland.
It could be seen as an act of recklessness to ride with a hernia and no support team, but the alternative was to cancel the ride altogether. I figured any physical discomfort I might experience due to attempting the C2C would be far outweighed by the blow to my mental health if I let a hernia keep me off bikes for the rest of the season and possibly the next six months.
I dipped my front wheel in the sea at Roker and asked a passing stranger to take a photo of the Rockhopper next to the 'C' portal sculpture with me wearing a black t-shirt hastily pulled over my Pack-a-Mac. The words on the front: NEVER GIVE UP.
Thanks for reading.
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