I did morning pages then rubbed pencil guidelines off the new handmade books. Posted pics online. Packed up for Waddington Street Centre. Read some stuff for the session on the bus. Set up then two hours of exercises. Home to more book promo stuff. Workshop prep for tomorrow. I’m pleased with the response to the book project. Hope I sell some copies at Under the Arches next week. 10.51pm.
Wednesday 2nd March 2022
Rise around quarter to seven. Pages and bag pack then out at half eight for bus to Consett. No-16 was late, causing me to miss the direct link to Hexham. So three hours door to door, Moorside to the Abbey (27mins in a car). Listened to Charlie’s Choir rehearse U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For. Got set up for my workshop by half twelve. Four people took part. My first time in Hexham for two years and three months. Absurd Words, adj/noun/verb, 26-word story, If and Then, Things I Love (90 mins). I read Dark House and My Box. Enjoyed it. Got a bus to Bensham. Me and Jenni went out for supplies. Had soup and cheese toasties. Listened to show tunes and read a bit of a Bukowski biography while Jen reshelved books. 10.31pm.
Thursday 3rd March 2022
Me and Jenni went to Jeff Price and Kate Fox poetry night at Northern Stage. It was good to see them again. Chatted to Olya and Annie. And Aiden Clarke who introduced the night. Saw Don Jenkins as well. Steve and Pauline May. Jeff opened with a set of poems on ageing. Funny performance pieces. Then Kate did some lockdown poems. Then a break then Kate did some more including some old faves – Sylvia, bus journey, True North, etc. She read a couple from her new book and ended with a Great North Run poem. Jeff did a set from his new book Infinite Threads with accompanying photos. Me and Jen got chips and curry sauce on the way home. Jen is colouring a white poppy blue and yellow. 11.14pm.
Friday 4th March 2022
Me and Jenni went to the Vue cinema in Gateshead this morning to see The Duke starring Jim Broadbent and Helen Mirren. Great to see a NE story in a NE cinema. Really enjoyed the local references and ridiculous but true plot. We were both a bit sleepy this afternoon so just watched TV. Spicy bean burger tea then out for the 8.14pm bus. It didn’t turn up, so I had to walk into Newcastle. Got an X46 then walked home from Consett. Received notice of the energy bill price hikes. Not happy at all. But at least I’m not being bombed out of my home. Hopefully more paid work in the pipeline this spring. 10.55pm.
Saturday 5th March 2022
Started the day as I intend to end it – going through poems and prose for my feature set at Under the Arches on Tuesday night. Doing a piece from each morning pages book, two from So Much for the Sunshine, one from Hypomaniac, the rest from Laughter to Split Glass. Out for more supplies after dark, then timing my readings before supper. One more full rehearsal before bed. 11.38pm.
Sunday 6th March 2022
Changed one of the morning pages pieces for Tuesday. Did a couple of run-throughs. Keyed in more stuff. Listened to a brilliant podcast – biketrial legend Martyn Ashton interviewing biketrial legend Chris Akrigg. Unusual to hear but not see them, given that what they are known for is very visually spectacular. Saw them both ride a few feet away from me back in the day. 10.18pm.
Monday 7th March 2022
Good to get a worklist down and methodically work through it. Postage sorted for the new books. Enjoyed going out on the bike this afternoon. Not back till half five. I’ve managed to avoid much of the world news. Hope it’s possible to follow the chosen path this year. Good to make a new book box. Listened to the new Paul Weller album. Had curry for tea and lots of chocolates. Getting freaked out about electricity and gas prices. Heads should be on fucking spikes. And I don’t have any solutions. Bad knees today. Did some arm physio. 10.57pm.
Tuesday 8th March 2022
Up just after five. Did pages. Read a bit of Bukowski-on-Bukowski pamphlet then had breakfast. Checked messages and packed bags for gigs. Didn’t get to Waddy till about twelve. We did the session in our regular seminar room. Writing half marathon. Nine rounds. Got some good stuff. The bus to Gateshead was jam packed, standing room only between Durham and Chester le Street. Tonight’s gig at Under the Arches was great. Canny readings on open mic. Good to hear a full set from Christine Fowler. Steve Lancaster was outstanding. He should have headlined. I did okay, enjoyed my set at the end of the night. Sold a couple of books. Would like to do a bigger launch. Thanks to Jenni for getting us home on the fucked-up metro system. 11.45pm.
Wednesday 9th March 2022
Long day. Tired after last night’s gig. Bit of an adrenalin rush over last couple of days. I went to do a workshop at Bullion Hall, but the men didn’t want to write so I just backed off. No point trying to force people to do something they aren’t up for in their own space. I stayed till the end of the session and was told I should still invoice for the time. I rehearsed for the poetry slam and had a spicy bean burger with Jen then we went over to Born Lippy. Top night. Nathan on first came across well. The slam was good. I didn’t expect to win it, but I had a fluky good time onstage. And the audience went for it. I’d have preferred the other finalist Sophie to win but Jenni says I should take it. Good comedy from Anya and mint set from Rick Dove. Bit late with this. 12.20am.
Thursday 10th March 2022
Big lie in and lazy day. Last couple of days have been a bit full on. Had a bit of a sore throat first thing but eased by midday. Me and Jenni had curry for dinner. We just watched soaps and Ukraine news. This evening I walked into Newcastle to get the bus coz the 47 was late. I waited quarter of an hour and thought it was a no show but then it came when I was too far away from the stop to run back with my wheelie case. Unpacked all my stuff tonight. Tried out punch pockets on books and pamphlets. Checked updates online and watched some booklet-folding-and binding videos. Concerned about gas and electricity bullshit. 11.45pm.
Friday 11th March 2022
Spent a lot of time on promo for books. Made a pretty good flyer but felt it wasn’t really my style, so I did another. I have sold more copies and am grateful for the support. I tried a third poster tonight but didn’t like it. I listened to a bit of John Cale prompted by a Facebook post about his 80th birthday. Imagine being that old. I can barely afford to live now, never mind for nearly another three decades. 10.30pm.
Saturday 12th March 2022
Posted out copies of morning pages books. Read a bit of Bukowski. Keyed in a week of diary. Had some bangers and mash and packed up for a return to Gateshead, read a fair bit of Snapshots of Ghosts by Jessie Lynn McMains. Me and Jenni watched a singing contest then the news and some TV gameshows. Jenni says I should apply for a Durham Fringe Show. Very tired. 10.17pm.
Sunday 13th March 2022
I woke just after seven. Read the rest of the Bukowski book while Jen slept. Had lentil and red pepper soup for dinner. Fell asleep during episode two of Dodger. Shirly Bassey was amazing, age 85, on Baftas – then it was all downhill, so we watched Dancing on Ice. Bus home was fine. 11.35pm.
Monday 14th March 2022
Made another promo meme for the books but unless I get physical gigs, I’ll struggle to sell them. Starting to get anxious about the energy bills. Don’t bother watching the news. Turned off the computer after a few hours today. Will try to limit my screen time and use paperback books instead, ride bikes and use a manual typewriter to set zine text. Fucking energy corporations making huge profits and doubling standing charges and people choosing between heating and eating. I will try living on minimum power over the next six months. Be more selective in what texts I want to put out as books. I sorted my workshop for tomorrow. Penultimate for this term. I read a funny horror story by Rob Shearman today. And some Bukowski. I had bone broth for dinner. Beans and sausages on cheese on toast for tea. I aim to get a good sleep. I did a bit of physio. Enough. 10.35pm.
Tuesday 15th March 2022
Pretty smashed today. Great workshop this afternoon: focusing on submissions to magazines and coping with rejection. Also, some line break exercises. Bus from Durham was 20 minutes late this afternoon coz an Arriva broke down at the junction just next to the bus stop. I bought a few supplies and was home for burger and chips by six. I didn’t watch the news. I didn’t put the desktop on. I listened to a Lords of the New Church album copied to a C90 from 1985. It had Night Prowler by AC/DC on the end, then a bit of Lavender by Marillion taped off the radio chart show; then a bit of Flash of the Blade by Iron Maiden, a band I never really warmed to beyond The Number of the Beast. I went back out for more food supplies at nine. Too tired to do much. Just eager to get to bed. 10.41pm.
Wednesday 16th March 2022
Today was good. Very enjoyable being at the dropleaf table using the Olivetti Lettera 15 manual typewriter to edit a poem from last week’s writing half marathon. Jenni said I should’ve played a music cassette whilst tapping away. I selected the Welcome to The Beautiful South but got so engrossed in the old word machine I forgot to roll the tape. Manual typewriter is much slower. Tippex is messy and you have to cut and paste with a knife and Pritt stick, but you don’t get a headache or eyestrain. Or use electricity. And you focus on the text without distraction. Think I’ll be getting a few replacement ribbons and cranking out a few zines. The poem came out pretty good. Afterwards, I trimmed some morning pages book postcards, had chicken curry and potato slices then read the first 40 pages of Art to Choke Hearts by Henry Rollins. I’m thinking of doing a Lulu collection of writing marathon pieces 2012 – 2020. 11.16pm.
Thursday 17th March 2022
78-bus to Sunderland took two hours. I wandered through the Bridges shopping centre awhile then looked in Wilko, the only place staying open after half five besides Clinton Cards. I clocked quite a bit of DIY stuff that would be handy to sort out the mess at home. I ate steak bakes then a hot cross bun with raspberry jam. Fruit and nut chocolate and peanut butter sandwiches. Great night at Pop Recs Ltd for Patrick Shannon memorial event. Loads of people out to pay tribute, read poems and talk about him – family and King Ink regulars. Good to see Josephine Scott, Mel McEvoy and Pauline Plummer. Mel asked me to say something about the night Patrick read at Poetry Jam. I can’t remember much about any of the nights I’ve hosted but wish I’d read something of Patrick’s tonight. This 78-bus won’t drop me off in Consett till around half eleven. It’s going to be after midnight before I get home. Big day out on a big £6.20 ticket. 10.17pm.
Friday 18th March 2022
Had a bit of a lie in this morning. A few aches and pains but managed to get a canny little offroad ride this afternoon. Went along the Derwent Walk on the Rockhopper and checked out some of the trails through little bits of woodland. Back home, I didn’t do much work, just some typing. Oh, and I gave the kitchen a bit of a clean. This evening I watched a Joan Jett and the Blackhearts gig from Lollapalooza, Brazil 2012. I don’t think Joan has played the UK for decades. I remember seeing ‘I Love Rock and Roll’ on Top of the Pops as a kid and thinking it was mint. My right shoulder is aching. I’m a little bit bloated from chocolate and bread but the weather is picking up so I should be out on the bikes more. Was ace to see YouTube footage of Ali Clarkson in a trials comp on his ‘fat bike’. 11.43pm.
Saturday 19th March 2022
The hottest day this year so Stevie stays inside finding odd jobs to do instead of college paperwork. I’ve trimmed more Talking Pen stock, prepped content for the final session of the current run. Read twenty pages of When Rain Becomes Memory by Josephine Scott and Zerstoren by Julia Eff; also reread parts of Art to Choke Hearts by Rollins and the opening chapters of The Princess of Felling by Elaine Cusack. 10.50pm.
Sunday 20th March 2022
Arm was hurting this morning. Difficult to write in bed. Think I was dehydrated as well, which can affect muscles. I read the rest of The Princess of Felling. And most of Art to Choke Hearts. Elaine’s book was the better of the two. Celebratory and optimistic. Hank’s is relentless misery and obnoxious psychopathy. I went out in search of Mother’s Day gifts. I came back with ten quid’s worth of groceries. I will try again on Tuesday. Jenni was in touch. She is the ‘Waterloo Road’ binge champion. 11.10pm.
Monday 21st March 2022
Good to get some end of term notes done for the Waddy course. Good to hear Born to Sin by Fury a few times and get a ticket for their gig at Newcastle Globe next week. Went down by the river on the Rockhopper bike. Almost cleaned one of the big sections first go, but my gears slipped on an easy bit. Managed the two water features okay. Neck aching. I watched headbanger’s journey on YouTube whilst copying up notes. Listened to a lot of Fury and did some exercises. Good to get a close shave and have clothes sorted for tomorrow. Good to speak to Mam on the phone this afternoon. 10.37pm.
Tuesday 22nd March 2022
Lighter morning, earlier rise. Arm aching, shoulder fucked. Got to Waddy early then spent two hours doing extra prep. Session went okay, mainly just a recap and paperwork and retries of some exercises. I caught the half-three bus back for once. Had some eggs on toast, offloaded all the paperwork and got ready to go to Jen’s. Buses were shit. 6.26pm from Moorside cancelled. 7.23pm from Consett cancelled. Got to Jen’s just after half eight. We’ve mainly been talking about politics. The shit state of the world. I keep seeing Facebook posts about energy prices tripling for some people. It’s absolutely fucking disgusting. I reckon I’ll be pushed into some shit job through it, coz I can’t afford to duck and dive while prices skyrocket. Will see what happens with the next bill this summer. Must cut computer usage down to near fuck-all. Really tired. 11.01pm.
Wednesday 23rd March 2022
Jenni went to do an interview over the road in The Café Under the Spire and I went to get presents for Mother’s Day. Also checked out some skateboards in Native Skates. Today has been the warmest so far this year. 17 degrees. This evening we visited Sky Hawkins. Then watched a Benn Platt gig on YouTube and some Evan Hanson songs. 11.05pm.
Thursday 24th March 2022
NCD have threatened to sack me. If the online training that is severely outstanding was so important, why have they waited until now to contact me via my personal email instead of doing that from the outset? I have already explained to staff that I have difficulty logging onto the college system most of the time. Even logging my hours for payment is stressful. It would be nice if the safeguarding sensitivity towards vulnerable adults included employees. I’m already on the bones of my arse unable to afford running hot water and now reluctant to turn my desktop computer on unless absolutely necessary due to electricity charges. I do one session a week at Waddy, none at the college. Do they even know why I was asked to work at Waddy in the first place? Not happy. At all. 11.38pm.
Friday 25th March 2022
Got all the online training courses done for the college and spoke my mind quite a bit too. No replies yet. Probably wondering what to do about me. Jenni says I handled it well. I’ve not been shopping again and I’m running low on supplies. I listened to a couple of Fury albums tonight coz my head wasn’t fit for much else after all the bullshit earlier in the day. Some people are still masked up. Some are hating government. Some are just wondering where the next meal is coming from. I am wondering how to keep things going. Looking forward to a ride on the Sonder Frontier this Sunday. 10.38pm.
Saturday 26th March 2022
Good to get a walk out in the sunshine. Stocked up on food. Hacked ice off the freezer. Had a big afternoon sleep then chatted with brother Mark on the phone about films, bikes and energy bills. Aches and pains. I put an old stereo radio on for a while. Foo Fighters. Sad to hear of Taylor Hawkins dying. I read Hollie McNish essays – one about Halloween and one about blagging stuff at food courts and shops. Hilarious. Bed now. 10.35pm.
Sunday 27th March 2022
Nice to speak to Mam and Ernie on the phone this afternoon. Mother’s Day presents arrived safely. Had some major laughs reading about the school days of Hollie McNish. Then went out on the big Sonder Frontier bike. Cleaned a full riverside trail, including two stream crossings. Bike working fine. Listened to a bit of Rollins spoken word from his current US Tour and slept a lot. Early bed before an uncertain week. 10.10pm.
Monday 28th March 2022
Another shit day trying to jump through hoops. To be honest, I think I’m fucking done with it all. I think I’m going to get an assessment for mental health, go on the fucking sick and stay that way. I’ve tried doing this workshop community practitioner thing for two decades – had some lucky breaks and good runs but seems like it’s all over. I’m not a teacher, never was, never will be. Sick of pretending. I still want to write my little self-indulgent poems but don’t expect many people to pay attention. I know I can’t last five minutes in a proper job. Can’t take instruction. Can’t remember stuff. Body starting to fuck up. Fucking sick of it. Fucking covid. Fucking war. Fucking sanctimonious hypocritical bullshitters. Fucking thieving bastard corporations. Fuck it all. Had enough. Time’s up. Ready for a big sleep. 11.30pm.
Tuesday 29th March 2022
Bit better. But only just. I helped a little on the proofing of a pamphlet and gave printing advice. But otherwise, still chasing college for IT support. Still getting nowhere. I tried to finish end of term stuff again and just can’t face it. I wrote to Jenni. She is taking some quiet time for a couple of days. I wrote a letter to Waddington Street Centre that took two hours. Then listened to some tracks by Fury: Breakdown and Born to Sin. I haven’t familiarized myself with much of the band’s repertoire in time for the gig on Thursday, but it will be good to be in the room when they play. I put the computer off at ten. I dread the next electricity bill. Ann Porro kindly ordered two morning pages books today. Pink and Purple. I’m very grateful. She’s ace. 10.28pm.
Wednesday 30th March 2022
Bit better day. Trimmed some copies of Limerance for Sheila Wakefield. Then keyed in some work. Down to the dregs of the food. Listened to a couple of Fury albums, Born to Sin and The Grand Prize. Got ready to go to Jen’s then realised that I hadn’t shaved for a few days. There was a little break in the snow just before nine, so I walked into town for the 47-bus. Waited ten minutes past schedule, then decided to walk round to the ATM for bank balance. Still not paid. Was just about to turn the corner when I saw the back end of a 47-bus pulling out of Consett station, so I legged it down Front Street where it arrived a minute later. Left Consett at ten, reached Askew Road near Jen’s a mere forty minutes later. Jen is out with friends. I had spready cheese on toast and a bottle of dark fruits Tango. I’ll be in bed soon. 11.35pm.
Thursday 31st March 2022
Champion night at The Globe to see rock metal band Fury. I don’t know their music very well, but I had a copy of the setlist a week in advance, so I familiarized myself with the necessary tunes. Me and Jenni rocked out. Was ace to hear top quality old-school-influenced rock played by young people. Always mint to see bands having a great time on stage. Fury play Trillians rock bar in September, so I’ll see them again. Their support band The Filth Hounds were canny as well. I’ve never seen trad hard rock and metal played in a pub before. And it was only £6.60 a ticket. I bought Fury’s new album Born to Sin afterwards. Me and Jenni had a drink in Bodega then caught the last bus back to Bensham. Jenni put on a YouTube clip of the Foo Fighters playing Queen’s Somebody to Love with Taylor Hawkins on vocals. My ears are ringing quite a bit. 11.50pm.
I woke just after seven. Read the rest of the Bukowski book while Jen slept. Had lentil and red pepper soup for dinner. Fell asleep during episode two of Dodger. Shirly Bassey was amazing, age 85, on Baftas – then it was all downhill, so we watched Dancing on Ice. Bus home was fine. 11.35pm.
Monday 14th March 2022
Made another promo meme for the books but unless I get physical gigs, I’ll struggle to sell them. Starting to get anxious about the energy bills. Don’t bother watching the news. Turned off the computer after a few hours today. Will try to limit my screen time and use paperback books instead, ride bikes and use a manual typewriter to set zine text. Fucking energy corporations making huge profits and doubling standing charges and people choosing between heating and eating. I will try living on minimum power over the next six months. Be more selective in what texts I want to put out as books. I sorted my workshop for tomorrow. Penultimate for this term. I read a funny horror story by Rob Shearman today. And some Bukowski. I had bone broth for dinner. Beans and sausages on cheese on toast for tea. I aim to get a good sleep. I did a bit of physio. Enough. 10.35pm.
Tuesday 15th March 2022
Pretty smashed today. Great workshop this afternoon: focusing on submissions to magazines and coping with rejection. Also, some line break exercises. Bus from Durham was 20 minutes late this afternoon coz an Arriva broke down at the junction just next to the bus stop. I bought a few supplies and was home for burger and chips by six. I didn’t watch the news. I didn’t put the desktop on. I listened to a Lords of the New Church album copied to a C90 from 1985. It had Night Prowler by AC/DC on the end, then a bit of Lavender by Marillion taped off the radio chart show; then a bit of Flash of the Blade by Iron Maiden, a band I never really warmed to beyond The Number of the Beast. I went back out for more food supplies at nine. Too tired to do much. Just eager to get to bed. 10.41pm.
Wednesday 16th March 2022
Today was good. Very enjoyable being at the dropleaf table using the Olivetti Lettera 15 manual typewriter to edit a poem from last week’s writing half marathon. Jenni said I should’ve played a music cassette whilst tapping away. I selected the Welcome to The Beautiful South but got so engrossed in the old word machine I forgot to roll the tape. Manual typewriter is much slower. Tippex is messy and you have to cut and paste with a knife and Pritt stick, but you don’t get a headache or eyestrain. Or use electricity. And you focus on the text without distraction. Think I’ll be getting a few replacement ribbons and cranking out a few zines. The poem came out pretty good. Afterwards, I trimmed some morning pages book postcards, had chicken curry and potato slices then read the first 40 pages of Art to Choke Hearts by Henry Rollins. I’m thinking of doing a Lulu collection of writing marathon pieces 2012 – 2020. 11.16pm.
Thursday 17th March 2022
78-bus to Sunderland took two hours. I wandered through the Bridges shopping centre awhile then looked in Wilko, the only place staying open after half five besides Clinton Cards. I clocked quite a bit of DIY stuff that would be handy to sort out the mess at home. I ate steak bakes then a hot cross bun with raspberry jam. Fruit and nut chocolate and peanut butter sandwiches. Great night at Pop Recs Ltd for Patrick Shannon memorial event. Loads of people out to pay tribute, read poems and talk about him – family and King Ink regulars. Good to see Josephine Scott, Mel McEvoy and Pauline Plummer. Mel asked me to say something about the night Patrick read at Poetry Jam. I can’t remember much about any of the nights I’ve hosted but wish I’d read something of Patrick’s tonight. This 78-bus won’t drop me off in Consett till around half eleven. It’s going to be after midnight before I get home. Big day out on a big £6.20 ticket. 10.17pm.
Friday 18th March 2022
Had a bit of a lie in this morning. A few aches and pains but managed to get a canny little offroad ride this afternoon. Went along the Derwent Walk on the Rockhopper and checked out some of the trails through little bits of woodland. Back home, I didn’t do much work, just some typing. Oh, and I gave the kitchen a bit of a clean. This evening I watched a Joan Jett and the Blackhearts gig from Lollapalooza, Brazil 2012. I don’t think Joan has played the UK for decades. I remember seeing ‘I Love Rock and Roll’ on Top of the Pops as a kid and thinking it was mint. My right shoulder is aching. I’m a little bit bloated from chocolate and bread but the weather is picking up so I should be out on the bikes more. Was ace to see YouTube footage of Ali Clarkson in a trials comp on his ‘fat bike’. 11.43pm.
Saturday 19th March 2022
The hottest day this year so Stevie stays inside finding odd jobs to do instead of college paperwork. I’ve trimmed more Talking Pen stock, prepped content for the final session of the current run. Read twenty pages of When Rain Becomes Memory by Josephine Scott and Zerstoren by Julia Eff; also reread parts of Art to Choke Hearts by Rollins and the opening chapters of The Princess of Felling by Elaine Cusack. 10.50pm.
Sunday 20th March 2022
Arm was hurting this morning. Difficult to write in bed. Think I was dehydrated as well, which can affect muscles. I read the rest of The Princess of Felling. And most of Art to Choke Hearts. Elaine’s book was the better of the two. Celebratory and optimistic. Hank’s is relentless misery and obnoxious psychopathy. I went out in search of Mother’s Day gifts. I came back with ten quid’s worth of groceries. I will try again on Tuesday. Jenni was in touch. She is the ‘Waterloo Road’ binge champion. 11.10pm.
Monday 21st March 2022
Good to get some end of term notes done for the Waddy course. Good to hear Born to Sin by Fury a few times and get a ticket for their gig at Newcastle Globe next week. Went down by the river on the Rockhopper bike. Almost cleaned one of the big sections first go, but my gears slipped on an easy bit. Managed the two water features okay. Neck aching. I watched headbanger’s journey on YouTube whilst copying up notes. Listened to a lot of Fury and did some exercises. Good to get a close shave and have clothes sorted for tomorrow. Good to speak to Mam on the phone this afternoon. 10.37pm.
Tuesday 22nd March 2022
Lighter morning, earlier rise. Arm aching, shoulder fucked. Got to Waddy early then spent two hours doing extra prep. Session went okay, mainly just a recap and paperwork and retries of some exercises. I caught the half-three bus back for once. Had some eggs on toast, offloaded all the paperwork and got ready to go to Jen’s. Buses were shit. 6.26pm from Moorside cancelled. 7.23pm from Consett cancelled. Got to Jen’s just after half eight. We’ve mainly been talking about politics. The shit state of the world. I keep seeing Facebook posts about energy prices tripling for some people. It’s absolutely fucking disgusting. I reckon I’ll be pushed into some shit job through it, coz I can’t afford to duck and dive while prices skyrocket. Will see what happens with the next bill this summer. Must cut computer usage down to near fuck-all. Really tired. 11.01pm.
Wednesday 23rd March 2022
Jenni went to do an interview over the road in The Café Under the Spire and I went to get presents for Mother’s Day. Also checked out some skateboards in Native Skates. Today has been the warmest so far this year. 17 degrees. This evening we visited Sky Hawkins. Then watched a Benn Platt gig on YouTube and some Evan Hanson songs. 11.05pm.
Thursday 24th March 2022
NCD have threatened to sack me. If the online training that is severely outstanding was so important, why have they waited until now to contact me via my personal email instead of doing that from the outset? I have already explained to staff that I have difficulty logging onto the college system most of the time. Even logging my hours for payment is stressful. It would be nice if the safeguarding sensitivity towards vulnerable adults included employees. I’m already on the bones of my arse unable to afford running hot water and now reluctant to turn my desktop computer on unless absolutely necessary due to electricity charges. I do one session a week at Waddy, none at the college. Do they even know why I was asked to work at Waddy in the first place? Not happy. At all. 11.38pm.
Friday 25th March 2022
Got all the online training courses done for the college and spoke my mind quite a bit too. No replies yet. Probably wondering what to do about me. Jenni says I handled it well. I’ve not been shopping again and I’m running low on supplies. I listened to a couple of Fury albums tonight coz my head wasn’t fit for much else after all the bullshit earlier in the day. Some people are still masked up. Some are hating government. Some are just wondering where the next meal is coming from. I am wondering how to keep things going. Looking forward to a ride on the Sonder Frontier this Sunday. 10.38pm.
Saturday 26th March 2022
Good to get a walk out in the sunshine. Stocked up on food. Hacked ice off the freezer. Had a big afternoon sleep then chatted with brother Mark on the phone about films, bikes and energy bills. Aches and pains. I put an old stereo radio on for a while. Foo Fighters. Sad to hear of Taylor Hawkins dying. I read Hollie McNish essays – one about Halloween and one about blagging stuff at food courts and shops. Hilarious. Bed now. 10.35pm.
Sunday 27th March 2022
Nice to speak to Mam and Ernie on the phone this afternoon. Mother’s Day presents arrived safely. Had some major laughs reading about the school days of Hollie McNish. Then went out on the big Sonder Frontier bike. Cleaned a full riverside trail, including two stream crossings. Bike working fine. Listened to a bit of Rollins spoken word from his current US Tour and slept a lot. Early bed before an uncertain week. 10.10pm.
Monday 28th March 2022
Another shit day trying to jump through hoops. To be honest, I think I’m fucking done with it all. I think I’m going to get an assessment for mental health, go on the fucking sick and stay that way. I’ve tried doing this workshop community practitioner thing for two decades – had some lucky breaks and good runs but seems like it’s all over. I’m not a teacher, never was, never will be. Sick of pretending. I still want to write my little self-indulgent poems but don’t expect many people to pay attention. I know I can’t last five minutes in a proper job. Can’t take instruction. Can’t remember stuff. Body starting to fuck up. Fucking sick of it. Fucking covid. Fucking war. Fucking sanctimonious hypocritical bullshitters. Fucking thieving bastard corporations. Fuck it all. Had enough. Time’s up. Ready for a big sleep. 11.30pm.
Tuesday 29th March 2022
Bit better. But only just. I helped a little on the proofing of a pamphlet and gave printing advice. But otherwise, still chasing college for IT support. Still getting nowhere. I tried to finish end of term stuff again and just can’t face it. I wrote to Jenni. She is taking some quiet time for a couple of days. I wrote a letter to Waddington Street Centre that took two hours. Then listened to some tracks by Fury: Breakdown and Born to Sin. I haven’t familiarized myself with much of the band’s repertoire in time for the gig on Thursday, but it will be good to be in the room when they play. I put the computer off at ten. I dread the next electricity bill. Ann Porro kindly ordered two morning pages books today. Pink and Purple. I’m very grateful. She’s ace. 10.28pm.
Wednesday 30th March 2022
Bit better day. Trimmed some copies of Limerance for Sheila Wakefield. Then keyed in some work. Down to the dregs of the food. Listened to a couple of Fury albums, Born to Sin and The Grand Prize. Got ready to go to Jen’s then realised that I hadn’t shaved for a few days. There was a little break in the snow just before nine, so I walked into town for the 47-bus. Waited ten minutes past schedule, then decided to walk round to the ATM for bank balance. Still not paid. Was just about to turn the corner when I saw the back end of a 47-bus pulling out of Consett station, so I legged it down Front Street where it arrived a minute later. Left Consett at ten, reached Askew Road near Jen’s a mere forty minutes later. Jen is out with friends. I had spready cheese on toast and a bottle of dark fruits Tango. I’ll be in bed soon. 11.35pm.
Thursday 31st March 2022
Champion night at The Globe to see rock metal band Fury. I don’t know their music very well, but I had a copy of the setlist a week in advance, so I familiarized myself with the necessary tunes. Me and Jenni rocked out. Was ace to hear top quality old-school-influenced rock played by young people. Always mint to see bands having a great time on stage. Fury play Trillians rock bar in September, so I’ll see them again. Their support band The Filth Hounds were canny as well. I’ve never seen trad hard rock and metal played in a pub before. And it was only £6.60 a ticket. I bought Fury’s new album Born to Sin afterwards. Me and Jenni had a drink in Bodega then caught the last bus back to Bensham. Jenni put on a YouTube clip of the Foo Fighters playing Queen’s Somebody to Love with Taylor Hawkins on vocals. My ears are ringing quite a bit. 11.50pm.
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