MARCH (PART ONE)

Sunday 1st March 2020

The hours seem to be speeding by and I can’t see what I’ve achieved with my time. The computer is piss poor again. I got a Writing Half Marathon sorted this evening. Before that I was mainly just typing and editing. It hasn’t exactly been a lazy Sunday, but I seem to be stuck in sludge. I watched a good grunge documentary. I watched a bunch of ‘Hands Off Gretel’ videos. Some of the gruesome storylines are well twisted. Miss Lauren Tate certainly has a vivid imagination. I’m keen to get copies of the records / CDs for her artwork. I read a few chapters of Jessie Lynn McMains’ book ‘What We Talk About When We Talk About Punk’. I saw the video that Ken Brady posted of New Model Army on Top of the Pops performing No Rest. Eight years ago, me and Jenni did a gig with lead singer Justin Sullivan and Joolz Denby in Darlington. Anyway, I’m feeling a bit rough with chest problems. Probably to do with dust and cold air. I’m getting on a bit now. I read some Becky Baldwin interviews. She seems to be full-on all the time: three bands on the go and teaching music as well.  I look at these young people doing creative stuff and feel like I’ve totally lost my way. I want to keep on top of my typing. I aim to be sorted for the next two book prints by Tuesday. Only some colour inserts and a few title/verso sections to do. I’ve got plenty of dust jackets for now. 11.17 pm.

Monday 2nd March 2020

So today was a pain. Very trying. A bad workman blames his tools. Computer kept jamming, files disappearing, ‘no internet’ notifications on the desktop when there clearly was because my tablet worked fine. Does anyone else fucking hate Windows 10 and Office 365, or is it just me? I needed some files from the old computer and was amazed how breezy an experience it was retrieving pix and documents from the ten-year-old HP in the back room with a 2003 XP package on it. Work consisted of changing recipient name on some Anomalies files, adding a few exclusive pages of written content, inserted a couple of different photographs and changed the name of an existing file, removed some page numbers from a PDF using an online editing package, uploaded book files to USB for next Waddington Street Centre printing session. Spent ages searching for pictures from my Shades of Grey book launch that are no longer online because the photographer has deactivated their Facebook account. Foolishly, I didn’t download the images to my hard drive when I was tagged back in 2011. All the above should have taken two hours, tops, but due to the computer being slow it took me ten and a half hours. My head is frazzled. 10.28 pm.

Tuesday 3rd March 2020

It’s getting late. I didn’t get home till half eight. I went into Newcastle after the Durham workshop to get some greyboard from Details for hardback books. Had a little browse round HMV at DVDs, CDs and t-shirts. But I’m spent up now. And tonight, I’m tired. So, I just did some typing till the broadband decided to work. Cut-outs are an everyday occurrence now. Watched a great Jessica Johnson showreel. Saw her in Educating Rita at the Durham Gala Theatre a few years back. She was ace. Today I wrote six new drafts in the Half Marathon. The group enjoyed the session, and all did some good stuff. We will be doing another anthology at some point. House is very cold tonight. I didn’t read much today. Been making use of the internet before connection fucks off again. 11.44 pm.

Wednesday 4th March 2020

My Bad Pollyanna CDs arrived today. Along with a handwritten gig ticket. I’ve been listening to both albums, Monstrous Child and The Broken Toys for a few years now, but only online. I wanted to own the discs so I could listen to them downstairs whilst making books. I knocked out some pamphlets this morning. Eleven hours later there is another copy of Anomalies in the book press. I listened to both BP albums twice. Then it was ‘In The Court of the Crimson Queen’ by Toyah twice. Then ‘21’ by Adele three or four times. The book took longer than expected. At one point a couple of years ago, I thought I’d be able to knock out a printed hardback in about four hours. Ha-ha. And some people think I lack optimism? Today’s book took a lot longer. I am keen to get to bed. 11.39 pm.

Thursday 5th March 2020

Stressful morning. Updates from Microsoft: “We have reset your device to basic settings. Please log out and log back in with your password.” I don’t know the password. Jenni set it. She’ll have told me, but I can’t remember. I transferred videos from my camera to the old computer so that I’ll have space for tonight’s Poetry Jam footage. It set me back an hour. Then when I boarded the bus to Consett I realised I’d forgotten my rechargeable batteries for the camera. To go back home would have set me back yet another hour. Instead, I forked out seven quid for some more batteries. On the plus side, I got more Deluxe photo inserts printed, and made up ten copies of the Waddy Works 2019 anthology. We sold a few tonight. Poetry Jam was good. Unfortunately, we were one guest down as Megan Pattie had to pull out due to sore throat and heavy cold. But we did okay. Andi Talbot read us some of his poems that had been published in magazines. Open floor was varied. Alex Birch read three poems from the anthology. Chris Short did new pieces. Helen Steadman did a poem and Natalie Crick read more dark material. Tom Kelly was on form. He ditched his rehearsed set in favour of more personal poems from his ninth collection, This Small Patch. He did one about Thomas Jopling and finished with Geordie from the previous book, ‘Spelk’. I did some newish things as well – still need tweaking but will be included in my next feature set. Thanks to Fergus for setting up, working the café and for a lift home. And thanks to all who came. A good night. 11.00 pm.

Friday 6th March 2020

Morning Pages. Stationery searches in shops. Bank transactions. Dust jacket made for Anomalies book. Library Correspondence for Meet the Author. Finance discussions. Online research. Thanks to Martin for info on next week’s Home Alone exhibition. I’ll try to get along. Thanks to Hands Off Gretel for amazing music on Spotify. Nice little Rollins piece on YouTube from 1995 about his book and record companies. 11.33 pm.

Saturday 7th March 2020

Out after ten to pay the electricity and gas bill. £161.80 wasn’t bad for the winter. Gas was only on for Xmas, New Year and a few days when Jenni was here fixing up the computer. I got the Poetry Jam pix up online. Even on the newish computer they took 25 minutes to load. I got the dust jacket folded and trimmed for a standard Anomalies and got the completed book wrapped up ready for delivery. I got Tuesday’s writing workshop sorted and things ready for a couple of days at Jen’s place. It will give the next-door neighbour a break from my high-volume effing and blinding at daily minor mishaps. Oh, and it’s a fiver to post a chapbook to America. Sod’s law I get into zine culture predominantly active, perzines anyway, in America. Currently in Consett bus station. Mild but drizzly night. Pleased to be out of the house. 9.24 pm.

Sunday 8th March 2020

In town for a few hours with Jenni and her mam. Big Tesco bargain haul. This afternoon we had pizza and chips. Watched a bit of Columbo then Dancing on Ice. Good to see a local entrepreneur on Dragons’ Den. Shame he misled people about the DIY nature of his bespoke products. DIY means fucking do it yourself. Not farm the work out and get a finished product shipped to your premises – be it book, cooking pot, shoes or anything else. Been eating cakes and dark chocolate biscuits and pecan chocolate cake. 10.41 pm.

Monday 9th March 2020

Morning Pages took a while to write coz I’m doing them as neatly as possible with the intention of making a few copies of the notebook for sale. I sat talking with Jenni about money, housing and mental health. Then she went for a job interview. I fell asleep on the futon for an hour. Read some of Kathleen Kenny’s The Bed-sharers again. Got offers to do two Meet the Author readings in June and July. Jen’s mam was in with us to watch the telly for a while. Peanut butter on rice cakes for supper. Blackcurrant squash. 10.52 pm.

Tuesday 10th March 2020

Good bus journey into Durham. Read some ‘Poets in their Own Words’ essays, prepped more bits and pieces for today’s session. Photocopied colour pix and poems for our Translation workshop. Don’t think it went down too well. I confirmed summer gigs. So, feature sets this year: January, February, April, June, July and August. Wish I could have one for this month. I photocopied more flyers for Citizens House workshop. Good to check out zine and chapbooks tonight. Amazed the internet stayed on. Nearly six hours and counting. Ready for bed now. 11.17 pm.

Wednesday 11th March 2020

Rain didn’t stop me walking to Consett this lunchtime. Got a few things for Mam for Mother’s Day and posted them off to Ernie. I came home and waited for the internet to start working at half four. Keyed in notes and ate a chip stottie. Listened to Hands Off Gretel. Wrote another email to Bad Pollyanna. They may have to start their show on the 28th in the evening instead of the afternoon. If they do, I probably won’t be able to go unless I book another coach home.  And that would make it a near 24-hour trip. I watched online footage of Sisters of Mercy from a recent Leeds gig. Initially thought new song ‘But Genevieve’ was okay. Then watched ‘First and Last and Always’ from the same gig and it was abysmal. I think Hussey and Adams have done better for themselves since they left in 1985 and formed The Mission. Not much done today. And out again tomorrow. 11.31 pm.

Thursday 12th March 2020

Got into Consett just before Home Alone started at the library. About fifty people there. Quite a moving piece about the lives of isolated elderly people. Good little living room set. Good acting. Nice photo exhibition as well. Went for a chat with the Consett Writers for a while afterwards. Watched ‘Born into This’ the Bukowski documentary tonight, after contributing to a Facebook thread about his behaviour towards women. Got three issues of ‘Dreich’ magazine in a padded envelope from Scotland. Read a bit of the first. I’m currently listening to Liv Hyde of Bad Pollyanna doing cover versions online so fans can vote for their favourite to be included in the band’s acoustic shows at the end of the month. Fingers crossed the shows go ahead, what with coronavirus and that. Loads of bands have cancelled: Ozzy, Queen + Adam Lambert, Slipknot, The Mission. Hands off Gretel have rescheduled a load of shows but that’s coz their singer had a lurgy, but hopefully not the big virus. I’m enjoying Liv’s performances. Including Moving by Kate Bush and The River by Bruce Springsteen. She’s very down to earth. Funny, and swears like a trooper. But not as bad as the girl effing and blinding in the doorway of Tesco this afternoon. 10.40 pm.

Friday 13th March 2020

Unlucky for some. Lots of events cancelled due to coronavirus. Over 700 people infected, according to UK figures, but could be up to 10,000 coz people don’t know they have it. So, if they aren’t aware that they’ve got/had it what’s the big danger? Obviously take extra hygiene precautions – you wouldn’t cough your guts up over your granny in the care home at the best of times. It looks as though the whole fucking world will grind to a halt now every time someone claims good cause. I doubt Poetry Jam will happen next month. I haven’t yet heard Waddington Street Centre’s stance. In the last couple of hours, the government has done a U-turn and there will probably be an Events ban in place by next week. Our little gatherings sometimes have less in attendance than the number of passengers on local bus journeys. A dozen to twenty people but fuck it. I personally would like to carry on as normal but if everyone else is stepping back, what’s the point. Tonight, Liv of Bad Pollyanna offered me a free studio tour instead of the gig coz they are starting four hours later than originally billed. I just want to see the show, really. But I reckon it will be a case of no travel unless absolutely necessary by the 28th anyway. For fuck’s cunting sake! 11.49 pm

Saturday 14th March 2020

Staying home this weekend. Jenni says she feels like she may have cold and doesn’t want to risk passing it on, especially if it turns out to be something worse. I’ve been at the computer most of the day. Coronavirus stuff then music videos. I did a bit of the session plan for Tuesday. I don’t know if peeps will turn up for it. Waddy is staying open. Tonight’s ITV news is talking about plans by the government to quarantine all elderly people for up to FOUR MONTHS. Jesus! Requisitioning hotels as hospitals. Private wards to be taken over by the NHS. It’s all getting a bit full-on now. I reckon gigs will be totally out of the question within seven days. Some poetry stuff is going ahead – Babble Gum and The Stanza – but I’m not sure about Poetry Jam. Performers, Artists, Venues, freelancers are going to take a hammering. No statutory sick pay. Talk of schools being closed. In Ireland it will be up to four months. Mam and Ernie have just gone on a three-week holiday. Wonder if they come back early. I went to Tesco tonight. Few staff in. Pulling stock to the front of the shelves. No toilet rolls. Notices restricting stock to two packs per customer. Outside I saw an elderly lady wipe the handle of a trolley. Inside, a store manager directed another woman to a location then wiped his nose on the back of his hand. Back home, I feel a headache coming on. Bed soon. 11.47 pm.

Sunday 15th March 2020

Another day mainly at the computer. But good to get away to make up a copy of my latest morning pages as a paperback. I will test it out in the next couple of days/weeks and do another volume for the second fortnight of the month. I’ve been in contact with Jenni online and read numerous articles/comments on coronavirus. At this point in time I still intend to go ahead with Poetry Jam… I got an email from Bad Pollyanna today with a link to some B+Bs in Huddersfield. I’ll just get the bus back after the gig, rather than stay over. That is, if I go at all. Still need an opening guest for Poetry Jam. Will aim for that tomorrow. Also, to get some flyers out for the writing workshop. I don’t think it will go ahead. Anyway, nice pie and veg dinner tonight. And music by Hands Off Gretel. Solitary contentment. 11.38 pm.

Monday 16th March 2020

So, you want us to avoid all social contact, but you aren’t closing schools? You want people to stay away from pubs, clubs, theatres and restaurants, but won’t officially close them, thus rendering those businesses unable to claim on insurance for loss of earnings? My head is splitting. I haven’t got the virus, I’m just sick to death of reading update after update about gig cancellations, venue closures, and death. I have postponed my Citizens House workshop in Consett till the summer at least. When I rang Waddy this morning, the deputy manager said its business as usual. But that was before the latest ‘advice’ to avoid social contact. Sod’s law, I got a third Poetry Jam guest sorted for April. Jen’s job is down shitter if the Tyne Theatre closes. The Baltic has closed, so has ARC Stockton and a number of other venues. Some students have been sent home from Uni for the rest of the academic year. What a fucking nightmare. I didn’t get much done tonight. I’ll get an early night and trying to start afresh tomorrow, but I reckon I won’t be at Waddy next week. So, it’s a week’s living expenses I’ll not get. Poor Jen is still in isolation. France has suspended rents and utility bills. We just get told to isolate and wash hands. 10.13 pm.

Tuesday 17th March 2020

The bus driver on the 16 to Consett said cash payments are fine for the moment, and things aren’t really that bad. The driver of the X15 to Durham wore surgical gloves. Good to chat with Waddy staff. Had an 80% turnout and a mint session. Some great writing over the two hours, culminating in song lyric rewrites. Afterwards, I got some pix printed for the next Anomalies book builds, hopefully taking place over the coming weeks. I still have a load of college paperwork… The buses were quiet tonight. The roads not busy at all. The supermarket was scary – shelves decimated. No bread, no porridge, no fresh veg – well, not much. I got cheese, chocolate, sweet and sour ready-meal, steak pie, a few other things. Good to speak to Jenni on the phone for about an hour tonight. She has food, so has her mam. They should be okay. I need bread later this week. I’ll need more porridge next week. More bands cancelled gigs today: Paul Heaton & Jaqueline Abbot, Hands Off Gretel and Toyah Willcox. I am okay for a few weeks but may need some emergency cash in the next couple of months. I am a bit tired and will be taking it easy tomorrow. Then I’ll be making books. Chuffed to have paper and toner for the next Deluxe book. I’m okay at home. 10.40 pm.